What to do about gossips and dbs check

[Gossipswhattodo]

Hi all

I could fo with some advice on what to fo in regards my volunteering position and an enhanced dbs

i recently ,though my own incompetence, was given a caution for having a bladed weapon in a public place ,this will show when I next need a dbs

i was flying, at very short notice , to a family funeral and inadvertently had a tiny and I mean tiny ,less than the 3cm long , knife in my carry luggage , it’s a bag I often use camping do I keep a small knife in there

i csn only blame grief and menopause for my oversight

please no advice on how I should “always check every time you fly “ or “I would never do this”.

unless I have a Time Machine it’just something I have to deal with the consequences of

I volunteer once a month at an activity that involves children ,obvs an enhanced dbs is necessary for this

as it happens I won’t be helping out untill August so I won’t be in contact with the children from the caution being issued and my dbs running out in August

my issue is that when the dbs is redone in August the caution will ,as it should , show up

it would be up to the main organiser to decide if I’m still “ok” to be in position ,and I will , of course ,abide by their decision but my issue is with a member of the main organisers, not the one who actually does dbs,

this person has in the past given out my private medical information in a meeting attended by staff at my children’s schools

shr has form for wanting up be in “control” and know everyone’s business and would take great delight in “shaming” me to everyone she can,

i simply can not risk her knowing my situation I am going to step back before the dbs is due

I would though still like yo help out the others who run the activity ,they would be the “responsibile” as it were , I would just be an occasional helper

but I don’t know quite how to phrase my “I m not going to help from August ,but I still like to help from August, so no need for a dbs ” ???

thanks

It's not your livelihood, so just don't do it. Saves you the embarrassment of being told that having a conviction for possession of a knife means they can't have you.

Wow, I guess i was very lucky when I accidentally shoved my first aid kit, containing a Swiss army knife, in my hand luggage! I did have to show it, but nothing further happened. Im guessing the difference is mine folded, and yours is a fixed blade?

Given the reputation of the person who will see the DBS, I would resign from the volunteer role.

I think even occasional helpers need a DBS same as parents helping out for occasional reading in primaries.
I would step away from it entirely OP and just turn up for any associated family events/bake sales/performances etc. Give items/donations/extras where you can but no hands-on support at all. Use menopause as your reason for quitting. Unless all parents have to do a rota, they should just let you go xx

I would let them check and then decide if they still wanted you.

As an aside, NEVER accept a caution. They do show up on DBS's even though the police will try to convince you otherwise.

I'd laugh it off. Probably tell them in advance like an anecdote. Oh that was so embarrassing. Heading to sunny Spain, I left my camping stuff in my hand luggage and there was a knife in there! Cringe central. Haha...

It's clear it was innocent mistake and you're no axe murderer! So no need to be ashamed. If you're open about it then I can see it will lose it's supposed power over you. This secret that nobody will hate you for in reality.

It's not guaranteed that it will be disclosed on the DBS (although it's likely it will). The police can use their discretion on certain cautions.

Why not just explain like you have done here?

Don't resign. This is clearly unrelated to your role. Speak to the person who actually signs off on the DBS so that s/he can be prepared (and manage the loose canon).

Also, as per PPs, I'd also start now chatting to all the others about how you were caught unawares at the airport en route to a family funeral and how intense that was.

I too have been surprised and had to surrender ... a corkscrew (! seriously, ) in Limoges but this has never affected my enhanced DBS which I held then and have renewed for 20 years since.

I’d resign now, not because you shouldn’t do the role, but because it’s not worth it when you have someone you distrust so much to risk them telling people your private information. Don’t worry about helping out until August, give yourself some time back

Goodness, times have changed. When I was a child, lots of us had penknives at school - similar size to yours, OP - for everyday mundane purposes; and it wouldn't for a single moment have occurred to any of us to try to stick them into a person.

I'm not saying that they shouldn't be careful - and obviously follow whatever the law dictates, especially as we now live in much less innocent times - but what a reason to be excluded for!

