Dating Costs

[sundaymornings]

I'm realising that I'm spending a bit more than usual by being on the dating scene. I'm wondering if it's sustainable.
For context (M) I'm seeing someone about 50 minutes drive away. Spend the day together with petrol, coffee, lunch or dinner, odd ice cream, entrance fee to the cinema or an attraction I'm spending up to £100 and I usually see them twice a week. We don't always have dinner but certainly have lunch. They do contribute as well. Throw in the odd weekend or overnight trip and it can be expensive. And we also spend nights in watching movies, cooking and a glass of wine.
Anyone else?

You need to talk to her. Are you worried you will feel emasculated if you talk about budgeting? She is not worth it if she doesn’t understand. Yes it can be expensive when you’re getting to know someone and going out more but everything should be open and honest and talking early on about finances is important.
Make sure that if you move on to a more sofa and Netflix stage that you’re both taking turns to cook and host.
Is there a difference in your disposable incomes?
Personally I always prefer to pay for myself so there are no expectations on either side. I don’t understand why so many people still expect men to pay for women.

I think in this day and age it’s absolutely appropriate to go 50/50
So if you paid today , I’d pay next time .
Anyone who doesn’t want to do so is a red flag - male or female
And if budgets are not the same then it’s fine to adjust to suit .. coffee , walk in park , meet half way should be a lower cost than automatic - meal , flowers , fuel etc
Enjoy !

What’s your question here? Are you surprised that doing things costs money?

This is why I wouldn’t entertain dating anybody who’s 50 minutes away unfortunately the costs do rack up
Even if you’re going 50-50, it’s still got the potential to be £100 per date

Of course dating costs money in the same way the school holidays do, going out and going things eating out etc costs money. If you haven't got that money tell her

How long have you been seeing each other? The travel costs sound unavoidable, but could you do some cheaper activities (eg walks), perhaps a picnic…? A couple of months into dating someone I’d definitely still be keen for nice meals out and activities, but would probably also be inviting them over for dinner or for a trip to the beach, a walk somewhere, that kind of thing.

That’s why I only date people local to me. It’s such a faff when you add travel in. Split costs and if she won’t then you have your answer. She can come to you as well surely? If not this is what you’re signing up for long term so decide if that’s what you want.

Those activities would cost money no matter whom you are doing them with. I'm not sure what the alternative would be. Someone did suggest moving it into "sofa and Netflix" stage but I would rather spoon my eyes out than do that. Frankly, this is something I can do with my cat with far less effort.
Having said that, we do a lot of free activities like long hikes, museums, galleries, paddle boarding etc. If one of us arranges theatre tickets, the other would pay for drinks end/or driving there. We also alternate travelling to each other's houses.
Unless you live together, dating will always cost money. If you don't think it is sustainable, then you would probably need to accept that you are better off single.

My point is that it's expensive to date. That's all really. I'm not moaning about it but have noticed the cost increase exponentially in the last year or so.
And as PP have stated they only date local people rather than spend on travel costs.
Perhaps the dating dynamic is changing with the COL.

We all agree with you
Doing nice things is expensive
Yes