Guests arriving tomorrow morning to stay for 10 days.

[GreatUserName]

Would it be unreasonable to sweep up any detritus that's just lying around on the surfaces into bags and stash into the garage and swallow the key until they leave?

Normally, I would be super organised - booked cleaner for today, fresh flowers in rooms, wine chilling and a boeuf bourguignon cooking and slippers warming by the fire... BUT working in the financial sector, this is our busiest time of the year, and this year has been particularly bonkers.

What's my best course of action? Is my original plan viable?

Help please MN!

Yanbu

Chuck all the crap into boxes. Chuck boxes in garage. Book an ocado delivery for tomorrow, fill it with easy cook meals and Picard stuff and be done with it.

Ooh I have just had a light bulb moment...
I could do the MN Special and
NOT ANSWER THE DOOR!

How likely are the DCs going to give the game away?

<Ponders> 🤔

Have these guests been invited by you, or just invited themselves? A lot depends on that.

Ten days is a big imposition on anyone's house and free time, did you invite them, and why don't they use airB&B or a hotel for all most of it?

Could you all have terrible D&V and say you’ve identified a lovely Airbnb they could stay in instead?
My heart sank reading the title of your post!!

Financial sector here too, utterly bonkers at the moment.

Tell them to go away.😁😅

Yeah just bundle it all together and wang it in the garage.

Have to say, you deserve a medal for having guests stay for TEN DAYS. Unless I had a massive house, with multiple reception rooms, 6-7+ bedrooms, 4+ bathrooms, 3-4 floors and a cellar, and 2 kitchens, I would NOT be having guests staying for 10 days! 😬

And staff... don't forget staff!

You omitted to mention the staff - at least 3, surely?

10 days?! I like judge Judy’s description … guests are like fish, thy start to stink after 3 days … good luck and do that with the garage, stash some wine / drink of choice in there too and a comfy chair so you can lock yourself away as necessary

I think that was Confucius - as true today as it ever was.

For adorable and loving parents I'd do it, but for anyone else there's not a chance in hell, and I'd think it was very presumptuous of anyone wanting to stay in anyone's home unless it was an emergency.

But, sigh..... I suppose I am the selfish hard hearted outlier amongst all the hosts from heaven.

So I have no tips for you OP. Apart from plenty of wine and a few happy pills to keep you going.

Good luck OP. We have just had people for a light lunch and I'm exhausted!

However, it was the ideal opportunity to get all DH's cycling crap (rechargeable lights, head cam, glasses etc) off the kitchen worktops and put away somewhere sensible, so every cloud and all that...

I take it DH removed all his crap and not you!

He did, although I did provide a handy and suitable receptacle for him to put it in.

Its going to be hell's own job to keep the worktops clear sadly...

Guests are exhausting. But also need to feel welcome so no activity which will make you feel resentful. Keep it cheerful and think how you would feel if you were them. So no need to massively tidy up but make sure they have what they need and give each other space over the ten days (TEN DAYS! 🫣)
Leave the crap lying around but make sure they have clean bedding and towels and loads of good food/alcohol etc.

The car boot is also a good place to stash household clutter pre guests.

Whose bright idea was it to invite them to stay at your busiest time of the year? Is all the onus on you to play the hostess? or are you sharing hosting with a significant other?

How demanding are they likely to be.
If they are nice and relatively indepedent.. they will just get on with things.
If they are family say upfront.. you have to look after yourselves this time etc.

If you can't put them off...

First night - go out to dinner - they can treat you for hosting.
Book the cleaner for tomorrow anyway. and plan to send them out for the day. It will make you feel better and less apologetic.
Next night take away..
Can you order some dinner from something like "Cook"

Get Chatgpt to help plan an itinerary of outings that will keep them reallly busy.

Good luck. And don't take any nonsense from anyone. 10 days free accomodation and food is a MASSIVE favour and if they are not appreciative, I'd be reminding them of that.

Who are the guests OP? I hope they at least fork out for a takeaway or meal out once or twice.
Totally not place marking for updates..

Thanks everyone.
You've put a smile on my face with your comments!
@Zov
5 bed house over 3 floors.
3 bathrooms and a downstairs loo so 4 loos in total.
No cellar though and no staff (dammit! Should have employed a 'House Manager' - does anyone remember that thread 😅) unless you count the husband.
Everywhere is clean, especially the bathrooms but there's just so much crap stuff lying around!
Luckily DH is Mr Cool, Calm & Collected, nothing fazes him.
So he has sorted out the surface stuff (he did put 2 boxes into the garage - so I wasn't far off with my suggestion 😉)
And cooked dinner while I've been flapping, for want of a better description.
It's my family who are coming to stay.
We don't mind them staying at all, but it's just the prep beforehand that gets me into a tizz.
They usually come in the summer, which is fine as work isn't so crazy.
It's just the worst timing of all with work, that's all, but they are coming for a special family occasion (elderly parent's big birthday!) so can't change that.

I'm usually really good at these things!

Loving the JudgeJudy/Confucius confusion 😄

@DuckbilledSplatterPuff
Thanks for the support.
I was typing out my essay when you posted.
They're OK guests.
They're planning to go into London on Saturday (and hopefully stay till Sunday!) but BIL is notoriously flaky when it comes to sticking to what is planned 🙄
He is the tricky one.
The first night is always Fish and Chips, and there will definitely be a couple of meals out and a takeaway or two!

I think it sounds like you can take this in your stride.
It's your family so that makes it easier.
Just tell BIL to wind his neck in if he gets tricky. 😂

Spray pledge like air freshener, it will smell as if you have done loads of dusting!!!!

@begonefoulclutter

Tell them to go away.😁😅

I love the simplicity of that statement 😂

@DuckbilledSplatterPuff he is a bit of a prat!
(There's a lot of eye rolling involved 🤭)

@mumonthehill I've got some really nice smelling glass cleaner, I've been using that like it's frebreze.
BIL might come out in a rash... 😆