What age to get the bus to local town with friends?

[CeeJay81]

What age would you let your dd go with friends to the local town, if it was 18 miles away(35 to 45 mins by public transport)? DD nearly 12 is asking when she can go. I'm thinking this Summer but DH isn't so sure, making me me thinking im being irresponsible. Its a small very rural town, about as far away from a big city as you can get. Yes 18 miles away is local to us because we live in rural Wales.

Just wondering what others think is reasonable?

I think the summer sounds fine if she’s with friends (assuming she is sensible and has a phone with her).

Sounds reasonable if she's sensible, stays with friends and responds to messages when messaged or rang etc. I think a lot changes as they get to secondary school age. I think mine were roughly that age, maybe a year older.

Secondary school age. With a phone.

I hovered nearby during DCs first day out, unbeknownst to him!

Y7 as lots of kids get the bus to school at that age

If she is familiar with the town, and used to getting buses, I think that would be fine. I would prefer it if they were going for something specific - cinema, lunch etc rather than just hanging around, and I would expect them back at or before a certain, agreed time.

Secondary school age if it’s a different town, so 11-12.

Our local big town is also 18 miles away (as is Edinburgh roughly actually) but we let dd2 from 10/11ish onwards to the town, Edinburgh from 12/13ish, shes a very sensible kid who will always phone if in doubt. Dd1 probably didn't go anywhere out of choice until she was 15ish. Our youngest two are 11 and there's not a chance with that pair, ds can be very impulsive and dd claims she doesn't know the way to her friends, on the same street.

I grew up with largely absent parents due to my dad having a bad accident when I was 6 and in hospital for a long time, mum working, so we were using the bus to travel the 10 or 20 miles to relatives after school everyday. I was away to my grandparents 10 miles away every weekend at 8ish and shopping in Dundee 30 miles away at 10ish.

Id say, give her the freedom, she'll be at high school this year or last year? Time to grow up and learn independence.

One of mine is 12.5 and she has been going to 2 local towns with friends (one on bus, one train) for about 6 months... As pp said once they're in secondary school they have to travel independently anyway.

I think it's good for them as long as they know to take a phone/be back certain time etc

Both of mine started doing this when the went to high school so age 11

Does she travel on buses with you? Does she know how to pay? Where to get off? Where to find the bus back home? Does she know her way around the town? Will her friend group stick together? Is she confident enough to deal with any unwanted attention? Does she know not to engage with the drunks, druggies or oddballs? Does she know your phone number in case her phone battery dies? Does she keep an emergency tenner somewhere safe? Does she know not to go to the rough end of town?

At 11 we'd let DD go to town (our local 'town' is a fairly large city) with her mates and one or two of us parents. We'd have a coffee or a meal, the girls would do their thing. We'd meet up and come home together. We let them handle the buses themselves. We were just available if we were needed. We weren't needed. But us parents felt better about it and when the went in by themselves, we felt confident they'd be fine

Thanks for the quick replies. Yes, most likely will go to the Cinema. She has got both the bus/train many times with us before and also has a mobile phone, which my DH has a tracker on. I think I'll tell her she can go this Summer. Just need to convince DH to agree with me.

Sounds fine to me. My 10yr old gets the bus around locally and I’d be happy with her going further by next year. She’s sensible.

I still watch the kids like hawks on life360, it's a bloody lifesaver!

So your dd is already in year 7? Then I’d be fine with that now. That said, I send dd to school in the next town over via the public train so I’m a bit more relaxed about using public transport without me.

My eldest started doing it in year 7, it’s about 25 mins on the bus, 15 mins drive if they get stuck and they all have phones too.

I usede to catch the bus and then the train to sheffield when I was 15.

I was crossing the city by public transport from age 10. No mobile phones back then (1950s).

We used to get the bus into Cambridge when we were early teens, so we could spend our saved up Saturday money and get some clothes. I’m thinking we may have been about 12 or 13? And we didn’t have phones.