I agree with PP, though, that I'd just make my excuses and quit. Just say that your personal circumstances have changed and sadly you no longer will be able to fit helping there into your schedule.

If anything, the knife seems like a red herring, though; as this women sounds toxic and like she despises you/others for actually doing a kind thing.

I don’t understand why they cautioned you unless there’s something you haven’t mentioned, I’ve done exactly what you described and they offered for me to either put it in the bin or pay £7.50 to have it posted.

@tarheelbaby. Ive surrendered 2 corkscrews, they didn’t even take my name. I’m a safeguarding officer and process the dbs checks

I guess the ppl you volunteer with know you, so just explain, I have known 2 ppl who it showed on their DBS, both explained and they were still accepted, some of the things can be so trivial, as in your case, when you consider the circumstances and are not relevant to what you're applying for.

Not doubting you OP but I think it’s worth saying if I was the “dbs checker/ employer” and you explained this is why you had a caution for possession of a bladed weapon on your dbs I wouldn’t believe you. I think that’s why it’s not worth waiting and explaining, it won’t make any difference

Wow , if I didn’t think I’d be believed by the organiser then I would t be helping out anyway

what exactly would they think ?? I’m off stabbing people ?

Many thanks for all the replies , seems split on whether to carry on with the volunteering or not , I’m also a bit on the fence myself

if mrs gossip wasn’t there I’d go to the dbs checker as they are totally trustworthy, but if there is any “talk@ about my dbs ,although Mrs gossip isn’t involved , she’d without doubt get wind of it and just cause havoc

Unfortunately I had a bit of a”jobs worth” in the checking part of the airport ,they were totally of course within their remit to deal with as they saw fit but they then involved the police who then “had” to give a caution ???

“ if anything, the knife seems like a red herring, though; as this women sounds toxic and like she despises you/others for actually doing a kind thing.“

luckily my volunteering does not overlap with her at

Is this good legal advice? I could really do with something like being arrested for dummies. I’m probably like the OP and I can see how one had a Swiss Army knife for complete practical reasons and would not reconcile with being arrested for it. I am completely naive in that respect.

but yes I could do with want not to do when arrested tutorial!

OP- I’m so sorry to his is happening. There must be a person that is higher up than the gossip in the organisation? Can you trust them? I’d go to them first and see what they say but other than that I’d bow out claiming another commitment.

as regards accepting the caution , I was just bfpcused on getting to my family ,it was the last flight I could have taken to be at the funeral , it was in the Republic of Ireland so relative died on Tuesday was buried on friday , all quite typical ,

i could go “above” the main organiser but anything out of the ordinary will be pounced upon by mrs gossip , she has access to emails ,letters etc do no guarantee stall that she wouldn’t get wind of something

I know I found very focused on her but in the past when I was at a very ,very vulnerable point in my life she was just awful to me and used her position to hurt me , I eont be taking that risk agsin

You aren't the only one - on a uni field trip to Amsterdam a friend had a large pair of scissors in her pencil case which she had thrown in her case without thinking.

You could just explain and see what they say. If a big fuss is created then bow out gracefully. It seems really sad to be forced out of something you enjoy for an innocent mistake.

It’s not the worry of a refusal that bothers me ,they have ,of course, to be happy with who they have as helpers , it’s the “rumors” mrs gossip will spread , I called her out on her , quite vile, behaviour in the past and she’s hated me ever since,

Im amazed police took that sort of action, total overkill

I got done at a spanish airport, cant remember which one now, I'd left a massive pair of scissors in my toiletries bag which I ONLY use for travelling but for some reason had had some menopause brain fart and used it for something else and put the scissors in it. Had a very angry and stern spanish airport staff member telling me off in front of people. This was on the way home to the UK, on the way out UK staff hadnt spotted them at all

I would just laugh it off at work, I have an enhanced DBS too, I dont think I would lose my job over something like this. Probably be viewed as a bit dim but then these days I am so whatever.

The difficulty is that ,even if I don’t volunteer, I’d still like to attend some of the other ,non child based ,events , but don’t want to do that with mrs gossip in the background