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How to cope with grief after my mum died recently

26 replies

Allatsea1980s · 01/04/2026 06:57

Just that really. My mum died a few months ago from cancer. Her decline was very sudden and very upsetting to watch.
I am getting on with things - two dc at primary school and work full time. But inside I just feel very lost. I know that grief is normal but I am not sure how to process these feelings.
My diet has become terrible and I am definitely eating to try and make myself feel better. As a result have put on weight and feel rubbish. I feel overwhelmed by everything, like my brain is ‘full’ and cannot process anything unexpected. The other day when our weekend plans changed at the last minute I felt I was having a panic attack. I keep on getting terrible stomach cramps - these started before mum died but after she was diagnosed. I ended up in hospital one evening and tests and scans showed nothing, which obviously was a relief but has left me unsure of what to do to stop them. Exercise has gone out of the window.
Its not that I’m miserable all the time - I am looking forward to our family summer holiday, and I generally enjoy work. I see friends and I’ve been really touched by how thoughtful some of my friends have been. I just don’t feel right. Exercise has gone out of the window as well.
mum and I had a strained relationship at times, particularly when I was a teenager. I’ve realised that she probably suffered from mild depression and was quite dependent on alcohol at times. However we were closer as I got older and I feel so sad about how horrible her final months were. dh thinks maybe I should go to a doctor. Does anybody have any advice on how to manage grief/how to get through it?

OP posts:
Bettysnow · 07/04/2026 01:13

When I lost my mum I was devastated and couldn't shift the heavy feeling of sadness. Birthdays, Christmas all seemed flat and the weight was awful.
One day I thought about the person my mother was and I knew she would be so upset to know that I had stopped enjoying life. I made a promise to myself there and then that I would live and live happily as she had always encouraged me to do.
That was a turning point for me and the thought that she could still see me living a happy life and I knew that would make her smile.
I hope maybe this helps someone else

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