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Original poster

So ashamed of teeth

31 replies

FlowersAndRainyDays · 02/04/2026 15:03

Over the years I’ve seriously neglected my teeth in many ways. I’m now 37 and it’s all coming back to bite me and I am so, so ashamed

A tooth fell out last week, no prior warning just fell out as I was eating. I haven’t see a dentist in 4 years due to the feeling of shame. Made an appointment (private dentist, not a single NHS dentist is taking in a 20 mile radius). After a few scans and a lot of crying, I need 4 teeth removed. I had 2 removed yesterday (awful experience, cost £500 due to the complexity of removing them) and need at least 2 more. The dentist has discussed implants, at £2500 a pop, I need 4. I do not have that kind of money at all. I have noticed today one of my front teeth is slightly chipped, I’m assuming this happened yesterday when my other tooth was being removed (it was quite a hard removal). It’s luckily only noticeable if you’re looking really close. I have a bit of decay on other teeth.

I am so ashamed. To the point it is making me feel physically ill. I am embarrassed and it makes me feel dirty and like everyone is judging me.

not sure what I want from this, I just feel I can’t talk to anyone about this with such a stigma.

OP posts:

WarmHare · 02/04/2026 15:19

Are the 4 implants you need all visible teeth, just thinking is it possible to only have implants on front teeth?

Did the dentist discuss payment plans?

I’m not usually one to encourage to people to go into debt, but would a bank loan or a loan from a family member be possible?

Original poster

FlowersAndRainyDays · 02/04/2026 15:35

They are 2 side top side teeth (either side) and 2 on the left side of my bottom teeth. The chipped tooth is my very front one, I’m not sure it did happen yesterday at the dentist but it wasn’t therein the morning and I haven’t eaten anything since so must have happened at the dentist. I’ve had a look at my finances and I think I can afford to have 1 done (that’s with a loan over 3 years). My dentist does offer finance but has to be paid back over 2 years maximum, if I had all 4 implants that would be £416 repayment per month for 2 years which there’s no way I can afford. I do have a credit card I could put the balance on but the 0% is 23 months so again, over 24 months.

it’s just such a mess! I have a good job, active social life etc and I feel like my teeth just let me down so I know I need to get them sorted one way or the other. I’m supposed to start saving for a house this year so need to be sensible money wise but it’s just so bloody expensive!

OP posts:

WarmHare · 02/04/2026 15:51

If your credit is good, a reputable bank will provide a loan, with a lover repayment period of 24 months… is that an option?

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Dental health

Abcdgse · 02/04/2026 15:57

@FlowersAndRainyDays in just wondering what are the rest of your teeth like? Reason I ask is if you were able to get implants. Is it likely other teeth fall out and then thats another implant then another. And so on. ?

Original poster

FlowersAndRainyDays · 02/04/2026 16:08

My credit is excellent so I can get a loan for the full amount with no problem but there’s interest on top but at least I have a more manageable time to pay it off

Currently there’s no concerns with the other teeth (apart from the ones mentioned). He showed me the 3d xray and explained everything, visually they aren’t the best but no current risk of them coming out as far as I’m aware but who knows I suppose

OP posts:

Fiddlesticks1 · 02/04/2026 16:11

FlowersAndRainyDays · 02/04/2026 16:08

My credit is excellent so I can get a loan for the full amount with no problem but there’s interest on top but at least I have a more manageable time to pay it off

Take out an interest free credit card over two years.

Chewbecca · 02/04/2026 16:14

Ouch, poor you.
Like PPs, I would borrow if I could to get implants. Maybe shop around too?

Do you smoke? It's a big contributor to gum damage leading to loose teeth so if you do, stopping would help prevent more damage enormously.

2dogsandabudgie · 02/04/2026 16:15

Honestly don't be ashamed. Could you look at partial dentures if it's just for 2 teeth at the top and bottom. That is a cheaper option. The problem with gaps in teeth is that the teeth next to the gap tend to move slightly if the gap is left unfilled.

Abcdgse · 02/04/2026 16:22

@FlowersAndRainyDays look at Maryland bridge.

Original poster

FlowersAndRainyDays · 02/04/2026 16:22

No I don’t smoke and never have so that’s one plus point!

I think I’m going have to borrow the money and just pay it off over 5 years (but try and pay it off earlier if possible, I can take over time at work etc. and then maybe look at some kind of composite bonding.

I’ve looked at pricing online and it seems to be about right but I’ll have a proper look tonight. The dentist was really nice but he was a bit scathing about dentures and also being 37, the absolute shame of needing a denture is sending me spiralling

OP posts:

albhub · 02/04/2026 16:25

Why did the tooth fall out?
If it's because of periodontal disease then that needs to be investigated and treated because the implants might not hold.
What did the dentist say about it?

Can you tell the dentist you can't afford the implants and ask for alternative treatment plans? Is a bridge or a partial denture an option? Did the dentist not suggest an alternative?
Or maybe go somewhere else for a second opinion?

It's all very well them suggesting implants but they cost a fortune, not everyone can afford them and your dental hygiene has to be absolutely scrupulous otherwise they can fail.

Ohpleeeease · 02/04/2026 16:25

Has your dentist talked to you about a partial denture? Implants are the luxury option but there are other options if funds are tight. I would also look into having implants done abroad as they are very much cheaper.

BreakingBroken · 02/04/2026 16:26

Teeth don’t just “fall out” are you not brushing flossing along with no smoking?
I ask because implants fail, you need to use a water flosser and maintain meticulous gum health with implants.

