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Original poster

Struggling

7 replies

Tealover11 · 08/04/2026 18:49

Hi guys just really wanted to vent off and just need some kind words. I recently broke up with my partner, originally I was the dumper. The reason for me dumping him was his lack of support and just going out all hours switching his phone off and leaving me having no clue where he was . He did try and win me back for 2 weeks but his efforts weren’t great and I told him I wanted to see some change as they was just words. During this time he’s done a complete 360 and has been blowing hot and cold. Blocking me and making me the problem for expecting to much.

Now here is the tricky part I am 18 weeks pregnant with his child, he doesn’t seem to really be fussed about the pregnancy( hasn’t even mentioned it) and we already have a 9 year old daughter. He is meant to have set days seeing his daughter which he doesn’t seem to be consistent with some weeks he won’t see her at all. I am not sure why I am writing this post but I am really sad , I’m pregnant I feel so alone - this baby is very much wanted my end however I feel so stuck and alone. I feel like I have been left with all parental responsibilities, and trying to cope aswell as dealing with pregnancy hormones. It’s really hard my reasons for originally finishing with him weren’t because I stopped loving him, I love him very much this is why it’s so hard. I just needed more support and help from this man and i wanted to take an action to show him that I’m not prepared to keep doing this alone. However I feel like since then it’s all got worse and I’m just in a very bad place mentally . We are both 37 and do not live together. Sorry for the long post just need a safe place to vent.

OP posts:
AintNoPunshineWhenShesGone · 08/04/2026 18:56

I feel like I have been left with all parental responsibilities, and trying to cope aswell as dealing with pregnancy hormones.

And soon you'll be left with all parental responsibilities, a newborn, a 9 year old and post birth hormones.

He's not going to change so I suppose the best you can do now is accept that and go it alone.

At least it'll be one less thing to worry about.

aintnothinbutagstring · 08/04/2026 19:19

I was surprised when I come to the end and it said you're both 37 yet don't live together? It doesn't sound like a mature adult relationships - sounds like you're both playing at being boyfriend and girlfriend. I'd be more focussed on creating stability for 9yr old daughter and securing regular contact with her father but not pursuing any further romantic relations with him. He doesn't such much like father material to be honest.

momager22 · 08/04/2026 19:20

You’re going to be a single parent and you can’t rely on him.
do you have any support from family/ friends ?

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Original poster
Tealover11 · 08/04/2026 19:35

momager22 · 08/04/2026 19:20

You’re going to be a single parent and you can’t rely on him.
do you have any support from family/ friends ?

I do have my mum and my friends . It’s just so many things to process at the moment . Yes being a single, doing this pregnancy on my own and also dealing with the end of a relationship

OP posts:
OhRight7 · 08/04/2026 20:29

There is a lot going on for you right now. This must be so incredibly painful and overwhelming. I think you’ve done the right thing by leaving him, he offers you no level of support or security. Obviously preparing yourself for being a single parent, especially with a new baby on the way must be very daunting. But I promise you, the hard days that may come up when juggling it all will be no where near as hard as if you were juggling it all anyway but with him there letting you down and making you feel worse for expecting him to do what he should be doing as a partner and father. He is a pathetic excuse for a man. I’m a single parent and yes it’s overwhelming at times juggling so much, but life became so much easier when I freed myself from his father and I have no regrets on becoming a single parent. Im stronger for it… And you will be too.
I think for now, focus on getting the support you need to help you emotionally through this transition, from your family and also therapy if you have that available through work/GP etc. And maybe talk to your midwife to see what support is available for you. There is no shame in asking for help, you’re going through a lot and in order for you to be in the best possible position emotionally to handle life as a single parent to 2 kids, getting help now will prepare you for that as much as possible. Think of it as building the foundations of the new life that’s to come. And then when you feel a bit more stable with the circumstances, you can start working towards practical steps of handling life as a single parent and also all that comes with a new baby.
I know it’s very hard now, and it may be a while before you see the light at the end of the tunnel, but you can and will get through it. Your kids need you to be the happiest version of you, leaving that arsehole is the first step to freeing yourself from things that get in your way of being happy.

Original poster
Tealover11 · 08/04/2026 20:32

OhRight7 · 08/04/2026 20:29

There is a lot going on for you right now. This must be so incredibly painful and overwhelming. I think you’ve done the right thing by leaving him, he offers you no level of support or security. Obviously preparing yourself for being a single parent, especially with a new baby on the way must be very daunting. But I promise you, the hard days that may come up when juggling it all will be no where near as hard as if you were juggling it all anyway but with him there letting you down and making you feel worse for expecting him to do what he should be doing as a partner and father. He is a pathetic excuse for a man. I’m a single parent and yes it’s overwhelming at times juggling so much, but life became so much easier when I freed myself from his father and I have no regrets on becoming a single parent. Im stronger for it… And you will be too.
I think for now, focus on getting the support you need to help you emotionally through this transition, from your family and also therapy if you have that available through work/GP etc. And maybe talk to your midwife to see what support is available for you. There is no shame in asking for help, you’re going through a lot and in order for you to be in the best possible position emotionally to handle life as a single parent to 2 kids, getting help now will prepare you for that as much as possible. Think of it as building the foundations of the new life that’s to come. And then when you feel a bit more stable with the circumstances, you can start working towards practical steps of handling life as a single parent and also all that comes with a new baby.
I know it’s very hard now, and it may be a while before you see the light at the end of the tunnel, but you can and will get through it. Your kids need you to be the happiest version of you, leaving that arsehole is the first step to freeing yourself from things that get in your way of being happy.

Thank you so much for your words. I really needed to read that. I am seeing my midwife on Friday so I am going to speak to her , and see if there is any support they point me in the direction of. I know you’re right in the long run I will be so much better, just extremely hard at the moment but I know I will be ok. X

OP posts:
OhRight7 · 08/04/2026 20:43

Thats right, you will be ok. Cry when you need to cry, then you remind yourself that you’ve got this. Everything will work out in the end. Keep going, one day at a time ♥️ x

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