Has anyone gone no contact with their mother in law or sister in law?

[Wheredidtheweathergo]

How many ladies here have gone NC or are atleast keeping a distance from your MIL or SIL? How much did you tolerate before making that decision? What did they do to you? My own mother was very low contact with my granny, but it was not called “NC” she just did not go over there and let Dad facilitate all contact. Although granny kept pestering her on the landline and still managed to cause untold amount of stress for my poor mum. Im no contact with my own in-laws (SIL and MIL) after years of givibg and giving only to find out how poorly they had been talking about me all along, the lies and false assumptions that had been made and the final conversation of screaming swearing and shouting accusations down the phone.

I’m low contact with MIL as she’s a narcissist who has been rude about my children, her grandchildren, she’s called my beautiful son ugly, he was only 6-7 years old and she told him the cat ran away because he saw ‘your ugly face looking at him’ similar time she berated my DD12 for having a bit of extra puppy fat … I rarely visit now, my kids and DH rarely visit but I’ll often stay home …. I cannot be doing with it! She’s been told and just denies of course typical for a narc

I'm NC with my SIL - she systematically helped herself to MIL's money over the years (we're talking 6 figures, so not a small amount) while she was 'looking after' her finances. There's loads to the story, but suffice to say neither DH nor I speak to her, and she can rot in hell as far as I'm concerned

I spent 8 years staying quiet while my SiL treated me like shit. I finally had enough and stood up for myself, and we had a huge row. She then rang Dh who refused to back her up. Been 21 years now and she has never spoken to us again. Sadly MiL sided with her and has nothing to do with us. It is sad particularly as there are now children involved who’ve never met cousins, and extended family.

Not NC but very very low lc. It's sad, she's just got no interest in our kids at all but will then appear and act the doting grandmother and it's so unfair on them.

We were NC with MIL for a number of years. We meaning me and dc. Dh was LC. MIL’s partner is a convicted paedophile, spent 3 years in prison for abusing his niece. The whole family conspired to keep this from Dh and I. I mean like secret family meetings and all. We are the only ones in the family with children. As soon as we found out, dc and I went NC with both of them. It was non-negotiable.

We have only limited contact now that dc are older (dc never left alone with MIL) and obviously we have nothing to do with her partner. We don’t go to family events where they are both present. We won’t go to MIL’s house (tbf, she doesn’t invite us!). It’s a very formal relationship.

The only reason I have any contact with her again is that she really genuinely believes he is innocent. 🙄 While that is a complete load of bullshit, she does believe sexual abuse is wrong and would be horrified to think he actually did it (even though he did). I don’t believe she poses a risk to my dc now, so we see her in certain circumstances now a few ta year. During those NC years, Dh kept in touch with her by phone and messaging and may have met her for lunch a few times. Honestly, he’d rather poke his own eye out than spend any time alone with his mother, so he didn’t really have any interest in seeing her without me, so he just sort of avoided her. That’s the sort of relationship they have.

If you can believe it, my mum is also married to a convicted paedophile. Clare’s Law on these men you meet online dating in your 50s ladies! We are completely NC with her and her partner. The difference is that she knows he abused the child he is convicted of abusing. He told her on their first date. 😳 But she thinks it’s okay because he says he won’t do it again (he has) and definitely not to my children (he’s not been given the chance, thanks!). She is not a safe person to have around my children, so we have no relationship with her at all in anyway. She doesn’t even know where we live. Despite how completely f-ed up our families are though, Dh and I are super normal, with healthy boundaries and no major dysfunctions! 🤣

I think the tricky part about MiL is that Dh would really like it if I carried that relationship for all of us. So because there is distance there now, he is a bit of a duck out of water having to organise activities with his own mum and talk to her and spend time with her. I do not carry that for him at all. I leave him to sort it and have to entertain her.

NC with SIL for 3-4 years now. Our lives are infinitely better for it. Now that she has nothing on us that she can twist and use to shit-stir with wider family, our relationship with other family members is better than ever.

Basically NC with my SILs. I do see my MIL but keep her at a distance. My SILs were actively unpleasant to me too many times and MIL was just a bit ignorant. I tolerate her for DH as she isn't an evil person, just a bit obtuse and not someone I would naturally gel with.

Absolutely no regrets at all. Not one. DH does see his sisters (well one lives abroad but he facetimes her) and I'm happy he has a good relationship with them. But I don't want any relationship with them, and he respects my decision

Are you married to Dh’s brother 🤣

exactly the same here. Not just a bit here and there, emptied their bank accounts every month while telling them they had no money. Over 100k in the last 3 years. That we know about. In hindsight their lifestyle has been well below their income for the last 25 years, we just thought they were living on state pension. Turns out they had huge final salary pensions as well.

also got their wills changed.

so yeah, don’t speak to her and neither does dh. Never really got on with her so no great loss.

No, but I’m a bit baffled by why you’d need to. I mean, how often were you seeing them before you stopped contact?

I’m very fond of several of my SILs who live nearby, but I’ve only seen one of them for more than a few minutes since Christmas. I’m also quite fond of PILs, but I only see them weekly or fortnightly for a few minutes. DH sees them far more regularly.

When our dc was born premature mil was over the moon dh could accompany her and fil on their annual trip..
Dh refused. Mil never forgave him. She snubbed our dc and haven't seen her for over a decade..

This, relentless bullying, mind games, snide comments and control from SIL, telling me what i should do with my own children. Finally pointing out how horrible she had been and asked her one time not to speak to me so aggressively- cue the lies, accusations and trying to ruin me for daring to stand up for myself!