Feeling old, unfit and scruffy at 63 and wanting a reset

[knockkneedknackeredoldnosebag]

I feel like I am suddenly old, fat, unfit and scruffy. I keep comparing myself with my friends and I'm feeling sad.
I'm writing this down mainly as a record for myself but if anyone reads this and has any constructive comments or helpful ideas I'd be grateful or if anyone wants to join me in a life overhaul?

I'm 63.

Weight: I am 5ft 1 and 12 stone 3lbs. Overweight I know, well Obese actually. I keep trying to lose weight and it just isn't working (aka I'm not trying hard enough).

Diet:
Pros: I have been vegan for years, I won't change that. I eat a lot of veg/fruit.
I have done Slimming World on and off for years with no success. I am now trying to eat healthily, incorporating more olive oil, nuts, avocados and have massively cut down on UPFs and am eating more veg/fibre/fermented foods.

I did drink alcohol every night but have cut down massively and only have a couple of drinks when I go out, which is a few times a month.
Cons: Portion control. I know my dinners are too big and crisps. I eat too many crisps.

Fitness:
I am unfit.
I do walk. Usually 7,000 - 10,000 steps daily. I find going up stairs difficult. My heart races and I feel out of breath.
I swim and do aquafit occasionally. Used to go more often and I could get back to doing this more.
I have garden and allotment, grow my own veg - this is good exercise.
I am waiting for a bunion op, scheduled for the summer so don't want to sign up for personal trainer/gym contract as will have to be off my feet for approx 6 weeks but after I have recovered I am thinking of going back to online exercise classes for over 60s: Goodnick

Health: I have

Fatty Liver
High Cholesterol
Gallbladder Polyps
Lichen Sclerosus
Dry Eyes
Bunion

All the above sounds a lot but none of them cause me any problems that bother me to a great extent.

The Fatty Liver and Cholesterol worry me but I think past alcohol consumption caused both of these so am hopeful without drinking every night and if I lose weight I can get rid of both of these issues.

The Polyps aren't a problem - they are being monitored yearly.

The Lichen Sclerosus is in remission and controlled.

The dry eyes are mostly controlled with drops.

Bunion will be sorted hopefully with an op.

Beauty/Fashion
I am lost!

I haven't bought anything new for years as I keep putting it off until I lose weight. Then I don't lose weight so I wear the same old joggers/t shirt/jumper combo most days.

I can only wear frumpy awful bunion friendly shoes until the op - this does limit what I wear as a nice dress would just look stupid with these shoes. I am looking forward to being able to wear decent shoes or even nice trainers.

I don't wear jeans or tight trousers due to the LS. It is ok if I wear dresses or loose jogging bottoms but jeans/trousers would cause soreness.

I don't wear much make-up. Just light foundation, blusher and lip gloss. Cannot wear eye make up due to the dry eyes.

My hair is quite thick. I cut and dye it myself but I probably should go to hairdresser.

Skin is ok. Few wrinkles but not bothered.

Things I don't want:
Face lift
Botox/fillers etc.
WLIs

I am interested in health apps and was thinking of joining Zoe or the new Dr. Chatterjee thing but don't have loads of money. Could afford one or the other as a birthday present to myself I guess.

Other positive stuff
Sleep is good
Husband and adult children are lovely
Have good friends
No stress
Not much money but not desperate

See just by writing this down I see a lot of the problems would be helped by just losing weight:

My liver/cholesterol would be better
I'd feel fitter, especially going up stairs
My nicer clothes I have will fit and I can buy some new ones

But if anyone has any suggestions please hit me with them!

"Sleep is good
Husband and adult children are lovely
Have good friends
No stress
Not much money but not desperate"

Net net you're already winning!

IMO, get down the hairdresser and let them do their magic. I do my own hair too but tbh at your age to havr lovely thick hair is a blessing so make the most of it!

Wear suntan lotion everyday and mix in a little tanning moisuriser or a tan face sprsy like StMoriz from Superdrug (cheap but great and so easy to use!).

Buy an exercise bike for your front room and go on it every day while you watch TV.

Take vitamins and general mineral supplement (not expensive) and get enough protein, fibre, water and good fat. It'll make you feel healthier and regulate appetite better.

