Bedtime Routines

[Grandpianer]

I have been thinking about putting children to bed. I don't remember it being much of a thing in my 70s childhood. And the same for my early 90s born children. Pyjamas, teeth, story, into bed. Story for mine happened downstairs all together then up to bed with a book to look at in bed, then dad and I would go to up and kiss them goodnight and lights out. Sometimes a bit of a chat but mostly chats happened in the daytime.
I definitely wasn't 'put to bed' it was more like time you were in bed and up I'd go.

My kids would muck about a bit especially when sharing a room but it just wasn't really a big thing.
When i read on hear or talk to younger parents irl theres a lot of talk about doing bedtime even for older ones say 10 or 12.

Was my family very unusual or have things changed a lot? I'm very curious. I think I just did with mine what my parents did with me and my siblings. No internet then so a lot less knowing what other people did I suppose.

Probably depends on the family. Mine are 'up to bed now' from about age 7 but my 8 year old still needs help drying her hair after a shower and often likes a story.

DS is 6 now and his bedtime routine has been the same since he was about 2 - pyjamas, teeth, book and a kiss goodnight. We are lucky that he’s always been very easy though. These days, he might read for a bit or play quietly in his room before going to sleep but so long as he’s quiet, I just leave him to it.

Mine are now 20 and 22. When they were born it was the Gina Ford era of very strict routine. I didn’t follow the daytime bit but was very regimented in the evening routine from day one. By three months had babies that were put down drowsy, lights out and I left, and off to sleep they went. They’d wake up once or twice more for a feed, but around six months were sleeping through. I know my son, when around 3/4/5 might try and extend the bedtime, but generally went off happily to sleep. My DD no problem. Certainly no more than a handful of times did they get up, usually because they were unwell
or we were staying somewhere else. Once school age it was more ‘right up for bed now’, and I’d go to tuck them in and say goodnight.

Well I have not very nice memories of not being able to get to sleep and then my dad coming in and getting angry because I wasn’t asleep; then I got more upset and anxious. My daughter will never experience this; I’ll stay with her til shes asleep until she asks me not to! Why do you care what other families do, if it works for them?

I did bath, play upstairs for a bit, story and then put to bed awake. Then gradually it became read in bed themselves and sleep. It wasn’t a thing and certainly there was no stress or anything, it was all very enjoyable.

I've always been strict on bedtimes with my 4 and never had issues. When its bedtime its bedtime teeth, story, kiss goodnight. I couldn't be bothered with all this co sleeping or waiting until they are asleep crap. Everyone needs their sleep and I deserve a break from them in the evening.

It's just interesting @Peonies12 I'm sorry your father wasn't very nice.
I'm just curious as I said. No criticism implied to the way any family does it. I'm just of the generation that didn't have anybody else to ask really so I did what I learned from my own upbringing. Some good, some if it less so possibly. My parents were very strict and there was definitely no getting up and going downstairs though I do remember sleep tight followed by 'no calling out'.
My children did sometimes come down to ask for a drink which I wouldn't have dared to.
AI wanted to title my thread something like changes in bedtime, is it generational. Perhaps i should have gone with that.
Thank you all for your posts.

Mine are all 19-24 now, so same as @mondaytosunday they were strict Gina Ford bedtime routines babies, as they all were then. (and it worked evry well).
Bathtime at 6 ish, hot chocolate whilst watching the last bit of CBeebies, teeth cleaned and into bed or a story, then a quick night night and a cuddle and then out of the pitch dark room, door shut and that was that. They were warm, clean, fed and loved. But also disciplined and knew the boundaries. For example, any playing up would not work, anyone coming downstairs or whatever would be led straight back to bed, no nonsense (unless ill). They knew this and respected it due to routine and COSISTENCY.

I actually feel so sorry for young mothers now who have to co-sleep or go to bed with their child and lie there rocking it or holding hands. And then they say, "I won't do crying or routines!" It doesn't have to involve crying, mine never did!

When mine were small....it was bath, milk, teeth, read them a story or three then light's out. As they got older it was lights out by 8.30 on a school not, later on the wet. They are now 18 and 21 and youngest still takes himself to bed at 9 pm 🤣🤣🤣

Mine are 22 and 20 so of the Gina Ford era. The actual time wasn't always very strict because by the time we got home form work, eaten etc could be later than some and varied depending on whether it was a work day. But the routine stayed the same, bath, teeth, story, bed. As they were close in age, one they were past toddlerhood they went to bed at the same time and we'd all get into my bed together for stories and chat, kiss goodnight then they went off to their rooms when I went back downstairs. Stories and chat sometimes stretched out because it was such a lovely time together and as they got older I would be doing things like sorting laundry etc while they read. We kept this general routine but getting later till they were about secondary school age, they still liked being read to. They were good sleepers and never really came out of their rooms unless they were ill, apart from a spell of night terrors DS had when he was about 3. Eating on the other hand has been something of a nightmare, it hasn't all been easy.

Mine are 23 and 19. I had a strict bedtime routine, arrive home from nursery at 6, bowl of yogurt, 5 minute run about, bath, teeth, story in bed, cuddle and lights out at 7. Eldest used to listen to younger ones story and then had one of his own. Virtually zero crying, lots of sleeping. I started bedtime routines within a few weeks of birth. I did still put them to bed throughout primary and into early secondary and did read stories too, as they enjoyed it. By that point they’d go up and get ready for bed, shower, teeth etc by themselves and then call me when they were ready for a story. Once they were into longer more interesting stories I really enjoyed it!

I'd say the bedtime routine you've described is still the norm - pyjamas, teeth, book, bed. What has changed for us is that DS reads himself now rather than being read to. I'll go in and give him a cuddle and say goodnight but it's all very relaxed and doesn't take up any time.

I know I was an absolute nightmare as a child and happily functioned on about 5 hours sleep per night, much to my mother's dismay. Any kind of routine was apparently useless.