I feel sad that my sister is the favourite

[Owwmumo1]

It’s been clear for the last 10 years or so that my mum is closer to my sister. They have more in common, live closer and so see each other more often. Some friends have noticed too as my mum always posts gushing birthday messages to my sister on FB about how amazing, funny and strong she is and I get “Happy Birthday, love me and dad”. I know FB isn’t real but it’s a bit embarrassing and a couple of friends have noticed.
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Yesterday we all got together for Easter and my mum had bought eggs for the kids, my sister and brother in law but had forgotten me. She did go out and manage to get one at a petrol station - I did tell her it wasn’t necessary as I’m an adult but honestly, it did make me feel a bit shit. I’d done an hour round trip to buy part of the main meal and made a dessert whilst my sister hadn’t contributed at all. This also happens every Christmas where I bring food and bake nice things and my sister brings “the vibes”.

I don’t really know what I want from this post, I just feel really down about it all. I do try not to let it get to me because I’m an adult and it all sounds really petty but I struggle a bit because I’m widowed so don’t have anyone to talk to about it all.
People will suggest I talk to her about it but how would I even open that conversation?

You really need to talk to her. This is so hard and totally unthoughtful. It might make her feel upset but she is making you feel far worse with her actions. I’m also surprised your sister hasn’t said something to her. I’d be embarrassed if I was her and feel uncomfortable.

I think you should talk to your mum about how this made you feel. Your last post suggests that she would be upset if she realised how hurt you were, and I think maybe she needs to understand that her actions have consequences.

My mum would be upset if she knew how much this has got to me.

But you're upset by it - that matters. You're buying into the idea that you can cope and so it's more important to avoid upsetting your mum. As @Winglessvulture said above, perhaps she needs to understand that. If she knows about the impact, there is a chance for her to change this.

I would also stop bringing things for meals. Say you won't have time and could sister get them? It doesn't have to be harsh to push back against lopsided expectations.

It was always obvious who was my Mothers favourite. There was the 5 of us who were not favoured who discussed it and at length as we got older. The two of us who had moved away accepted it, the others didn’t. When my Mother left here entire estate to her favourite myself and the other sister who accepted it for what it was were ok. The other three suffered mentally and one sister came close to a breakdown. I had gone a little low contact and the other accepting sister was close to no contact, the other three ran around after her and the favoured one did as well but reluctantly.

'My mum would be upset if she knew how much this has got to me.'

Why does her upset matter more than yours? You need to talk to her. (And I can't see how she 'forgot' to buy you an Easter egg when she remembered to buy some for other people either)

Yeah. Mine was recently scrabbling around the house for things to give to my sister and blanking me if I said I liked the same things. Apparently she doesn’t worry about me but my sister needs help. Fortunately sister and I have a good relationship where we understand this and mother now demented

This is not ok, I would call it out and hopefully the behaviour changes .