All this is quite straightforward but itll make a big difference!

Try this for starters
https://www.nhs.uk/better-health/lose-weight/
Find and exercise class you like, pilates or yoga is a good starting point. Can you swim, it's good all round fitness.
I agree a good haircut is worth every penny.
Get into Boots or Superdrug and update your skincare and make up.
I'm 57 so not much younger, you deserve to be your best.

If you can afford it, buy an electric bike (1k) and get out there cycling. I do 50 or so miles a week and it's a game changer, as its low impact and you can use electric for the hills.

As for clothes - pop into Primark and refresh your wardrobe with some new stuff. I bought some fabulous cotton trousers in there for £16 very similar to the Cos ones at £80.

No advice but solidarity.
I’m 59 and I’ve totally lost my way. Clothes - scruffy would be polite. I work with dogs and am perpetually covered in mud,slobber and hair. Most of my clothes don’t fit - lots are tight (enormous bloody boobs), the rest swamp me
I’m notionally a good weight but it’s dispersed in all the wrong places since menopause. Food is awful. Each day starts with good intentions but ends nose down in the biscuit tin. It’s 6 months since my hair was cut, I badly need the dentist but avoid it (and every test known to medicine) with vigour
exercise is - sporadic at best
I’m lucky (and yes,it’s pure luck or possibly just the lack of tests to prove otherwise) to be healthy but I’m abusing that luck. It will run out if I don’t get my bloody act together

I need accountability - maybe you do too?

Just a thought but the only time I have been heart racing and tired going upstairs I have had low iron levels/anemia
Could you get a blood test to see what your b12, iron and ferritin is doing?

I also recommend a kettle bell weight and doing some low impact exercised at home eg squats, pressing it overhead, kettle bell swings. I do Joe wicks kettle bell workouts and Caroline Girvan but she kills me off. Great for joints, bones, shape and fitness. I've also done seated videos when I broke my toe so it can be done whilst you recover from your op

Deffo a haircut, it does wonders.
I would say embrace the wide leg trousers or m&s cargos, some tshirts or vest under shirt/jumper combo or live in dresses for a bit
What about flatform tevas? Are they bunion friendly? Or sketchers?

I was about to say wide-legged linen or linen look trousers in light colours for spring or summer, OP.

You sound like you are doing fine but a bit of a reset would help.

I needed one and I went on Vinted and searched using 'cotton' and 'linen' and picked up white and beige wide legged trousers, white and blue linen shirts, and then I put a black or navy vest underneath. Very simple for summer and would look good with the type of shoes you have to wear, as they can be long trousers, so you sweep about a bit. If you can get sandals, paint your toenails in dark red.

Just to check, I've just been on a site for shoes for people with bunions, and there's plenty of great sandals on there that would look fab with wide-legged trousers. I know it seems insurmountable, but just pick one type of outfit, get some trainers and some sandals for summer, and go for it. I think those type of shoes look better with trousers than with skirts but I'm not a long skirt type of a person, you might prefer skirts or dresses, in which case I'd still search by material type as I hate polyester.

Hi,

You are already doing a lot of great things. This progress counts.
I agree- haircut can do wonders, and a good transformation will look different.
Food-wise, very good! Swap the crisps habit and replace it with homemade roasted vegetable crisps or something healthy.
If you are interested in Zoe, their podcasts, recipes, health info and nutrition articles on the website are free to access.

As a vegan, you may have some vitamin deficiencies. My friend, who is a vegetarian, takes iron tablets daily. I'm a flexitarian, sometimes plant-based, and need a vitamin boost.

Some great suggestions/advice from the ladies here. Xx

In terms of skincare and make up, I would suggest. Perhaps tiu already do all of this or similar?

• twice daily cleanse and moisturise - I like Superdrug Liz Earie dupe cleansing balm with a muslin cloth and in the evening use Garnier rose micellar water plus an eye cream and moisturiser you like.
• serum for a bit of a glow
• Benetint for cheeks (and lips )
• Laura Mercier baked foundations are very good for older skin as well, I find.

Eyebrow shaping also helps frame the face.

