What have you learnt from losing your job?

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I have lost mine on Wednesday. I was a higher earner for 4 years, so it will be a shock to the system. I will spare you the obvious like budget ahead. These are my early learnings so far that came as a bit of surprise.

1. Document anything personal that you may ever need when leaving the job and get locked out of the systems. Screenshot or PDF any emails on your terms, promises, history of bonuses and safe them safely on your own devices. You think filing them is being organised. It’s no good if you are locked out of your company account.
2. Appreciate what you have. Every night I spend scrolling shopping sites, Instagram, Vogue etc for the next thing I “need”. It was just compensation for how miserable my work made me feel and excess money I never earned before, having grown up in very means constrained environment. I worn a vest and jeans for the last two days at home and I love that I have few really good things in my wardrobe. I can be happy with what I have for a long time, everything in my shopping list was just a dopamine fix.
3. Keep to usual routine in the immediate aftermaths. Fill working hours with inevitable admin / job search. Wash, eat, exercise, put your make up on, make room for normal conversations. It has really helped. Cry when you feel like it, I have dried up after 24 hours. Watch some comedy.
4. Tell only the people who will genuinely care. I have told only DH who has done a lot in the last two days to help me get a few practical things in place.

Would love to hear other experiences that may help me and others get through later stages of all stages of grief and potentially long job seeking. I will not deny feeling a little scared, never being unemployed before, I am 47 and worked since 16.

I’m sorry Op - this must be a shock

I think everyone will experience this differently based on their stage of life, career ambitions, family necessity. In my own case I took a pause. I tried to figure out what my next job would be. I was adamant that I wanted the right job (and had the luxury of being able to wait it out a bit). I really needed to stop my routine and get myself in the right headspace to apply for jobs as truthfully I wasn’t really happy in my former role but didn’t have the breathing space to do anything about it.

I will say that the ‘it’s unfair my colleagues kept their job’ or ‘they’ll miss me’ isn’t a good look... Be amicable as you never know who comes back around. save any venting for your partner / friends, not colleagues!

Number 1 will bells on. Especially if you part on bad terms. I had minutes to do this, and was the difference between having evidence vs my word only.

I don't have anything to really add. Acknowledge all of your feelings and be kind to yourself; it's perfectly reasonable to feel anger, sadness, even jealousy. But hope is free, and life is inherently good. Don't allow negative feelings to consume too much of your day, you've got 'work' to do!

This is all great advice. I’ve never lost my job, but I’ll be one of the first to go in the next round of redundancies. I hope I am brave enough to pivot to something completely different that better aligns to my hobbies and interests, and not jump straight back into the rat race for the money.

Best of luck, OP - if you can afford to, take some time out to think about what you really want to do. Do you have any savings you can live off while you figure things out?

I realised I loved not working and can easily fill my time with other, more interesting things.
But also that I need to pay bills (that wasn't new knowledge, to be fair.)

Thank you all for getting involved.

@Crushed23 Yes, I have savings and a very supportive DH, money in the short term is not an issue. I am a bit like @AbzMoz I am so burnt out by the last 6 months, when I was trying to please my new boss, manage the team, hit targets, job hunt and keep “normal” at home, that I have kind of lost clarity of what I am. I have enjoyed 2 busy days sorting out settlement agreement, personal car and lots of other admin with so much energy and drive, that it reminded me what “good work” feels like. I jumped out of bed before 6 am today, excited to research car insurance (I drove company car) and craft a negotiation on settlement amount etc.

And @AbzMoz I loved my colleagues, I have worked with some real grafters, there is only one person who wanted me out, the new manager. My head is racing with the evil plans to bring him down after I leave but the reality is that I will need to follow the contract term about confidentiality etc. Knowing my team and the market and what he is like, I am certain that he will lose his job within 12 months. I will watch from the distance, with quiet satisfaction.

I was made redundant from a job I loved and I did spend the last few weeks there emailing myself any personal documents and payslips etc. i didn’t leave on bad terms though so I guess I had time to do this.

I guess my advice would be to always keep your cv up to date in any role, and also keep an ongoing record of things you have done/ great pieces of work/projects etc. It’s so easy to forget. I wasn’t a manager, I was just an officer so I don’t have the glossy corporate cv, just evidence and examples of really good pieces of work and what I learned from them.

i’m very fortunate that I have secured a new job, I start on Monday, but I’m going back to being the new one and I’m not really looking forward to it. I’ve tried to keep myself away from the bitterness and negativity around the redundancy, 14 of us left and the place is in tatters. It’s made me realise that nothing is guaranteed, loyalty isn’t celebrated, and if you end up in a brilliant team just cherish it.

They say that people leave bad managers, not bad jobs & it’s so true (whether that’s through dismissal or on your own terms).

i haven’t got the sack as an adult but I did a couple of times as a teen in more casual jobs, and my DS did from a p/t job at uni recently. All manager-related. I also left my last job partly because a new manager started and she came in like a wrecking ball and wanted to change things from day 1 (not for the better).

it’s good you’re positive about the next stage & you have enough money to tide you over (and that you took evidence). Good luck!

