What the hell do I do in this situation?

[ShoppingismyNemesis]

Changed my name as this is potentially very outing.

A friend of mine has been cheated on by their husband, who I am also friends with. He’s an idiot who has clearly messed things up royally. I’m so sad for her, but selfishly, I’m also sad for us too.

We have been a tight knit friendship group for about 7 years, and have celebrated and commiserated over our lives events together for so long. We live in a small place, so it’s inevitable that we will bump into each other. He’s going off with the other woman, their marriage is over, so that’s that then. No more nights in the pub, no more cosy nights in easy company. I have other friends, it’s not that, but it had been an easy, happy place. I feel a bit daft believing him when he said he was too busy with work to meet up in recent months, when it turns out he was too busy shagging someone else. I detest liars, so that’s done it for me too, because he was a very good liar, getting sympathy for his horrible manager getting him to do projects at the weekend🙄😬. I am so sad for his lovely wife.

Have gone off on a ramble, sorry. Anyone else watched their friendship group crumble in front of their eyes? 😔

Give your female friend your support and still include her. Just because he's a arse doesn't mean everything has to change. I've read so many stories about widowed or divorced women being dropped by friends it's horrible and a double blow for the women affected.

I have been very present and supportive of his wife, she is the most wonderful person and friend.

Ah OP I feel for you I really do. It’s just shit - your whole friend group changes when you didn’t want it to and you couldn’t influence it at all.

Happened to me recently. Was very comfortable in a friend group of 7 formed out of the school friends of DH and partners (one single).

One couple where I was very close to the woman partner split up just before Christmas last year and she has moved back to her parents and distanced herself. Male partner (original friend of DHs) has a new “serious” GF already and wants us all to be besties with her as if nothing happened. I have nothing against the new woman but I don’t know her, and I miss my friend.

It's shitty when this happens 😕 it happened in my parents friendship group, one of the wives had an affair with one of the friend's husbands and they went off together leaving two devastated partners. It caused so much upset, especially as they thought members of the group should still be friends with them!

I would just concentrate on supporting your friend and making sure she's not left out because she's no longer part of a couple, that happens a lot.

No more nights in the pub, no more cosy nights in easy company.

Well, there'll be one less person but otherwise carry on as you were. I understand the change is discombobulating but a new normal will soon get established.

As sad and upsetting it is for you, it will be much worse for the wife who has been left so, as a PP says, just be sure to be there for her & include her in the "cosy pub nights' still.

What's really sad is that this isn't outing at all. It happens all the time and it shouldn't.

Have had this scenario, they are now divorced. He was my friend at work before her. We had a long friendship of 20 years. We have remained friends with her only. We are having nothing to do with him.

To add they were part of a couple friends friendship group with people in the small village they live in and those couple friends have decided to welcome the OW in to the friendship group so the wife has been excluded. She is never invited to anything and hasn’t seen them for a couple of years.