How can I actually get out of bed earlier when WFH?

[ChampagneCharlotteLemonadeBudget]

Please help me get up in the morning!

My standard working pattern is supposed to be 7am until 5pm four days a week - it's always been flexible however in my most recent role I had a lot of very early meetings which were in person in the office so was getting up at 530 (20 minute drive but I wanted to make sure I had time for a coffee/skincare/meds/quick meditation as well)

I'm now permanently based at home - due to the flexible working I've not been getting up until 7-730 most days. I usually work past 5pm regardless due to the nature of the job so not like I'm not making the time up elsewhere. But I really want to get back into the 530 routine so that I can go to the gym first thing now instead of after work.

My sleep hygiene is really good, I go to bed at the same time every night after a warm bath/shower and hot drink, I meditate, don't have screens in the bedroom and read until I fall asleep. I do take an antidepressant which has a sedative effect but I honestly rarely feel tired or sleepy during the day (which I think is a miracle given I was plunged straight into menopause after a hysterectomy aged 39 last year!). I sleep so well, but my issue is I just cannot get out of bed!

I have a physical alarm clock which I moved across the room so I have to get up and turn it off... but then I just get back into bed and back to sleep! It's just too cosy and comfy....

Any suggestions to give me that additional kick up the backside!?

Why do you feel you have to go to gym in the morning rather than the evening? If you’re not really a morning person, have the extra time in bed and just go after work, that’s what I do.

It is discipline. I swim 4 days a week, the same days and alarm goes off 5:30. I know I will feel better if I go and will feel disappointed in myself if I do not so I just get up and go. Some days it is hard but i have to stick to it!

I completely agree, and it's something I struggle with (autistic, possibly with a side order of ADHD, but I cba to get another diagnosis).

I'm also a single mum, and menopausal. And I've gradually stopped beating myself up for being "lazy". If I was left to my own devices, my routine would probably be: wake at 9/10.00. Potter round drinking coffee and doing housework until midday. 12.00- 8.00pm work. Unfortunately I have DC, so have the late starts- combined with early finishes! 😬 If I do have an early start and rush, I'm shattered. I mean, unable to speak, make stupid mistakes while driving kind of shattered. I just have to accept that I'm going to have to be a useless, feckless scrounger etc etc etc until the DC are fully independent. Just trying to make my peace with that.

But OP, you say you've taken on a second job in the evenings in addition to your regular hours? Honestly, I know ND folk are all different- and it doesn't seem like you have DC- but I can hear the burnout klaxons sounding from here.....

What time do you normally take the antidepressant? Look up how long the sedation lasts. Could you take it any earlier?

This book might help change your mindset - there is a TED talk too.

www.amazon.co.uk/Second-Rule-Surprisingly-Simple-Courage/dp/1682612384

@PermanentTemporary I think I would rather die than play a team sport (brings back memories of PE at school which is the last time I did any of that - plus I'm useless). I exercise for necessity not enjoyment

@TitsWILLbetatted bring back the laugh reaction! If this was a thing I'd definitely try it...

@Redhairandhottubs if I don't get it over with I'll end up talking myself out it, plus my work often overruns. Also at my new gym there will be a ton of people I know who go after work and I don't want to end up being forced to socialise! Plus I go to bed at 9 so getting to the gym for 530, home, shower, dinner, etc. doesn't leave much time to actually chill out

@Rubbleonthedouble2 I take it at 9pm and it's supposed to be 8 hours, although it's less than even the normal therapeutic dose as trying to wean myself off, think it could be psychosomatic at this point!

@crackofdoom needs must, I have lots of debt and rising cost of living - no DP to help out (and yes, no DCs) - it's actually helped improve my mood and my social skills to get out and about, and it's a job where I have to think very little about anything... I've only ever burnt out due to work stress, I don't really get physically exhausted ever and I thrive off being overly busy...

To be fair I was ok until I had DC. Then throw in perimenopause and I am much kinder to myself and need more rest.

Can see how without DC it would be easier.

I hate getting up and really struggle in the mornings. I got a Lumie alarm clock and most mornings I wake up with the light before the alarm actually goes off. When I get up for a wee I brush my teeth and wash my face. I then have to do my skincare as my skin feels dry so it makes me do that straight away. Only then when I have skin and teeth done do I let myself get back in bed for a scroll on my phone, drink of water etc, but I don’t fall back to sleep, I then feel half way ready to get dressed and up for the day!

Coffee machine on a timer in your room that makes coffee in the morning. The smell will help get you up and sipping a cup in bed too

I also recommend a sunrise alarm clock. It makes such a difference.

I also recommend a sunrise alarm clock. It makes such a difference.

Confession time after reading the thread properly... I actually have a sunrise alarm clock, albeit a cheapish one from Amazon....it doesn't seem to make any difference, especially now when it's already light outside when I need to be getting up!