@thenewaveragebear1983 Best of luck with your new job!

What I learned is that Britain is a shit hypocritical country driven by class, still driven by the elites from Conquest time, and that it really is a waste of effort trying to work hard when you are not born into wealth, especially as a girl/ woman. Men have life much easier.

My dsis told me something when I was let go as head of marketing for an IT company at the age of 58, despite having hit every target they had ever asked for. I was feeling down, that I might be too old to find another decent job.

She said "You've had a perfectly successful career for 35 years, and all those skills and experience haven't disappeared just because one person decides your face doesn't fit anymore."

She was right. 😊

Blimey @WaryCrow The patriarchy I can go along with, but harping back to the Normans and Saxons is stretching it a bit, don't you think.

I come from a free school meals family, and further back, from a long line of Wiltshire peasants but I've not noticed either getting in the way.

Sorry you're feeling down.

It was a long time ago, and I didn’t fully understand it until I was diagnosed with ADHD, but “You can’t force a square peg into a round hole” was my lesson.

Life became immeasurably better once I tuned my personal ecosystems (work, home, family, health etc) to fit me, rather than trying to stuff myself into systems that were a bad fit.

What a great post. I love that you have taken time to share tips for other people and you sound such a focussed and organised person I hope that is recognised by recruiters in your search.

I’m waiting for the next wave of redundancies in my organisation and it’s a good reminder to be prepared. I’m not ready!

@Bluegreenbird It’s scary to hear about all of the redundancies. Which sector are you.

One thing I do not know how to handle is financial support for DD (26, completing a PhD, so works long hours on low wage) and my elderly parents abroad. This comes up to £500 per month and occasionally more when they have big expenses. I will have to drop this but I feel dreadful about letting them down. They do not know yet.

Great post OP.
I took VR so happier circs in leaving a job, but agree with your first point. Its a very good habit to continuously copy crucial evidence to your personal devices. Even if no immediate redundancy situation. Locking out of company devices is swift even instant depending on your industry. Also keeping a generic cv up to date or just a log of training/achievements/evidence etc.

You also realise pretty quickly that you are just a number to be processed off the books.

Agree with be careful who you tell. When your fragile you don't need to see that glint of satisfaction from an envious acquaintance that you lost your role. Just support and tlc from good friends/family.

Take some time to just be, forget about the job search etc. Even if just for a weekend. Yes bills need to be paid but a day or two off at least from the initial search gives time to regroup, think about next steps rather than panic applying.

Find support in surprising places. There was a colleague (big dept) in my old role. We never clicked at work nor were particularly friendly but I took VR from a role I'd come to hate. Months later she was made redundant but loved her role so it was a shock. We've both been cheerleading each other. Surprising turn of events but nice.

All the best OP. You have a long work history and should find something again soon.

I was sacked (PIP, Settlement agreement,) from a senior job last year. Big blow to self esteem - don't think I even got told off at school, too much of a goody two shoes.

Helped in my wife's own business for a few weeks, then got a new (more junior) job.

55 this year.

Not sure I can be arsed with corporate ladder climbing again.

I do my work dilligently, but, I genuinely don't care if the venture capital firm that owns us "hits budget" or not, and I leave at 4:30 on the dot.

It helps that (only) DD is now at uni so bills are probably a bit less, even though we pay towards rent etc.

I do feel a bit bitter, and that we are told a lie about "careers" but I am also learning to give less fucks..it's taking a while.

I realise I defined too much of my personality by my job "I'm a Chief Finance Officer" etc.

I would say take a good pause and think about what you really like and want. I was made redundant from a very snr role and immediately tried to find something similar. Luckily for me (although I didn't see it like that) the jobs market is an odd place right now. The recruitment landscape has changed since 2020. Linkedin is full of ghost jobs, businesses have learnt the trick of posting multiple roles for cv harvesting and to boost the perception of growth so a lot of jobs aren't real. AI has done some very odd things to the process. AI writes the JD, another AI assess applications based upon set criteria like number of years active, set phrases, set qualifications and rejections will hit 20 mins after you apply so you know no human saw your application. CVs are written by AI and then that's sensed so also rejected, by AI. Its all very warped. Your personal network is more important than ever now so focus very hard on that and not direct application.

Anyway the point is take a pause. After 6 months in which I did lots of things for me, I took a much more junior role in a smaller more tech company and having managed lots of people now manage no one and can walk to work and work from home as I choose. The kids and home is calm and I don't get the Sunday scaries any more. Good luck

Realise that however much you have given to the company and thought you had been dedicated to them etc., the moment you stop being useful to them, you are nothing and they will get rid of you.

I’m still bitter as you can see! Even though in the long run it was for the best.

I agree with this. I worked in the same place for 30 years, rising to a senior position. I thought I meant something to the organisation, but quickly realised that I only meant something to my immediate colleagues. To the wider organisation and hierarchy, I was completely dispensable and they even tried to screw me out of some of my settlement. There was no consideration for my decades of loyal service. It was actually quite shocking and changed my attitude to work going forward in that I am less inclined to show goodwill to an employer over and above what I am paid to do.