Would you leave Year 5 and Year 7 home alone after school?

[Jinglejinglejingle7]

Advice please. After a struggle following redundancy, myself & Dh are both getting new jobs. Ive had a job offer and dh looks like he's about to get an offer. Big change in circumstances as I'm going full time in office and dh will be hybrid, possibly 3 days in office. I may have some flexibility to finish early and wfh but I cant push that yet.
Problem is we have 2 dc, eldest year 7 youngest year 5. I think they are old enough to be left at home for an hour/ hour and a half. Eldest makes her own way home already, youngest gets picked up/ dropped off but its 15 minutes walk max and he's 10 now so could walk or eldest could collect. Dh worried that they're too young. I dont think we have a massive choice. Would u let 10 year old walk home, then stay with his sister for an hour or hour & half on they're own? They're sensible, get on well, we leave them now to run to shops/ walk dog etc.

I have a similar age gap.. but not chance ai could leave my two.
They would be trying to cook stuff, playing in the garden and getting injured, sword fighting with thr kitchen knives and making a paddling pool in the bath with snorkels and floaties.
But I appreciate not everyones kids are like mine.
In theory you should be able to though.
What is the emergency plan though, what if there was a fire orone of them fell down the stairs etc, do you trust the older one to take charge and will the younger one listen to them?

So, what? a parent or teacher needs to be with them at all times?

I don't dispute that a teenager may need support, but that doesn't mean they can't be left alone.

Part of that support is enabling independence and showing kids they can occupy and entertain themselves

It is, but it needs to be a gradual build up.
OP's younger dc doesn't even walk home with her currently. They are dropped off and picked up. They don't have the experience of walking, dealing with traffic and so forth, then the OP is talking about them suddenly having a 15 minute walk home.
That's not supportive.

Mine are the exact same age,they have left by themselves for 1 hour and 30 minutes while I go to work,dh doesn’t get in from work until 6.30 although I do only work an 8 minute walk away.

No I wouldn’t, you are expecting a child to look after another child.

Are they tho?

Plenty of PPs have said they were fine with this setup for their yr5/10yo DC.

When ds2 was in yr 5 he usually got home before his older siblings.

I don’t see this as the 12yo looking after the 10yo at all. Tho the 12yo being there is supportive for sure.

Yes, I wouldn't be worried at all.

Dear mumsnetters, especially experienced members! Do you know much more about the two somewhat bonkers cases (on the surface) from a few years ago where one mum left a 13 year old in charge of two younger siblings (who weren’t babes in arms but something like 6 and 10 or 5 and 7 maybe) for 30 minutes at home and got a police caution for this? And another case where the husband of a wife, where the wife left a child alone for a bit, got a caution without knowing much about her doing that? (Like, he was at work and suddenly got a caution). There was an outcry as parents then couldn’t get work as this was on their crb/dbs. I googled it and found an article about it still, although at the time there was some more information I think. There is no precise law, but because of this police have discretion? NSPCC say 12 minimum to be alone and 16 to babysit. Was it discussed at length on mumsnet at the time? We can reminisce that in the olden dsys most of us walked back from school starting from well below 12. And there’ll be valid arguments from the modern world against it. But all in all, these cases seem like overkill even in the modern world. Nevertheless, dear OP, please be mindful of these precedents, but perhaps someone knows a bit more?

Contrarymary30 do the op should never work then. Alright for you to say

This is my take on it too.

In our schools even the year 7 could stay behind for homework club. They may prefer this to beng home alone.

That sounds like a load of hearsay to me, sorry.

Obviously there have been cases where very small DC have been left alone at home with sometimes tragic consequences. No one here is advocating that. But I would be astonished if the cases you quote here have any bearing in reality.

I do worry about parents who think that their 10yo is not capable of being safely in their own home for an hour or so. What do you think they will do? “Anything could happen” – OK yes, but what you do is teach your 10yo what to do should situation a or b occur. That’s why it’s not OK to leave a 1yo in the house for two hours.

If a 10yo (depending on the 10yo, are they keen, do they have any SEN) is way too young, what age is acceptable? And why that age and not 10?

Not hearsay, but reported on BBC and Sunday Times at the time. I just googled briefly, this is the first link summarising at least one case, with links to BBC and Sunday Times. https://sueatkinsparentingcoach.com/2011/02/should-a-teenager-be-left-to-babysit-a-toddler/ I remember I was shocked, read up a bit more at the time, got shocked even more. I wasn’t on mumsnet at the time so don’t know if this was all debated here.

If you leave them alone make sure they don’t have access to the internet and/or able to use any social media or YouTube. Speaking from personal experience there are more severe dangers within the home (via the internet) for an 11 year old left at home from 3:30-5:30 each day after school then out wandering the streets. Depends on the child obviously. But just need to warn everyone who might read this thread. I feel very strongly that our young people almost need more supervision than ever.

I can't read the Sunday Times piece and the BBC piece is utterly vague so I am still doubtful.

Right now it was a result of my brief googling and glancing at the first link, for under a minute. I do remember reading about it in greater detail at the time. Those who are interested may want to look into it for more than a minute of googling of course.

I have a Yr 7 child and Y4 child.

In my opinion I’d say yes from secondary school age onwards. 1.5 hours 3 days a week is ok. Encourage y7 child to do a hobby at school one of these days if available.

However, I’d say after school club for y5 child until they are Y7. Whether they like it or not.

Defo take the jobs though and muddle through. 2-3 years time you’re home and dry with this.

Hopefully when you’re settled you can get an afternoon work from home.

I have an 11 and 9 year old (year and and year 4) and would do this from September if needed. They do get left for short periods together and my eldest is left for longer. They have access to message/ phone me and know what to do in an emergency.

What if the Year 7 wanted to do something after school? Mine used to do clubs some/most evenings or just want to hang out with friends. Or got a detention?
You would be depending on them to come over every evening to at least be there for the Y5.

I think that's a lot for a Y7 to take on.
I'd be fine with kids that age being at home on their own for up to two hours, but less keen on the after school logistics of them getting there.

@aster10 I have read the article, it referred to a 13/14 year old being left for hours with a 3 year old. Not a 12 and 10 year old together.

I was wondering what I’d missed!

I think it’s fine.

Op YOU know your children.
Do they fight or look out for each other?

That is my biggest question. If they look out for each other then I wouldn't have a huge issue with them being home together.

If they fight and niggle at each other then that would be a big no. I'd look for childcare for youngest.

Id would also consider options for school holidays. As I really don't think its fair for them to be home alone all day in holidays.

My children walked home together occasionally at this sort of age and entertained themselves for an hour, although DH was working from home. I definitely knew of other children who walked home on their own and let themselves in in around year 6.

30 minutes as I’m reading, rather than hours? (In one of the cases)

For walking home from school in year 5 and 6 our school require an adult to be in the house when the child walks (straight) back from school. It is a privilege and the school can (and do) withdraw it. You have to sign a form.