@AgnesMcDoo love the coffee machine idea but would need to be plain, instant coffee as I can't bear anything fancy!

Yes, it's discipline.
I would say, speaking for myself, also a good bit of anxiety.

Don’t be too hard on yourself. ADHD is primarily disregulated dopamine. Which leads to a lack of motivation for certain things. Our dopamine is already starting the day at a lower level so getting up early is harder. Especially when it’s a choice rather than having to be at work on time.

Also stress and anxiety levels tend to be higher overall. I very much need to have reasonably quiet and non stressful mornings these days. After running myself in to the ground for years.

I’m lucky as I’m self employed but I tend to sit in the garden with a coffee first thing to get sunlight in my eyes. Then exercise after breakfast. Though these days exercise is often walking the dog.

You do know that any serious rowing happens very early in the morning because that’s when the water tends to be calm? You’re aiming to be on the water just as it is getting light which means getting up waaay earlier 🤣🤣

Yes, which is why I suggested either taking up rowing or accepting a later start to the day. But I totally get that it’s not something the OP wants to do!

I have a SAD/sunlight lamp on the opposite side of my room so I absolutely drag myself to switch it on when my alarm goes off (it doesn’t have an alarm in itself). I’m always too tempted to get back into the cosy bed but I also want to be kind to myself, so it’s lamp on, podcast that I enjoy on. I’ll close my eyes and snuggle up, but the light and the podcast draw me into the land of the living and I find I don’t actually go back to sleep anymore but it doesn’t feel awful. I usually have about 15 mins of this slow wake up and then I just crack on.

On the days I WFH I set my alarm for 2 hours before I start work. My incentive is that I have a nice coffee and do my Mumsnet and some word puzzles. Then 8am I might do some housework, start work earlier if I want to finish earlier or go for a run. I really like having that time but the coffee and the puzzles defo are the bit that makes me get up in the first place! It helps that I am a bit of a morning person though.

tips to improve my personal discipline I'm looking for

The cats are the key, mine gets up at 4am and if he is hungry aplies various tortures to make me get up. He has tickled my feet and then when I ignored him used his claws. He does take np for an answer when food is involved. Make sure your cats are hungry at the right time though. Personal discipline is a team effort.

Can you taper off the antidepressant slowly? They can make you feel almost drugged with tiredness if you are on a therapeutic dose for too long. I was fine on them for a couple of years and then started to feel exhausted.

See if cutting back helps. And leave your curtains open a bit to let the sun in now that dawn is breaking earlier.

Use an alarm app on a phone which will only turn off when you scan a barcode/QR code. Set it to the barcode of your shampoo, toothpaste or handwash in the bathroom.

It is the only thing which works for me and DS1. We both really struggle to get going in the morning, and we both experience the same thing where it's like some kind of "hibernating dormouse brain" is in charge and only prioritises getting back to sleep/cosiness, like nothing else matters. So something which is within the same room is not enough to break that spell. Something in another room is enough for me because when I'm in the bathroom I usually notice that I need a wee and because I've just scanned my toothpaste, I remember to brush my teeth as well - and the minty flavour and cold water wakes me up. By the time I've done all that the dormouse is gone so I can access logic to convince myself of why I do actually want to stay awake.

We also have ADHD BTW and there are studies showing ADHD is associated with a later chronotype (ie we are more likely to be night owls) and lower levels of cortisol in the morning. Cortisol is supposed to be produced in the morning to help you wake up. Interestingly since I have changed to a slightly higher dose of ADHD medication, I don't experience this problem so extremely. I can now even use an alarm which is in the same room, although it has to be not in reach of my bed. I do still need to have 1 snooze phase because if I try to stand up when I've only just been roused from sleep, I will feel nauseous and dizzy very quickly.

I also tend to do much better if I can have a schedule which is at least somewhat in line with my natural circadian rhythm, so personally I would not aim to get up at 5:30 every day because for me I would feel absolutely wrecked all the time.

Have a really fabulous breakfast to look forward to, like banana and peanut butter Greek yoghurt, or some kind of delicious smoothie

Oh and it would probably have to be a bathroom which is accessed through a hallway. I have never had an en-suite, but I highly suspect that if I tried this with an en-suite bathroom and had to go past my bed again to leave the room the dormouse would be back.

I also get into a cosy dressing gown and socks immediately so it feels like I get to take my duvet with me. I don't get dressed until later if possible. If I try to get dressed straight away then it takes me forever because I'm all confused and unable to make clear decisions. This might not work that well if you are trying to get up early to go to the gym.

i set the alarm an hour eariler and use soonze so then it feels like ive had longer

Get a dog, if you sleep in they shit on the floor.