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Why do people reject Islam?

426 replies

SplodgeWaddler · 21/03/2026 09:33

Just curious really. A lovely colleague of mine used to be a Muslim but was quite vocal in telling us she was no longer a Muslim. It was a clear, decisive rejection of the religion and not just a lapse of faith.

Has anyone done similar, I'd love to know your reasons.

There were many Muslim girls at my school, some of whom had massively restricted prospects in life. One girl (who was a bit wild) told us she was worried that she was going to be forced into an arranged marriage. She just didn't come back one day, she was under 16.

Things do seem to have moved on since then though but there still seems to be huge variation.

OP posts:
inamarina · 21/03/2026 20:19

OrdinaryMagicOfAcorns · 21/03/2026 19:42

She didn’t actually. She described enjoying the fact that the only people to see her hair would be her father , brothers and husband. No mention of mother, sisters, daughters.

If the hijab basically exists to titillate the men that’s a new interpretation to me and makes it more of an abhorrent piece of clothing, along with mini skirts and make up.

She did mention women being allowed to “enjoy” her hair, along with all the male family members. I know what you mean though.
Personally, I find the objectification of hair really odd. It would never occur to me to think that other women or my husband might be “enjoying” my hair or that other men might be wondering what colour it could possibly be.
I mean, it’s just hair.

TY78910 · 21/03/2026 20:26

Nosejobnelly · 21/03/2026 12:17

What do you think orthodox Jewish woman can or can’t do?

Orthodox Jewish women adhere to
halacha (Jewish law), focusing on three core mitzvot: niddah (ritual purity laws), challah (separating dough), and nerot(lighting Shabbat candles). Key requirements include modest dress (tzniut)—covering knees, elbows, and collarbones—and covering hair after marriage.

Key Mitzvot (Commandments) Specific to Women

  • Niddah & Mikveh: Refraining from physical contact with husbands during menstruation and for seven days after, culminating in immersion in a ritual bath (mikveh).
  • Nerot (Candle Lighting): Kindling lights to welcome Shabbat and holidays.
  • Challah: Separating a portion of dough when baking bread.

Modesty (Tzniut) and Lifestyle Rules

  • Hair Covering: Married women must cover their hair, typically using a sheitel (wig), scarf, or hat.
  • Dress Code: Clothing must cover knees, elbows, and collarbones; trousers are generally not worn, and skirts/dresses are preferred.
  • Socializing: Adherence to Negiah (no physical contact with members of the opposite sex, other than immediate family).

Religious and Cultural Practices

  • Kashrut: Maintaining a strictly kosher home, which is traditionally overseen by the woman.
  • Family & Education: Transmitting Jewish traditions and Torah knowledge, with a strong emphasis on raising families.

While some practices differ between Modern Orthodox and Hasidic communities, these are foundational components of religious observance.

Fairyliz · 21/03/2026 20:32

Because they realise how stupid it is to live your life following rules ‘made up’ by a non existent sky fairy.
It’s absolutely bizarre when you think about it, you would think I was crazy if I believed in little green men talking to me but people follow religion without questioning it.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

1415isgreat · 21/03/2026 22:44

inamarina · 21/03/2026 17:00

Shorts and dresses are individual preferences, people wear them all over the world, irrespective of their culture/ religion. Face veils aren’t universal in the same way.
What is it that prompts specifically Muslim women to go for the face covering?

So this can be an individual preference too.

Some women interpret the part of the Quran where it tells women to cover as obligatory to cover the face, whereas others interpret it as cover the hair. Some people choose to wear it themselves with no family influence. Some women may be forced to wear it which is a shame. In some countries it is the cultural norm such as Saudi Arabia. Although a minority, face veils definitely exist in many countries where there are Muslim populations and so can be normal for them - just because its not normal for you doesn’t mean its not the norm for Muslim populations either.

Gwenhwyfar · 21/03/2026 22:50

PrincessOfPreschool · 21/03/2026 13:37

This. I've known smoking and drinking Muslims who never go to Mosque but would do Ramadan. Others who started very 'mild' eg. No head covering, but then got more 'religious' - hijab, covered arms/ legs.

You can be any sort of Muslim just like you can be any sort of Christian ranging from no sex before marriage and giving 10% salary to church, versus those go for midnight mass once a year.

Exactly and same goes for any religion.

1415isgreat · 21/03/2026 22:54

Labelledelune · 21/03/2026 17:35

Islam is not a race it’s a backward ideology that does not fit in with Western Values.

It is a way of life for some of us that live in the western world ☺️

Gwenhwyfar · 21/03/2026 22:56

" It would never occur to me to think that other women or my husband might be “enjoying” my hair or that other men might be wondering what colour it could possibly be.
I mean, it’s just hair."

To be fair, this is part of Christian and just general Western culture too. There have long been different traditions like married women having to cover their hair and unmarried women not in many different cultures.