Original poster

FlowersAndRainyDays · 02/04/2026 16:32

maybe fell out was the wrong phrase, I bit down on something hard and it broke the whole tooth basically, it wasn’t loose or anything prior but it broke so far down the dentist said it was impossible to put a crown on or repair. I brush twice daily but I think prior neglect (I was severely depressed for a long time and self neglect was a bit part of this) plus a lot of sugary drinks/snacks has caused these issues. I had neglectful parents and didn’t see a dentist much in my childhood so it’s just a pattern from there I suppose

I didn’t previously floss but have started in the last couple of weeks, probably too little too late but I can but try.

OP posts:

Ohpleeeease · 02/04/2026 16:41

It is absolutely possible to save your teeth OP. Ask your dentist to do everything to preserve those you have, and to advise you on how to look after them in future. Don’t immediately be talked into the most expensive option. Dentists and vets are never poor.

Original poster

FlowersAndRainyDays · 02/04/2026 16:46

Thank You! My partner has said to maybe go to another dentist for a second opinion, the dentist himself was lovely but I would say very much a salesman in the sense of he was a little bit scathing of dentures (not that I would want a denture) and knew all the prices off by heart almost like a car salesman. I have 2 gaps now and will potentially have 4 (the upper tooth that needs removing he said we can wait and see what happens with it). I have a few weeks off work (planned shut down at my job) and I think I’ve panicked and rushed into eveyrhing as I wanted the treatment sorted whilst I am off but maybe I need to take a step back for a minute, I think the absolute shame is clouding eveyrhing and now I’ve been ‘brave’ and visited the dentist I want to keep the momentum going if that makes sense? Which would be absolutely fine if keeping it going didn’t cost literally thousands of pounds 🙈

OP posts:

Original poster

FlowersAndRainyDays · 02/04/2026 16:47

I have been checking in the mirror and the gaps are noticeable, they’re kind of just on the brink of my smile

OP posts:

HereIfYouNeedMe · 02/04/2026 16:53

When the 0% interest on your credit card is coming to an end, you can do a balance transfer to another card and get another 2 years interest free and so on

AmandaHoldensLips · 02/04/2026 16:54

Stop it with the shaming yourself!!!
You have nothing to be ashamed of.

And well done for getting yourself to a dentist and starting the journey towards fixing your teeth. It's really important and yes, it's really expensive but that's the way it is in the UK.

One of my kids had really crap teeth, not their fault, just genetically not good. I had to cancel a family holiday because of the dentistry bill. She was a teenager. The NHS option was unacceptable.

Get the loan. Fix your teeth. You will be so much happier.

By all means get a second opinion if you want but again, well done and go for it.

Also I worked for a dentist for some years so have a bit of knowledge so feel free to ask me anything or pm me.

CheeseRadio · 02/04/2026 16:55

Please don’t feel ashamed about your situation. Lots of people have massive hang ups about going to the dentist and their teeth, for myriad reasons, and leave getting treatment longer than they ideally should. The important thing is that you are now trying to address it.

So many people have problems with their teeth even when they do go regularly to the dentist, and you just don’t know about it. It wasn’t until I happened to start a conversation recently about teeth with a family member (who I regularly see) that I found out they’d been having extensive dental work carried out over the last few years and I had no idea! I do know that a mother of a friend of mine has had a full set of dentures since her thirties (now in her fifties), no idea why she ended up needed them at that age, but she’s a really attractive and outgoing woman and you wouldn’t ever guess she was wearing dentures. So there are people you’ll be meeting everyday with worse teeth than you but you just don’t know or even notice. It just feels hundred times more noticeable when it’s your own teeth.

Wishing you luck on finding whatever treatment/payment plan end up working the best.

Tinychihuahua · 02/04/2026 16:55

FlowersAndRainyDays · 02/04/2026 16:22

No I don’t smoke and never have so that’s one plus point!

You’d be surprised how many under 40s have dentures.

BillieWiper · 02/04/2026 16:58

Please don't be ashamed. Just take things into your hands and embrace trying to have a good dental regime from now on.
You cant change the past but you can change the future.
Regular dentist visits, thorough electric brushing, to, floss, mouthwash.
You're doing the right thing by facing the issue and trying to fix it. X

crackofdoom · 02/04/2026 17:02

Wow, for any kind of expenditure on that scale I would definitely be getting a second, if not also a third, opinion and quotes.

(And thanking my lucky stars that this kind of horrible, over- the- barrel having to pay for something you really can't afford but really can't refuse is confined to dentists and vets (oh and OK probably car mechanics) in the UK, and not for all health care like in the US).

Pinepeak2434 · 02/04/2026 17:08

I feel for you. 16 years ago I had my silver fillings removed in my molars and paid for what I thought were white fillings - they all failed and I was told by another dentist it was because they weren’t real white fillings but temporary fillings. Long story short I’ve had ongoing problems with those teeth. I’ve had failed root canals on one that ended up cracking in half and I’ve got a bit of fibre from the cleaning rod they used left in my root which shows up on X-rays. I need a molar implant but eventually I’m gonna need four as the fillings are deep and I just don’t have the money for it. I was quoted 9k for just one as it needs bone grafting first. I’ve got a cracked tooth just sitting in my mouth because I can’t afford to do anything about it and now I’ve got a some pain in another tooth however I’ve now got a massive fear of the dentist, so I just dread going there and them telling me that I need loads of work. My front teeth look perfect so people don’t notice the ones of the at the back but I’m always in pain.

Balloonhearts · 02/04/2026 17:08

Unless the others are hurting, I'd hang on to them tbh. One of mine was deemed unsavable by 2 dentists. I refused point blank to pull it unless it was hurting. The third dentist very confidently said 'that needs rebuilding and crowning before it fractures.' She did just that and it's fine, I should get a good few more years out of it. Get a second opinion.

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