Options after sixth form for anxious 18-year-old needing confidence and structure

[AdviceforTeen]

I wonder if anyone can give me/DS some advice. He is 18 and in his last year of school. He’s naturally very bright and did really well in his GCSEs but has really struggled with needing to be organised and work independently in sixth form and he didn’t do very well in his mocks.

He has ADHD and struggles with mood/anxiety. He can be extremely shy with people he doesn’t know.

He doesn’t know what to do after school and hasn’t applied for university. I think he wouldn’t be ready for it now even if he manages to achieve good A levels so I think it’s the right decision. However, he is burying his head in the sand about what he will do instead as I think the thought of leaving school and moving on is so overwhelming for him.

I really want to encourage him to do something. I was watching a programme about people joining the navy recently and though the military would not be up his street at all, I thought something like the initial training they go through would really serve him well. But maybe something that is not quite so regimented!

So I wonder if there is some sort of confidence building residential course for people in his situation where he could learn life skills and independence but in a safe nurturing environment. That might be a good step that would give him some encouragement in his ability to get a job.

Has anyone come across anything like this or do you have any other suggestions?

Thank you.

The King's Trust (formerly the Prince's Trust) run courses to help with confidence and work readiness. Here's their link for parents:
Refer a young person share.google/xEeVnkl3kv2ELKy1H

Is there any area he would like to work in in the future?
Dc1 has asd and university was not going to work so applied for an entry level job in an area of slight interest. This was really the making of dc as the manager could see potential and put dc forward for a foundation degree which dc could do while working. The routine of working helped and the one day at university meant after 2 years dc was moved up a band. They now have more opportunities and more importantly have more confidence in themselves.
Dc started applying at the beginning of may for jobs because they were entry level they didn't need a level 3 qualification. Infact they started their job in the July before results came out. Worth looking at jobs if they can manage one even part time.
Could they do some volunteering over the summer? Dc1 had done some volunteering at a place that was used to asd and had a reputation for inclusivity which gave the confidence to apply for a paid job (and a reference).

Local govenment apprenticeships

A job or apprenticeship in something that interests him. But I’d also really consider travelling. It may seem like a big leap if he’s never lived independently, but there are loads of volunteer opportunities (I don’t mean the white saviour sorts, but where he could work at a retreat centre or for a farm and be provided food and accommodation). Look into things like Woofing or similar. It’s hard work, but it’s communal and he will meet other young people in the same position and gain some invaluable life skills.

Thanks everyone for your suggestions- some real food for thought.

I can imagine him travelling if he could work at some kind of animal sanctuary abroad as long as he wasn’t completely left to his own devices and given some kind of supervision.

He doesn’t really have an idea of what he wants to do but I think his lack of confidence probably means he rules out options that would really suit him.

I’ll have a look at all your suggestions and see what might be available. Thank you!

Watching with interest, I have a similar DS, it’s very difficult isn’t it

Yes, it’s such a worry. I can imagine him at 30 still living at home and hiding in his bedroom watching films!

I really want him to find something that motivates him but it’s so hard to know how to help.

He could do worse than getting a seasonal job over the summer while he thinks about the big picture and just grows up a bit. Travelling etc sounds fab but if he needs to start small holding down a job at home, that's not nothing. If the big picture is too scary. he doesn't have to solve it all now. It's quite hard for them round Sept if a lot of friends go on to uni. I think it's good to have some focus already in place, even if it's temporary. Maybe think of it as a gap year - take a year to earn some money, do some research, make a plan, have some fun next summer. And in the meantime get some more independence skills, maybe driving lessons if needed/wanted etc

I think that sounds like a sensible plan. Just need to get DS on board!