So low

[Callmeback]

I am so low at the moment and completely stuck in a rut.
I'm single, live alone and couldn't have children. I'm 46, hate my job and I'm so lonely.

I live somewhere quiet and just haven't gelled with anyone in the area. I go for days without seeing anyone.

I worry about the future, my pension pot is pretty rubbish and I only have 10k of savings which may sound like a lot to some but in reality I need a new car and need to do some house repairs so it's then gone. I've worked so hard for over 20 years with nothing to show for it.

I need to lose 5 stone, I suspect insulin resistance. I'm unfit and look like a mess. My parents are in their 80s and definitely showing their age. It's so hard to imagine them not being around (I don't live with them obviously but we see each other regularly).

It's all well and good saying to myself: lose some weight, do some exercise, find a new job, move to a busier area etc but I've tried these things and nothing changes. I'm probably depressed but it's situational so medication won't help so no point going to the doctors. I definitely don't want to do therapy.

I just feel so worn down. Boredom and loneliness weigh heavily.

Sorry you’re struggling OP. This sounds very tough. Do you have hobbies or interests where you could meet people? Perhaps online if not near to where you live?

Sorry you're feeling so low. Could you join a walking group, that way you will be getting exercise and meeting people as well. Or slimming world? What do you like doing in your spare time?

Hello,

Sorry things are so tough for you. Could you try a few things:

• text one person you used to get a long with. "Thinking of you, how are things?'
• could you volunteer somewhere?
• could you ask ChatGpt what clubs to do in the area or what is in the nearest town. Any meet ups for people to socialise at?
• do consider therapy, they will help you come up with ways to make things better for yourself.

Try something like this - https://www.meetup.com/. Or ask ChatGpt what kind of things they have like this in your area.
All the best.

I think you're right that moving away won't help. I find you just take your baggage with you. Start with occupying your mind with an interesting hobby, then move on to appearance and gentle exercise.

I've tried a few things but I always just feel like an outsider. Never find my people.

I'm not fit enough for a walking group. I can't do any kind of distance or speed.

I emailed somewhere about volunteering last week and waiting to hear back so hopefully that can get started. Meetup is really poor in my town as it's not a big place and not really near any big places.

Hey, if it makes you feel better, I was just coming onto mumsnet for the first time in ages to make my own post about feeling a bit down.

My circumstances are different than yours; I've got a partner I love and 3 kids I am so grateful for, but I am finding my world has become very small and I live to look after them. I don't get much time to spend 1 on 1 with my partner, and my middle child is ADHD so very demanding and tiring.

I love them so much but just recently have started to feel like things are passing me by a bit. I don't do much outside of my little routine of taking the kids to school and clubs. I work from home but dont get to do too much actively with my partner because there is always work and then housework to do.

I also have about 5 stone to lose and that exacerbates things because I have lost the confidence to socialise or go out and do things outside of my comfort zone.

If you want a solidarity partner for the weight loss, I would be happy to keep in touch to encourage each other! I suspect improving my physical health would help a lot with my mental health, as anxiety is getting the better of me which is making my world feel smaller still.

Also could you talk more about moving areas not having worked before?

It honestly sounds like you're not going to live your best life in the place you are at. You don't have to move to a massive city to be in a better place, and life is too short to hate your job, especially if it's the majority of your activity and social contact at the moment.

It would be great to stay in touch and help each others weight loss journey.

I'm job hunting but I can't afford to be out of work so I'll have to stick with it until I find something.

I've lived in several different towns and cities but I rarely find my people unless it's through work. Unfortunately these days I can't even seem to do that.

I’m sorry OP, it does sound tough. I’m sure Mumsnet used to have a local meet up section; I wonder if it still exists. I often think there must be loads of posters near each other who could meet for coffee. We should resurrect it!

Sorry you’re feeling so fed up. I agree with you that at least some of it is situational. I would start small with doing some easy workouts on YouTube and boosting your fruit and veg intake. I would also start keeping an active eye out looking for new jobs.

If you like dogs it might be worth considering getting one. They are great for fitness and companionship and widening your local network.

Thanks for the ideas.