Embarrassing yourself in public

[Zygella]

Is it just me? I keep on going through really embarrassing stuff I've done in my head.

Cringing still about how 4 years ago I went over to greet some people I once knew. And they pretended to not know who I was. I still see them around occasionally so make sure to hurry past and look at the floor.

I can remember so much more. And I worry am I usually socially inept or are other people like this?

Last year, I was standing in our local chemist, which is quite small to the point where you can hear what customers are asking the staff for, and the staff area is incredibly small too, and a huge shelving unit is in the middle of the already small customer side.

There was a long queue, snaking around the middle shelving unit, and the 2 assistants were working their arses off to serve as soon as possible and ease the queue.

Again, I was doubled up with menopause stuff - twisted guts, pain, etc. and, completely accidentally, let out a hiccup, burp and fart all at the same time as each other and all very loud!

The poor baby, being held in dad's arms, behind me, got my stinking fart in his innocent little face!

''OMG! I'M SOOO SORRY!'' I squeaked to everyone as they all looked at me, then I literally ran out, so embarrassed I didn't know where to put myself!

It was an entire month before I could go back in!

I used to be very socially awkward as well.

Just I cringe that 4 years ago I went all "omg..hello..how are you? It's been so long". And they pretended to not know me and basically ignore me. I have to see them around in the area and I feel so uncomfortable.

I also cringe about really silly behaviour I did at school.

That's really mean of them and not your fault at all!

I actually think they should be embarrassed about this, not you. Even if I didn't 100% recognise someone, I'd make a bloody good pretence and be kind. I think you need to change this in your mind to how rude they were, and remind yourself whenever you have to see them.

You sound lovely, OP. Life is full of mortifying moments - the trick is to try not to think about them.

This is where forgetting is a superpower. As Don Draper said to Peggy “you would be surprised at how easy it is to forget.” 😆

@Zygella , it wasn't you who displayed the embarrassing behaviour. That's squarely on their shoulders asking with bad manners

Perhap they have Parkinsons...
But seriously, you need to learn how to not give a shit...life's too short.

This 👆

In your instance @Zygella I don't think you have to be embarrassed about other people's poor behaviour.

To answer your question though, I have discovered that doing stupid and embarrassing things becomes less problematic if you do it so often that it becomes normal. Don't ask me how I know, I just know 🤣

Just practice laughing these things off, and before very long you will not feel so bad. As PP said, life is too short to worry so much. Also, unlike those other people, you are not rude.
@Squirrel60 bet you couldn't simultaneously do all those things again if you tried! Kudos. 🫡

That's an odd thing to do.

Are you sure they were pretending?

That is NOT you OP.

That is school playground behaviour.

Some people can't overcome the total lack of social skills, nor the poor social habits they learn at school.

I remember them clearly. They definitely knew me. And then I explained, and they just shrugged me off.

I'd said hello to one in a shop the year before and she said hi back.

This was so awkward because one ignored me and the other just asked "excuse me, who are you?"

I feel so uncomfortable and awkward seeing them around in the area now. I cringe thinking about it.

Overtheatlantic · Today 13:28
This is where forgetting is a superpower. As Don Draper said to Peggy “you would be surprised at how easy it is to forget

I forget everything - except incidences where I have made a fool of myself/behaved inappropriately from childhood onwards which are embedded clearly in my memory and will not be dislodged.

Why are you cringing about this? They were being shitty. The shame is theirs, not yours.

Beyond repair - beyond care. Easier said than done, but I try and apply this.

Because in that moment I felt so awkward and uncomfortable. I'd gone over and been "Omg, hello! How are you?"

And just was basically blanked.

Sounds like you did nothing embarrassing in this situation, they were awful to you.

I've bumped into others from that same part of my life and many others greet me nicely and are so happy to see me. So that makes me feel better.

I went arse over tit walking past a really busy pub in July in front of about 30 people. Loads of them laughed.

Luckily I was near my house and these warden type guys wheeled me home. Turned out I'd broken my hip and shoulder.

I think you were very brave going back in after just one month! I think I would have had to leave the country! 😂

Many years ago I strode up to a woman on a bus stop convinced it was an old friend from the 80's. It really, really looked like her right down to the quite distinctive hair. I stood right in front of her and proceeded to do a very silly dance whilst singing an even sillier song which used to be an "in joke" between us. I saw it through to the end even though she stood there rigidly with mixture of fear and atonishment in her eyes. Of course, it wasn't the old friend. But the huge bus stop queue behind her seemed to enjoy the spectacle.

I agree with this. They are really mean. If someone mistook me for someone else I would still be polite (if bemused) but never ever rude or just blank. Not kind.

I just want to credit you for actually apologising. That’s all you could
do.

A lot of people don’t.

That’s not a you problem, @Zygella ; it’s a them problem. They sound horrible. You’re better than that 💐