Planning a 13th birthday pool party and feeling out of my depth, help!

[Fuschialily]

Trying to plan a pool party for my dd 13th. I don’t do party’s and I’m pretty scared about the whole thing. I thought I could do it all myself and now I’m slightly panicking. Party is planned for 3-6

mostly about food and entertainment.
the food part scares me because they all seem to eat soooo much. Plus I’ll definitely be hosting at least 10 adults as I live out the way and most of the time the parents stay to avoid driving more.

Does this sound like a plan?:

party starts at 3, all (soft) drinks available now and throughout the party . Pool open

3:30pm snacky food like cocktail stick snacks plus some fruit out

5pm bbq buffet with rice, fried chicken, burgers, chips and salad
pool off limits so time to dry off (what now?!)

Just before 6 pm cake and hope to encourage them all to leave at this point. Doubt that will happen though…

Should I buy in wine and beer for the adults?
Any suggestions welcome, especially for entertaining them!

Is your pool indoor or outdoor? Is it heated? Are you in the UK? If so think of a contingency plan for the weather! I’d say at 13 they really won’t want you to plan too much. Do you have balls/inflatables/water guns that can be used in the pool? Just provide food and drink and get your dd to make a playlist. If you want an organised activity, ring donuts on a string that they race to eat without hands usually goes down well.

This. At 13 DD very much planned her own birthday parties - I was just the facilitator (and cash bearer…). Simple is best and that age group don’t like rigid planning or a huge amount of parental involvement. The best parties were sleepovers or ones where they just chilled in a friend’s hot tub & entertained themselves!

It's 3 hours, with a main meal provided 2 hours in. You really don't need to provide snacks before this! You risk the food at 5 wasting if you do.

You will struggle to tell 13yr olds that they can't go in the pool at .5pm due to a buffet. Seems a bit rigid.

Is the pool at your house? What about girls who can't/won't get in the water?

(I would have felt really self conscious being in a swimsuit at that age, around peers and people's parents)
Your daughter can think of things to do for the last hour, it'll be nice for her to plan and organise it.

Could your DD not just invite her friends over and they entertain themselves.
Provide the bbq but honestly I’d just let them get on with it themselves at 13

It sounds very formal for a 13th birthday party. Can you have some form of buffet food they can eat when they want during the party? Then you can just leave them to it for the 3 hours.

Do you have to host the adults? Surely they wouldn’t just expect it? How far away from the others are you?

Another thought, I think you’re over complicating the food. If you are going to bbq, bbq! You don’t need fried chicken, rice and chips (unless by chips you mean what we in the uk call crisps, which would be good if serving as a snack on the table with drinks).

Can’t comment about your question, but was your title deliberate? Ie. Pools and being out of your depth?

You literally just need to lay some drinks out, order dominoes and leave them to it. I doubt parents are going to stay for a 13 year olds party. Sure they can entertain themselves at a local pub. Why is the pool off limits come 5? Surely if they want food they will get out and if they don’t they can just carry on enjoying the pool?

@Fuschialily it sounds great, I’d just add some inflatables - lilos and beach balls etc… + DD to arrange the music. Then leave them to it.

You could add a piñata (maybe that says 13 on it!) full of sweets, for a bit of extra fun and to finish the party, they could then take home all the sweets!

I wouldn’t bother with wine for the adults, as they have to drive home. Just have tea, coffee and soft drinks available.

Is the pool at your own house? Check the swimming abilities of all invited and make sure you have adults who can swim well to help.

I had a party at public pool for DD when she was 8.
In many ways it was the easiest party ever as the pool did food and had two attendants managing the kids.
But one little girl had been dropped off to my house early as parents had to visit a relative in hospital. It would have been helpful if they had told SHE COULDN’T SWIM!!!
They started off playing ball in the shallow end and I noticed she wasn’t moving well in the water. Then the attendants suggested heading to the deep end for some jumping in. I said to the little girl “Are you OK in the deep end?” and she said “Well it’s just that I can’t swim”.
No problem, all managed safely but I was cross the parents had neglected to tell me in advance.

Far, far worse - DH rescued a child who absolutely would have drowned during a pool party at the local public pool. Nothing to do with us but he had watched the child go down a bouncy slide that had been set up and saw that she didn’t come back up. Lifeguard looking the other way and hadn’t seen.
The mother of the birthday child wasn’t even in the pool, she was in the spectator area, I saw them later in the changing room. She has no idea how nearly the party could have ended horribly.

I would probably do a more “buffet”’style bbq where they can eat as they fancy it rather than having a sit down thing at a set time as sods law they’ll just get into some great game and you’ll have to break it up. Otherwise I would leave them to it.

The time will go really quickly but don’t sweat it. If they all end up coming out and watching a movie or something instead, just go with it.

Thanks for all the replies sorry I left the thread I’ve had a lot on. Yes the pool is at my house it’s heated and we have a large pool house area to sit in if it rains. I think from the replies on here I’m over thinking things. We live in the middle of nowhere so parents often stay when their dc come over probably because we always supply food and drinks haha