Just one thing food wise- cut out the crisps. Replace with nuts, or seeds or olives or cornichons if you need something to nibble on , but the crisps have nothing good to offer you.
Just one thing exercise-wise - try 4x 1 minute bursts, eg star jumps / knee lifts while swinging arms .
As for clothes, Vivaia shoes are designed to be bunion friendly, they are not cheap though, so maybe try Vinted to get an idea of whether they are right for you. Loose wide leg trousers/ cargoes with deep rises might work, or maybe skirts, there’s lots around. Go for a big try- on session at somewhere big near you- Next has reasonable prices and a lot of choice so you can try different styles. Even if you don’t buy anything there, it helps to see how different shapes work for you.

Since you're vegan, it might be wise to go to your GP for a thorough checkup and to get your levels of iron, B12, and other nutrients analysed. You could also get your thyroid function checked.

After that, you'll know where you stand and the best course to take.

Agree about cutting out crisps - honestly, just go cold turkey, stop buying them, don’t have them in the house, don’t look at them in the supermarket!! They are ridiculously addictive!
I stopped eating them from January 1st this year- feel much better

I am 62 and Mounjaro completely changed my life, my style, my confidence, everything.

I'm a similar age and feel a little the same in some ways. I went to a PT just before turning 60 and lost a lot of weight, learnt how to use weights, etc and it gave me the confidence to join a gym. It would be a good starting point (even if it's only for a month or two) and would give you that accountability you're after. Also they'd be able to help with exercises to do once you have your bunion operation. You're already doing well with walking, etc which is supposed to be good. The clothes thing I struggle with too as I find it hard to find things that fit me (I'm a similar height to you) and rarely buy anything. I've considered going to a personal shopper at John Lewis but not yet done it. Agree cut out the crisps and reduce your portion sizes - use MyFitnessPal to monitor what you're eating and how many calories etc. Also get yourself some Renpho scales and use them once a week and keep a track on which way it's going.

Thank you everyone. Some great suggestions. Booked haircut and feel better already.

I was going to suggest WLI as they would really help with avoiding alcohol as well as weight loss.

Anyway, I can help with the shoes….Birkenstock Boston Clogs wide fit could be worn with bunions and they are super trendy.

I found it very hard to reduce post-menopausal weight on a mainly vegan diet - it's just too carby. We need more protein from peri menopause on - around 1.6g per kg of body weight.

Protein keeps you full for longer. I have actually gone back to eating poultry and fish and my weight is now healthy again.

Try tracking your protein for a week and see what it's like now.

Also, switch to whole carbs and cut right back on processed food.

You can't out-exercise the wrong diet.

First thing to do is buy clothes that look good in your current size.
I love PP's suggestion of wide leg linen trousers - cream, navy, sage or brick red- brown might be nice, with a good tee that skims your figure and a linen, chambray or fine cotton shirt open or loisely buttoned on top. Lots of these in M&S and other high street stores or supermarkets. Go for strong block colours you can swap around.

A few pieces of jewellery would be good. A chunky wrist cuff, a long pendant, maybe a big ring. They imply confidence.

I am back for an update. I got my hair cut into a short bob. Horrified at first as I looked like a lego person but played about with it and I like it now.

Measured myself for a bra (I usually live in sports bra type things). Got a bra. Liked the bra. Spent all day in the bra and could not wait to take bra off. Also it looked as if it fitted in the morning but my the evening boobs were falling out of the cup at the front. Horrible.

Ordered over £1000 of clothes from Next in petite size. Some size 18 were so tight, the jeans and trackie bottoms were way too big. I am sending 90% of it back. Which was the plan as I cannot afford £1000 on clothing. I just wanted to try out some styles at home. I always felt a bit too guilty to do this but the salesperson in Next actually recommended doing this. There are a few things I will keep.

I joined Zoe and really like it. Have been logging all my meals and getting a really good score. Have lost 4lb while eating healthily and feel better. Not done the gut test yet but I will after I have my operation on my foot (that may make the score go down temporarily)

Getting a cholesterol test tomorrow so hope that has gone down. Generally feeling a bit more like I am going in the right direction.

Solidarity on the haircut. I have always hated going and hate the idea of what poofed up blow dried horror they would do to me. I refuse to have a haircut that only works if I spend an age and a fortune on products and styling tools every day.

Good on you!