WWYD- unsure of another baby, 8 years age gap

[Kitkat1134]

A little bit of background I am 32 almost 33. My first DC is 8. Myself and DH (dad of Dc) considering another child. I have so many thoughts but unsure whether I am just overanalysing the situation , which I tend to do alot!

I have a job working 9.30-3 so perfect for school hours, nursery not so much as I would still need to pay for full days when I am working, but I reason it by telling myself that when baby is in nursery Dc1 will have 2 ish hour school quality time with me still. Am not v ambitious career wise, kind of fell into what I do now and is definitely a job that pays the bills more than a career!

Nursery costs, again for us will be about £750 a month for 4 days which at the moment we are heading into having a "spare pot" of around £1300 a month. Nursery costs for 4 ish years would delay being able to start overpaying the mortgage, delay nicer abroad holidays etc. Dh is not fussed about going abroad but I wouldn't mind having one soon. But again I think am I being silly for putting off another baby for the sake of one or two weeks abroad!

As I had my first at 24 I also have the thoughts of am I too old. Dh is 37 so is again older.

And the age gap, any positives stories would be great :) I am well aware that really it will be like having 2 only children, as soon Dc1 will be 12/13/14 and off living their own life. But then on an age thing, I am 32 now and I don't think at 40 I'm ready to have my spare time back (dc1 would be 18!).

I suppose reading my post back I'm looking for people to share experiences of large age gaps between children, mums who've had children in 20s and then again in 30s , and also welcome positive or negative experiences x

Mine have an 8 year age gap. I was 28 with my first, 36 with my second. Best decision I've ever made tbh. She thanks me all the time for giving her a sibling, it helps that the youngest is such a character already and fits in perfectly personality-wise - they have so much fun together already. He's like the puzzle piece I didn't realise was missing from our lives.

Thanks @sharkstale !

I have a 9 year gap. I was worried about the age gap but they’re really close. Now 20 and 11. Go
for it!

Thanks @JoJo10 ! That's what I'm hoping for even though they aren't close in age now they would be close when they are older.

I don’t think the age gap is a problem. What has put you off having another baby for the last 8 years? Have you always been unsure?

I was 8 when my mother had my sister. I wouldn't do it. She wasn't available when I needed her most.

My mom and her sister had a 9 year age gap and they were like two peas in a pod. They were friends, my aunt was her closest person.

I have a sister 8 years younger than me. We didn't get on as kids, we don't speak as adults. It either works or it doesn't. You can't assume either way, depends on their personalities. She is the spoilt golden child who has always been given everything.

@ToKittyornottoKitty mainly financial, but then dh and I have had a couple of pay rises now which would make it easier, not big bucks but just to ease the nursery years.
Plus Ds was chaotic up to 3 years old then life got in the way I think- family members needing care etc.

there are 10 years between me and my sister and we are best friends.

We have an eight year gap. They get on very well. I was roughly about the same age as yourself. Husband 7 years older. Youngest 10 soon. Just the 2 for us. Close gap is not for me, I must say coming to the end of childcare is amazing.

I can think of several siblings with that gap between the elder and younger child and they're close.

6 year age gap between DD and DS - best thing we ever did! They love each other so much and it's just the best thing EVER watching them together.

Thank you all for your responses:)

Cradling and bf my youngest 10months old. And over 7 and 9 years difference between his sister and brother. They love him too bits cuddle and play! All 3 are currently snoring on my bed!! I would say if your healthy and financially ok go for it!

I have an 8 year age gap and they adore each other. I actually think it’s been one of the greatest things to happen my eldest.
I’m knocking 40. My DH older. Personally I think your ages are absolutely fine.

There’s nearly 8 years between my mum and aunt - they are the best of friends and see each other several times a week.

My mum has a 16 year gap between me and my brother, we hate each other, well we dont see eachother as inportant.

I’ve got a 10 year age gap between my children. Youngest has just turned 1. It’s been a dream so far. There’s quite a few similar age gaps in my older child’s class so it really isn’t unusual.

There’s an 8 year gap between me and my sibling. Bar a tricky phase when I was mid teens and they were still 7/8/9 (we had absolutely nothing in common besides parents) we’ve always got on well. Both now in our 30’s and are very close.

Hello, I have a 15 year old and 6 and 4 years olds. so my eldest and youngest are 10 years apart and middle and eldest 8 years difference. Literally the BEST thing I ever did! My elder son is so helpful and fun (most of the time) with the girls! Also he is my support when I need to vent but also loves being the older fun brother. His little sisters think the world of him. I would 100% recommend x