Partner talking to random people …would this bother you?

[luluxxx]

Anytime we are out he just starts speaking to random people.
Not just like your basic conversation,he will try and involve himself in conversations etc
Examples
We were out at the weekend and this guy had a drink spilt over him …my partner taps him
”oh I seen you got soaking ,bless you” taps me ..look at that.
Then says to the guy he will dry his coat on the back of his chair (guy was standing )
We can be in a bar at a table and as we are leaving he will shout to some random person at the bar “we are leaving do you want this table “
About to get in the car and he will start pointing at a car saying “we are leaving ,do you want our space “
Sat in a restaurant and a couple will be chatting and he will say something to them to join in.
Would this annoy you ?
or is he just friendly /helpful ?

It is usually older people who strike up conversations but I've never assumed it was boredom, more a self confidence and interest in people that comes with age.

It's cringe when on an early date though. You should be paying attention to each other, not trying to show off how massively social and gregarious or possibly annoying 😄 you are. It's a form of attention seeking.

Im the same, drives my husband crazy. If we ever do the school pick up together he ends up
walking off with DS and leaves me chatting. I start conversations wherever I go, DH will
ask how I know the person and I have to reply to say never met them before in my life! He is the
total opposite and just does not get it!

Im from Lancashire though, not yorkshire!

Everyone talks to me when I am out - so I am the other day. DH says I have a friendly face - annoys me sometimes though!

I love people like this. Open and friendly. If he is butting in randomly that's weird but if he has good social skills and can gauge when someone is open to a chat then that's different. I think I'm pretty good at this and I wouldn't strike up a conversation with a couple at a restaurant but I might say 'enjoy your meal' if I leave before them or something like that. I chat to everyone and hope I never change.

I think it tends to be older people because we are more confident / practised at it, having grown up without self service checkouts, without everything being online and having to talk to people to do anything, and they just have more to chat about having had more life experience. I’ve always done it to some extent but probably do it more now because there are less random chats at eg checkouts. I go to various fitness classes at the local sports centre and it does tend to be all the middle aged or older people striking up conversations before starting compared to younger ones. I really like it, you start seeing people you’ve chatted to before, get to know them a little bit, then see them in town and say hello, it’s just nice.

Would this annoy you ?

No, because it’s normal.

It’s only Mumsnetters that go around with a face like a sucked lemon being rude to other people.

Is he a people pleaser? The examples you've given aren't just making conversation. They're examples of needing to save the day. It's a perfectly normal thing to do if the situation arises but it's not normal if he goes out of his way to do it in every single interaction.

This seems normal human behavior to me

That would drive me insane!
I find overly helpful people very annoying, just get up and leave ffs. Don’t be hanging around for thanks, it’s so needy imo

I don't really see the point in including Northerners and people from God's own country Yorkshire. I live over the Pennines in God's Great Northern City.

I think it's more about reading the room as the Americans would say.

Although it is kind and thoughtful of him, to let people know there is an empty table or car parking space. And shows courtesy and manners.

Intruding into complete strangers conversations is rude and shows lack of respect for boundaries. And is quite frankly being plain nosey.

He sounds as though he may have some kind of mild awareness, social connection problem.

Haha my partner is from Barnsley (I’m not) and he’s always doing this 🙈 I’m torn-on one hand it’s lovely (I find people from Barnsley very friendly) and on the other hand I find myself hissing “stop making eye contact with people!” I honestly don’t know how he does it!

Same 😂 based on your examples op, which are all but one (the restaurant, although probably depends on the actual specifics) entirely normal and non-obtrusive, I think you’re being a bit uptight and unreasonable.

It reads like he's just trying to interact with other people. There's nothing wrong with it except for your embarrassment. Extroverts like people. They will literally walk around the room to meet everybody. You are not responsible for him. If it really bothers you that much, let him walk in 5-10 minutes ahead of you. Make a deal with him that when you arrive his glad-handing time is over.

Stop being embarrassed. Embarrassment is a waste of time and inhibits the feel good chemicals the body makes, especially while you are out enjoying yourselves. Let him be who he is. You can always scroll on your phone.

This - if it's bad enough for OP to feel awkward and post about it I suspect he's not actually reading the room and isn't reading signals that joining the conversation isn't actually appreciated?

I know and have known people who do this to the point where it's awkward....

The other parties aren't making conversation and enjoying being brought out of their shell.

They're clearly just responding out of politeness (and are too polite to tell the chatty person to go away). They aren't asking questions back or inviting the chatty person to blend into their group.

It's awful if you are a physical companion because the person chatting (in a one sided way) doesn't seem to "get" the situation and wants you to join in/enable them so they don't feel uncomfortable.

but also you don't want to feel like you're part of an odd couple or group harassing strangers!

Although I can see how annoying this could be, please treasure this man - my husband was exactly the same, he died 5 years ago, far too young & with lots of chat left in him 😊 💕

Mr Monkey is Irish and does this all the time. It is mostly endearing although occasionally irritating.

I remember leaving him in a locals bar in a small French town near the Spanish border watching the football. I came back 2 hours later and he appeared to have made friends with the whole bar and was happily chatting away in a terrible mix of school boy French, Spanish and English.

Hialriously we happened to go back there for a couple of days thw next year, and as we walked past the bar a shout of recognition went up from the regulars

This all sounds perfectly normal and friendly to me…but I’m northern and we are generally a friendly bunch up here 😂

I have been ‘glanced at askew’ though, when I’ve tried these things in London 🤷‍♀️

Your DH sounds quite lovely OP.

This. I feel it has got huge in my 40s so can imagine what I’ll be like older. It’s nice to see strangers interacting. It’s why I can’t understand when people say they feel invisible, older people are more visible than anyone as they are generally talking to everyone!