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Possibly pregnant at 40 and terrified

5 replies

ThreeAfter30 · 24/03/2026 15:06

Ok a bit of background. Im 40 (almost 41), and haven’t been on BC since last summer. Not TTC, just came off it as my periods were all over the place and since I did I’ve had a regular 25 day cycle. DTD on cycle day 12, I was drunk and didn’t even realise it was the day after ovulation. Now I’m having an absolute breakdown that I might be pregnant as I’ve had really sore boobs & a sore lower back (back pain isn’t unusual for me as I have degenerative discs) but today my nipples are aching, I’ve been in stinking form despite my libido being unusually through the roof!
I love kids, I already have 3, but my main worry is because 2 of my dc are autistic. My youngest quite severely. They don’t have the same dad but I’m terrified that if I’m pregnant this LO may be autistic too. I know I’m jumping the gun as I might not even be pregnant but the symptoms aren’t normal for me. I know I will cope, I always do but I’m just afraid of the impact it will have on my youngest (she is self injurous, struggles to regulate etc, not fully verbal ) . Also I’ve had a tough time health ways the past couple of years and am awaiting a fibromyalgia diagnosis. I don’t know what I’m wanting from posting this. Im just wondering if there are any other mums out there who got pregnant at this age despite health problems and anyone with autistic dc and how did you cope? Thanks for reading if you got this far lol!

OP posts:
MidnightPatrol · 24/03/2026 15:15

What did you expect to happen if having unprotected sex?

You do have options, if adding another to the brood is overly complex given both your and your current children’s medical diagnoses.

Coffeeandbooks88 · 24/03/2026 15:19

Take a test and find out. You might be worrying unnecessarily.

ThreeAfter30 · 24/03/2026 15:30

I’m well aware of that, I usually avoid my fertile period, like I said, I was drunk and forgot.
It is what it is, I was just looking for other people’s experiences.

OP posts:

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ThreeAfter30 · 24/03/2026 15:32

Coffeeandbooks88 · 24/03/2026 15:19

Take a test and find out. You might be worrying unnecessarily.

I’m not due my period til Saturday so still really early to test.
i will need to test on Friday though as I’m going to a wedding and would like to know beforehand.
im a natural born worrier lol

OP posts:
LadyKenya · 24/03/2026 15:46

ThreeAfter30 · 24/03/2026 15:30

I’m well aware of that, I usually avoid my fertile period, like I said, I was drunk and forgot.
It is what it is, I was just looking for other people’s experiences.

It won't make much difference to you, there will be other factors to consider, such as family support, ect. It sounds quite difficult for you at this present time, as things stand already.

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