Great advice to your younger self thread

[NeedingASafeSpace]

Let’s start a thread with what we would tell our younger self and just maybe it will help someone out?
everyone welcome.
I will go first…

just become you come from a nice home doesn’t mean you’ll be handed one.
You have to work for yours. Save up money from the day you begin work!
Chat

Don't get fat.

Fairy tales are wrong there is no Prince Charming coming - better to be happy single travel the world , than date man child’s because it’s what society/ the world thinks you should do.

You are not a failure for not coupling up - I look back at photos of myself in 20’s snd 30’s and see a sad girl …. How I could shake her and tell her single is ok !!

You don't need a man or children to be happy and fulfilled

Stop worrying about how you could never introduce your various friends to each other, as they all had different interests and different personalities.

90% of people gradually learn to socialise with people unlike themselves.
The fewer group of people that can’t, probably will avoid larger social groups anyway and you will just keep in touch separately…

For fuck’s sake stay single.

Drop this thing that has been sold to you as a 'career' and change before it's too late and you are so behind. It will lead to poor mental health as well as poor physical health. You are NOT tied in.

You will make it. You will have a future. Plan and act accordingly now.

Do not settle for a 'decent' man.

Don't be so trusting regarding money.

Move far from your mum. Just because you were unlucky to have her as a mum, doesn't mean she has to affect you for life. She will live a very long time.
Marry the same man, but get him to have regular health checks from age 40

I think working harder at school to get those high marks. Due to the school system in the Netherlands where I grew up I still got quite far, but I could have been much more successful at this stage with a more solid foundation.

I never settled for a man and had them follow me instead of me changing my path for them and definitely do not regret that. There is one who got away and if I would have known at the time I would have made an exception for him.

Preach!! The years I wasted on shite men. Not one of them deserved me or my time.

Have higher standards for your relationships

1. The word, “No”, hasn’t been encouraged at home, but it’s a very useful word to use at times.
2. Speak up about what’s going on at home, because it’s not normal.
3. Stand up for yourself, even if it means getting into trouble for punching the bullies that your school tolerates. Ignoring them, as you were told to do, won’t make them leave you alone. It just makes you a sitting target.
4. Pointedly remind people to look you in the eye when you’re having a conversation, rather than putting up with them staring in horrified fascination at the facial difference that you wish that you could hide. They’re being very rude, and allowing them to stare isn’t going to encourage them to accept people’s differences.
5. Move away from that school. It is the best school, academically, in the local area, and your older sibling loved it, but it’s poisonous for you. The damage that school will do to you means that you can’t even drive past it, years later, on a driving lesson without having a panic attack.
6. Conforming isn’t your strong point, poppet, so give it up as a bad job now. Be weird and wonderful, and you’ll be a lot happier for it.
7. Do NOT give in to the family pressure to waste years of your life studying A-Levels, a degree, and getting a ‘proper’ job. Find a way to get to the college that you want to go to, study what you want, and get a job doing something that interests you. It doesn’t matter if they view you as the family failure. You’re not a failure- you’re just different… and funnily enough, some of them will respect you for your choices, and say that you did the right thing, later on.
8. It’s fine to be single. Remember how, as a small child, you always questioned why the princesses had to wait around to be rescued by Prince Charming? You don’t need Prince Charming, because you’re going to make it on your own.