EmpressaurusKitty · 22/03/2026 05:19

I dont wear hijab because men cant control their sexual urges. Muslim men aren't sex mad men who cant control themselves when they see a woman with her hair out. Hijab is simply there as well as modesty as an identity.

I was thinking of the likes of the Taliban & the men who support them with my castration comment. I really don’t think any fate would be too bad for men who treat women as they do.

Youshouldbestrongerthanme · 22/03/2026 10:30

I don't understand how anyone can argue the faith doesn't supoort misyogny?
Just a few...women are encouraged to dress modestly but no such requests for men, men are seen as more valued re prayer in a mosque (praying at home is preferable for women), women at home pray behind men...the list goes on.
And yes, I agree that a number of religions treat men and women unequally. One of the reasons I'm an atheist.

RainbowBagels · 22/03/2026 10:57

Some women may be forced to wear it which is a shame

There's no ' maybe' about it. Women have been killed for showing their hair. That's more than a shame.

inamarina · 22/03/2026 11:33

1415isgreat · 21/03/2026 22:44

So this can be an individual preference too.

Some women interpret the part of the Quran where it tells women to cover as obligatory to cover the face, whereas others interpret it as cover the hair. Some people choose to wear it themselves with no family influence. Some women may be forced to wear it which is a shame. In some countries it is the cultural norm such as Saudi Arabia. Although a minority, face veils definitely exist in many countries where there are Muslim populations and so can be normal for them - just because its not normal for you doesn’t mean its not the norm for Muslim populations either.

“Some women might be forced to wear them” is quite an understatement.

Judgejudysno1fan · 22/03/2026 11:48

EmpressaurusKitty · 22/03/2026 05:19

I dont wear hijab because men cant control their sexual urges. Muslim men aren't sex mad men who cant control themselves when they see a woman with her hair out. Hijab is simply there as well as modesty as an identity.

I was thinking of the likes of the Taliban & the men who support them with my castration comment. I really don’t think any fate would be too bad for men who treat women as they do.

I agree, they're very backward and bizzare and go against the very teachings of islam.

Judgejudysno1fan · 22/03/2026 11:50

Newsflash if the quran teaches kindness to women/wives/mothers and female children. Then if anyone does something against that then its them who are the problem.

There is a huge problem in the world with rape and domestic violence with men of all religions, walks of life, cultures and ethnicity. Its the MEN who are the PROBLEM

its like saying the priests from catholic churches whom abused boys are scumbags let's blame the whole churches, no. Blame the individual not the whole mankind/the whole of one religion.

Judgejudysno1fan · 22/03/2026 11:50

RainbowBagels · 22/03/2026 10:57

Some women may be forced to wear it which is a shame

There's no ' maybe' about it. Women have been killed for showing their hair. That's more than a shame.

As a Muslim, thats disgusting and awful.

Bryonyberries · 22/03/2026 11:55

I don’t know a lot about it but I see Islamic countries as more a cultural way of life not just religious, so to reject it in those countries must be very difficult. If people have grown up in this country where the culture isn’t Islamic based then, like any religion in a country like ours, it will be more belief based and easier to choose if you wish to follow it or not.

suburburban · 22/03/2026 12:03

I prefer Christianity and the freedom and security it offers

Islam seems very rigid in comparison and there has been no reformation but I realise others will feel differently

1415isgreat · 22/03/2026 12:06

inamarina · 22/03/2026 11:33

“Some women might be forced to wear them” is quite an understatement.

Yeah, that’s what you think as an outsider. You can’t speak for every single Muslim population around the world by meeting 5 people in your life - you just can’t.

Judgejudysno1fan · 22/03/2026 13:11

suburburban · 22/03/2026 12:03

I prefer Christianity and the freedom and security it offers

Islam seems very rigid in comparison and there has been no reformation but I realise others will feel differently

Edited

Maybe you should look up violence in the bible including the city of Amalek in Samuel about killing everyone, women , children, newborn, animals, the lot.
And also that if a man rapes a woman but pays the father 50 shekels he can marry her. Yuck.

suburburban · 22/03/2026 13:16

Judgejudysno1fan · 22/03/2026 13:11

Maybe you should look up violence in the bible including the city of Amalek in Samuel about killing everyone, women , children, newborn, animals, the lot.
And also that if a man rapes a woman but pays the father 50 shekels he can marry her. Yuck.

Yes I understand but the OT is there to show us what went wrong and I agree it was awful

are you referring to Genesis about the rape?

New testament is very different

The13thFairy · 22/03/2026 13:26

Holdmybeermoment · 21/03/2026 10:15

My boyfriend was raised catholic. He isn’t catholic anymore. Quite abhors the Catholic Church actually, given how bigoted and amoral they are. Should we have a thread about that as well? Or just Islam?

Actually, in a Muslim country, you will likely be killed for renouncing Islam, and it's only a civil offence, like a parking ticket.

Vivaea · 22/03/2026 14:01

It’s not really comparable with Christianity. Old Testament can be placed in historical context, it made sense with the thinking of the time and has been replaced with less barbaric practices. Christianity has evolved.

