“I’m not a park mum”!

[cookies79]

I’ve come to the realisation that I’m just not a “park mum” 😅

I try, I really do… but I end up feeling overwhelmed more than anything. The noise, having to constantly be “on”, keeping an eye on everything, making sure they’re safe, engaged, not wandering off it just feels like a lot.

I see other mums who seem so relaxed, chatting away while their kids play, and I honestly don’t know how they do it. Meanwhile I’m counting down the time until we can leave without it seeming too soon.

Please tell me I’m not the only one who finds it a bit much?

Do you have to chat to people? We go to the park all the time. I don’t talk to anyone. 😂 I mean maybe if I saw someone I knew I’d give them a little wave and chat for 3 minutes. But mostly, I hang out with my dc or check my emails or read a book or have a coffee or we walk through the gardens and look at things.

I didn’t like them for myself but I loved that the kids loved them so much - loved all the equipment, loved meeting their friends, loved having a picnic there, loved getting an ice-cream from the van or the café - they have some really great happy memories of parklife. We were really lucky in that we had two top quality ones a few minutes walk from school so on a sunny day lots of us would go and the kids would tear round the place for an hour before heading home. One day you will go to the park and you won’t know it, but it will be the last time you go. It comes quickly, so don’t wish it away.

I didn't mind it with friends, but I used to get annoyed when their kids kept coming over to ask stuff. Fuck off, we're in the park. You go and play and we get to talk.

My kids knew this and it worked well.

I have 3 yr old twins that are really small for their age one is a risk taker and will want to tackle the largest climbing frame whilst the other wants to play on the swing wich is nearly always the other side of the park....I think I burn off more energy than they do dashing around and mentally exhausted after 30 mins of panicking

They’re not allowed in ours. It’s right next to a school and there are always parents there so no one ever flouts it.

People do bring their dogs to piss and shit on the school playing field though. That really pisses me off. And half of them are parents too!

I wouldn’t say it’s my favourite activity in the world but as parenting activities go I find it in the top few activities. Free, low pressure (can leave if no one’s feeling it without feeling guilty you’ve wasted money or time driving there), my kids love it, feel smug they’re off a screen for an hour or two, often get a takeaway coffee, I like it if I bump in to a mum I know personally. Far better than softplay which is physically more effort to supervise closely if the child is too young to be let loose alone. Infinitely better than sitting in the house listening to arguments about what should be in the tv, dealing with too much iPad time and watching the children make a huge mess.

i may be biased by a lovely trip in the sunshine this morning after months of sitting indoors in the rain.

Im ok with the park i struggle with large soft play when you can't see them. I just can't relax

Ah I used to love it! I was by no means a perfect mum or yummy mummy or whatever you would term it, but I loved parks and playgrounds - we'd go in all weathers and I'd seek out new ones all the time. I'm socially awkward but playgrounds were the one place I could chat easily with strangers, as long as they started it!

Even now (dc are 19 and 17) if we arrive somewhere with a lovely playground or drive past a new or updated one I'll say 'oh wow, look at that lovely playground, what a shame you're too old for it...' and they'll roll their eyes and laugh at me. And I remember being at one at a local attraction when dc were around 10/12 and they were building a new one next to it and I remember feeling sad knowing we would probably never go to it as by the time it was finished they would be too old, and we never did - sob!

I don’t hate it exactly but I don’t relish it either… I’m pragmatic really, I’m happy DC are out in the fresh air and having fun. I sometimes meet a friend or make a friend and that’s nice. I do judge my kids neighbourhood friends though as I’m often the only one to take them all to the park and the other parents don’t bother. I think it’s part of being a good parent really.

I was always like a meerkat and if anyone tried to engage me in conversation I would be trying to talk while not taking my eyes off the kids. And in soft play I'd panic if I hadn't seen them for five minutes and then have to try to look for them whilst also making sure they could see where I was. Quite often I'd just follow them around and then panic if they went in different directions. All the other mums just relaxed and drank coffee.

They're 21 and 23 now and I'm not much better

What do people do instead?!??

Why would you have to chat to other mums at parks or soft play?

I don’t mind it too much. My daughter is nearly 3 and half. She’s at the age where I do need to be near but can let her play. I can’t wait until I can sit and read a book while she is off. I’ve never stressed about heights and gaps and she is confident with them but obviously accidents can happen so I still need to hover around.

That's the same for me.

I survived by using quieter, smaller parks. Appreciate that may not necessarily be available to everyone but I hunted them out like a fiend. Also hated soft play.

That’s what I dislike as a granny. Not enough seating! And if there is any free, and it’s sunny, it’s bound to be in the shade!

I never felt the need to talk to anyone. My two dc would run off and occupy themselves and I would find a bench to sit on. Sometimes I'd set up with a picnic blanket and snacks/travel mug. But I was always quite happy to be in my own company - read a book or scroll on my phone. Better when it is nice summer weather.

I think it's the endless pressure to "watch" your child at all times and the constant judgement of anyone looking at their phone as a terrible mother. I don't really care what other people think of me, so at the park, my child plays and I sit on a bench, read the news, scroll social media and everyone is happy.

The same for me. Never enjoyed the park even on a sunny summer day.

I loved the park. My kids are now in their 20s and still walk in parks. I ended up getting a dog so I didn’t look insane walking without one. I think you either love it or you don’t!

It's not true, I will choose park every single time. My kids are 3 and 7 (with ADHD). Even when we have a tiny garden and quite big house - I always feel there is not enough space for them (they like running, ball games,etc). It's way easier to keep them outside than inside. I enjoy fresh air too. I'll never understand how other mums can stay entire week indoors.
Podcast, flask of coffee, doughnut on the blanket - wayyyy better than stay inside.

I always take some things on rotation (giant chalks, dinosaurs, cars,etc) to keep them busy there. Other mum at the park started to do the same - It's very different when kids have something to play rather than running crazy around.

I’ll happily watch all your kids in the park and swap you for indoor activities which I hate :)

Long held belief that like doing the bins, taking kids to the park is a man job.

DH is a great park dad, he can push kids in swings for ages, likes helping in the sandpit, no anxiety about the kids being way too high up. I get bored in minutes and keep imagining them trapping their fingers in the roundabout. 😱

I fucking hated the park. Every minute felt like a working day and that was before you threw in cold weather. We lived in Bath and the park was just overrun in nice weather, long queues to get on play equipment, grumpy people everywhere. Luckily, we had a big garden so I was more than happy to host play dates. The countryside was very accessible as well, so we had dogs that the kids loved going on long walks with and training for agility. I had a horse on livery at a riding school so I used to sign them up for all sorts of activities and lessons. Yes, it was expensive but I got to have a life at the same time and we all had fun together in a shared hobby that has lasted into adulthood. Worth every penny. Their dogs both died last year and my DDs are in their early twenties, they spent every minute they could with those dogs and had enormous fun with them. We spent every weekend and most evenings out of the house but never at the park unless they were on a play date!

Yep!

I don’t love it but my kid does and him being happy makes me happy. My mum and dad took me so I can make the effort and take him for the short time in life he wants to go.