How to react when you make a mistake

[BorryMum]

I've had a couple of occasions recently where I have made a genuine mistake and strangers (male) have got really angry with me and had a go at me. Both times I think I was in the wrong and just apologised and didn't argue back as I didn't want to inflame the situation but they just kept shouting.

Is my apologetic approach making it worse? I'm 57 and female and it seems like people are so much less tolerant of me. One was in a car park on my own and a man said I had cut him up (not sure I did) and was swearing and shouting at my car window and the other was when I mistook the door to a building and entered the wrong one and a security guard got really cross with me and again shouted. Both times I was on my own and they were a bit scary to be honest. I don't know why I keep making these embarrassing mistakes as well.

I say sorry and forget about it.

Some people are needlessly aggressive over trivia. Its not really even about your mistake, its something wrong in their lives or their personality that makes them lash out at others.

If you feel you are in danger then quickly remove yourself from the situation and go have a cup of tea.

@YerMotherWasAHamsterthat's what I tried to do, the second one I was actually locked in the building while he shouted at me while I waited for him to let me out! If it was me and somebody made a genuine mistake I would be much more forgiving. I will try and let it go

You ought to complain about that. There was no need for it at all.

Quite simply some people are just unpleasant. IMO your age has little to do with it, your sex does though because it makes you a generally a smaller, weaker target.

Its not surprising to me that both times you were shouted at by a man, it seems that we become easy targets for aggression especially when you're alone. I had a man yell at me for not moving forward quickly enough at a petrol station when the car in front drove away. After that, a guy yelled in my car window because I was apparently not driving fast enough when we both had to stop at the traffic lights. I am 55, I think I'm a reasonable person and careful but not cautious driver. Both times I felt extremely uncomfortable and threatened, I don't believe they would have reacted the same towards another man. Just bullying behaviour.
Edited to say, I've experienced it more since I've been in my 50s, so it does feel age related imo.

I don’t think it’s making it worse I think they are tossers.

Mind you in the security guard instance I’d have definitely told him that there was no need to speak to me in that tone and I would have complained to his manager afterwards. I had an incredibly twatty security guard incident once and emailed his boss in a very measured tone basically saying “are your security guards supposed to behave like this?” And got an apologetic email back.

Thanks everyone, I definitely feel less embarrassed about it now. I have noticed it's worse now I'm older or perhaps it's just people are less tolerant in general over the last few years.

@BorryMum people do seem to be more angry

I think being a woman means that people are more likely to shout at you if they're pissed off, yeah

Also, you mentioned about being apologetic. I'm like that. Fortunately, I haven't had many incidents but generally, I think people see it as a sign of weakness and that doesn't help. The security guard shouting at you is a classic example. I think if somebody had just strolled in and didn't say sorry then he probably wouldn't shout! It's ridiculous, but I think generally manners and politeness are now seen as a sign of weakness.

Men shout at women because they are not physically afraid of us. It isn't anything you're doing or not doing.

It’s not your fault. Call me old-fashioned, but a man should never shout and swear at a woman.
I think a lot of men don’t respect the apologetic approach and it actually makes them worse. They’re twats though.