The Quran is believed to be the literal word of God and the final revelation, so incredibly hard to change any part of it. Although interpretations vary depending on whether certain passages are specific to that particular society at that time or can be used in modern society. The ones about Jihad for example; majority of Muslims see that as instructions to the people of Medina fighting their oppressors but you also have extremists reading those and killing innocents today.

TiredShadows · 22/03/2026 15:03

I'm an apostate, I enjoy talking with other apostates from different faiths and there are a lot of reasons, most of us have more than one. The main ones I've seen are:
-- they experienced abuse within and/or was supported by the faith and their abusers were protected by the powers within the faith group.
-- they saw how abuse of others was supported by the faith and were unable to help because the abusers were protected.
-- they came across something in their studies that pushes them to feel they can no longer support and be part of the faith. Reading certain religion writings about women is not an uncommon part of it for both women and men.
-- it just fizzle out - nothing significant happened, the faith just no longer fit, they no longer feel a connection it it. This group doesn't tend to view themselves or be called apostates as they're not usually deeply in a religious community, but this counts I think for why many people reject the faith they grew up in.

I also covered my hair for over a decade, and I stopped through a combination of studying the history of headcovering culturally over the centuries combined with realizing that even covered neck to toe, if a man knocked at my door and my hair wasn't covered, I'd feel naked and really anxious. I didn't want that either for myself or for my daughters. While part of it was rational - the history of it isn't great - it was mainly from unravelling an emotional gut punch.

The age of Aisha is disputed as in those days women / girls matured and went through puberty quicker.

While there is dispute around Aisha's age by modern scholars - there is no evidence for this common assertion that girls used to develop faster and that would not be an argument for the older age, it's an argument that she was younger but more mature. Wider writings of around this time do not support the idea of earlier maturing, nor does biology - if anything they would more likely to go through puberty later and take longer to develop with food being more scarce and under more physical stress in surviving than those of us with modern conveniences have now.

There is no paedophilia in islam. If it was, it wpulsbt be the fastest growing religion my friend

A religious group growing doesn't mean it doesn't have significant flaws. It typically means it is growing in power and being part of the powerful group has benefits, if only in being part of that community. It can also be because a particular group is actively promoting itself compared to other faiths and, as pp have said, be about difference in birth rate.

Every group has bad people in it. Every group has abusers. Going on that there is no paedophillia or slavery when there are obvious examples of it within a group doesn't make them go away, it makes it so those who've suffered it feel they're not allowed to talk about it.

Aisha was already having her menstrual cycles and was year's ahead in knowledge and education.

This is not evidence against the traditional claim that she was a child. Children can and do menstruate. Some forms of Islam and other religions treat having a menstrual cycle as signifier of a woman regardless of age. They are wrong. It is very important we speak out against that concept - it's been used by religious scholars of multiple faiths, Islam included, to promote significant harm to girls. Erasing they are girls is part of how that harm is perpetuated.

You are describing an extreme fundamental oppressive regime not the Muslim faith. You need to stop equating the two.

Those oppressive regimes are using a religion and are supported by religious infrastructures to perpetuate harm.

While it is true and a basic of religious literacy that all faiths are internally diverse and they change over time and place so we shouldn't presume one group of Muslims is just like another group of Muslims, it's also true that religion is interwoven into the culture it is practiced in and we cannot meaningfully separate the two. We cannot equate the two, but attempting to entirely separate them is inaccurate and only benefits abusers - it erases how the faith and the power that its systems wield are part of how that abuse is allowed to be perpetuated.

That kind of abuse is a large part of why I'm an apostate - growing up in a family with a lot of religious power, I saw a lot of it and the religion plays a key role, as much as local culture, in how they could do it with little to no consequence to themselves. Saying 'that's not the faith' is basically telling victims of religious abuse that we should shut up and ignore the role religion played in our abuse. It is part of it, in every faith group, and in all of them there are people working hard to put an end to it, to support victims, to challenge power at risk to themselves - we can acknowledge those people without erasing the role faith plays into both the good and the bad of it.

EvieBB · 22/03/2026 20:45

1415isgreat · 21/03/2026 16:48

Why do some people wear shorts whilst some choose to wear dresses?

Edited

Shorts and dresses are both culturally British clothes......hijab is not

Rosepalmaviolets · 22/03/2026 20:53

I didn't realise one could reject Islam, I thought the religion itself/strength of community banned leaving it ,so I'm heartened to learn that people can leave and reject it as freely as we in the UK can reject any other religion.

RainbowBagels · 22/03/2026 21:50

Rosepalmaviolets · 22/03/2026 20:53

I didn't realise one could reject Islam, I thought the religion itself/strength of community banned leaving it ,so I'm heartened to learn that people can leave and reject it as freely as we in the UK can reject any other religion.

I don't think that's true. Some people do it, but they are largely ostracised from their family. It's very difficult to do.

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