Husband working from home is disrupting my afternoon focus

[sabrica]

I am getting flash backs to lockdowns this week! My DH usually is in the office or 4 days a week and that works well for us. I am self employed and have always worked from my home studio. This past two weeks he has been at home all the time due to repairs that are ongoing in his office block.

In many ways its fine but once it gets to 3pm mentally he's kind of done, he's easily distracted and begins wandering around the house and popping into my studio every 20 minutes or so. I on the other hand am usually at my most focused and energetic mid to late afternoon and its when I get a lot of work done but my DH is just in and out of here like a yoyo and I'm now also done and it's been this way for two weeks now!

Its also annoying as I am less focused in the am and so I prefer to get stuff done round the house like meal prep, cleaning and so on before settling down to work in the second half of the morning but as he is at home and that is his good time to work I can't make that kind of noise or it disturbs him.

He'll be back in the office next week at some point but just wanted to vent a bit here!

Just remind yourself it's only temporary. Ban him from your office until you've finished, sign on the door if needed. Give him household tasks to keep him occupied if he has so much excess energy - or send him to do the shopping! Men can be like toddlers sometimes. They literally need to be entertained!

Just shut your studio door, he’s an adult not a child!

Get him to do the meal prep and cleaning post 3pm instead of popping into your studio, and get a lock on the door.

Did you tell him to stop walking in and out of the room you're in? Sounds like a toddler, that would irritate me.

The problem is that he is still technically mean to be "working" up until 5.30pm so he can't really clock off and actually do something else until then. He is just distracted and can't stay in his seat, I can hear him walking about downstairs now. This is why he is now mostly back in the office because he works better there. @TheDenimPoet You are right this is only temporary!

Why can't you both work 9 to 5 and agree that you won't visit the other in that time. You'll both be working outside your preferred hours but it's a compromise.

Rooms have doors, use them. You have a voice, use it. It's only temporary anyway.

Lock the door. If that’s not possible, wedge a chair under the handle

@aBuffetofunreasonableness Yes I did tell him that this was my focus time but he just gets so antsy when he's home in the late afternoon, especially when he is home day after day. He just isn't great a structuring himself. I told him to go away yesterday and he looked a bit hurt.

I think because my work is art based he thinks it is easy and fun but I have deadlines and detailed, focused work I need to do to. Its very hard to do highly detailed section of an illustration or painting with constant interruptions.

Or just tell him to behave like an adult and lock your door. It’s not your job to manage him.

This.

I couldn't be with someone who disrespected my perfectly reasonable requests, or was so immature he couldn't regulate his own emotions for a couple of hours. Would be like living with a 5 year old. Did you actually have a discussion with him about it?

Fuck looking a bit hurt. How hurt would you look if he told you to go away the nth time you wandered around his study?

Only if they're totally inadequate men. Normal men don't need to be entertained or managed, they are able to do that themselves.

Repairs in March, what a surprise. At least he has had a fortnight away from the roadworks that are the result of mismanagement by utilities and local authorities, because they cannot plan spending a budget properly. Malpractice.

Creative industries are not recognised in the way they should be, and I agree with you that your DH has been unreasonable though.

Another man with no respect for his partners job. I’d be showing him antsy and no I won’t give my partner jobs to do like he’s, he needs to grow up. Men might think they should be entertained and some women (with 1950’s attitudes) might agree but they don’t, they are adults.

DH is a musician. Do I interrupt him when he's practicing some tricky classical piece or transposing something into another key? No I don't. He's concentrating. Interrupting someone's artistic train of thought is a really annoying thing to do.

I absolutely lost my shit with DH a few weeks ago when he started preparing breakfast at 9am when I was studying at the kitchen table. Encroaching on my space to concentrate when I had all my stuff set up before 9am. We sorted it out but I completely get what you mean OP. You need to be left in peace to concentrate!