What highly recommended purchases have you bought that turned out to be underwhelming, if not totally shit?

[JustinianTheThird]

For me:
> Wool duvet:
No warmer than an Asda synthetic job. Heavy as fuck so hard to change the bed. Stiff so it doesn't mould around your body. Thin so looks shit on the bed.

> Heater clothes airer
Massive monstrosity. Takes forever to dry clothes. Makes clothes smell musty and fusty.

> Spa day
Just boring. And damp.

> Hamnet by Maggie O'Farrell
Poorly written to the extent it felt like YA fiction. Unlikable and unrealistic characters. Couldn't find the deep emotional aspects that people go on about.

> Modibodi period pants
The tightest waistband I've ever experienced in my life. Are Modibodi selling these to failed third world states as torture devices? They fucking should.

What about you?

Instapot

Foam roller.

All the runners are raving about them as recovery aids. I might be rolling wrong somehow (possible) but it doesn't make anything feel any different. Not even a tiny bit!

I'm also fairly sure k tape is a scam but I'm really curious as to what the people (including professional athletes) who use it think they're feeling. Every time I've used it for an injury it hasn't made a jot of difference.

Oh God, me too. Basically it's glittery lard that smells of Germolene. I tried everything, watched the tutorials, varied the amount and placement etc. Then I had an epiphany and decided it must be the 'shade' that was wrong.

So I bought another fucking one!

Nope. Still just glittery lard in a very, very slightly darker shade.

I agree with Weleda. Claggy and forms little clumps on your face. Foundation doesn’t go on smoothly afterwards. I got sucked into UpCircle and bought moisturiser, serum and eye cream. The eye cream is like clay, smells unpleasant and made no difference at all. Aldi Vitamin C serum and eye cream are much better and smell nicer too.

Salon brand shampoos all make my head itch.

I've gone back to Tresemmé

A garlic press/crusher I was daft enough to order after seeing a FB ad. Utterly rubbish, it went in the bin after one try. Luckily it was only a few £££. Back to the trusty old thing I’ve had for 20 odd years.

Every implement I ever bought that guaranteed perfect poached eggs. Nope, just crack em in the pot and hope for the best now!

Soup maker - pot and stick blender better.
Massive tall blender, (took up too much room) replaced with Aldi veg chopper which blends also. So neat and does the job perfectly.
I have two very cheap Lidl stick vacuums, one up one down. Still going strong and are great, but you only want to hear about the useless things - but I got rid of them! 😊

No other kitchen gadgets, I just use bowls and utensils for baking and cooking, so I am very boring.

Sounds as though I would hate it too. I love my light and lofty down duvet, but it’s really old now and I wondered if wool might be better. Thanks for the warning !

I got my wool one to replace a feather and down that'd gone really flat.

I really wish I hadn't. In hindsight, I'd have had my old one professionally washed and dried to see if that plumped it back up. If not, I'd have got another down one.

Oh I've tried tiny amounts, larger amounts, changed my facial wash etc. Still no difference to my skin and still pills.
I actually think it's the only cream I've tried that has pilled and I've tried a lot! 😆

Heated clothes dryer
astonish mold and mildew cleaner
dyson
air fryer
zoflora

Weleda skin food is my holy grail moisturiser! You have to warm it up/emulsify it in your finger tips before applying it to your face.

Things I find shite or underwhelming would be my Dyson hoover, almost every item of Chanel and Dior makeup I’ve ever owned and Redken extreme hair products - left my hair with the texture of dry spaghetti.

Celeste d’Or bras. So convincing online but their “size guarantee” is bullshit. I have contacted them so many times as they absolutely do not fit - monoboob warning! No one responds. Quite a lot of complaints about them online, so definitely one to avoid.

Cordless hoovers had loads of them, i.e., Shark, but all were useless. could not get dog hair up, bin filled too quickly, battery ran out halfway through, nope, forget it
Steam mops cannot see the point, do not get it clean enough, and back to my mop with the removable pads you can wash and a bottle to fill with whatever cleaner you want

Henry the hoover. It fucking hates hoovering, always tumbling over and getting it's cord wrapped round stuff.

I’ve really enjoyed this thread,
makes me feel so much better about my long list of disastrous purchases! Agree with spa days, totally don’t get the appeal. After many failed experiments with body lotion I’ve found that E45 24-hr Evening Primrose Oil is by a country mile the best and lasts for ages. No gloop, no sticky,
no smell, but nice soft skin with no dry flakiness. Brilliant stuff!

Yes. Why is it so hyped? So clunky.

Love our cheap and cheerful Henry too. We have a German shepherd that has ‘tumbleweed’ everywhere and after so many other hoover this is the only one that works and lasts

Things I think are shit...

Slow cookers -meat dry and stringy, swimming in a watery slop

Shark cordless hoover -poor suction power and battery runs out v. Quickly

Orange wine -yuck

Prosecco -headache inducing cat piss

Dyson Air Wrap -too Faffy and complicated. Feel like I need 3 or 4 arms to use

Pilates -boring and hard. What's with all that breathing?

Apple Mac -I have no words for the shitness

Things I covet but are also possibly shit...

-Robot Hoover

-food processor

-faffy skincare

-expensive electric toothbrush

I love zoflora! Makes the washing smell lovely when it’s on my non-heated airer, which is unlikely to ever get upgraded to a heated one after this thread 😂

You can uncovet robot hoovers. They get stuck and give up and go home to their little charging stations.

And you can uncovet food processors. They save loads of time chopping but you then have to wash them by hand as they are fiddly and it takes for ever.

So true. It hates hoovering and just rolls around with that stupid grin on its face.

But it doesn't need emptying after every teaspoonful of dust imbibed, like the even worse Dyson.

Genuine question: how can you love the High Line? It really is just a path with some grass verges. Nowhere near as varied as almost any other traffic-free path you could walk down, in any park, woodland, countryside anywhere in the world. It's okay, but it's so unremarkable.

Sage food processor. Whole thing too big. Box of attached blades - about 10 of them , too big. Blades are so sharp- scarey to wash. The whole machine, plus attachments , lives in the utility (I think. Haven't used it in yonks)

Agree - I read it thinking "when is something going to HAPPEN?" Looks pretty on my shelf though 😂