What happens in this shit situation: Needing a poo then getting in a car crash?

[TeaSqueezingpos]

sigh

So on my way home from the school run this morning, I was pretty desperate to get home, my coffee had worked itself around my system and I now definitely needed a poo (not the runs, just desperate for a poo)

anyway, on my travels on a narrow, green lane road 60mph, someone can absolutely bombing towards me, car all over the road on my side.. and I got a bit scared that I was absolutely about to be wiped out.

I wasn’t, thankfully. But it did have me wondering.. what happens if you’re in a pretty bad wreck but you really needed a poo beforehand? Does the poo just have to wait until you’ve recovered. Does your body just poop it out while waiting for EMS? Do they give you a clean out at the hospital while undergoing treatment/checks? What if you’ve got a spinal injury and you can just get up and go to the toilet?

or do you just come home after recovery with the most horrendous constipation of your life?

They'll usually appoint a surrogate who can shit on your behalf until you are recovered.

I think you would shit yourself in a bad accident. I'm sure the paramedics and hospital staff wouldn't turn a blind eye and clean you up. Not sure what happens after that. If you're waiting for treatment you'd go to the toilet or they'd bring you a bed pan, I suppose.

I've wondered whether they'd change my HRT patches if I was in a coma.

😳

I have wished that you could get someone to go for a pee for you when you can't be arsed to get off the sofa.

I think you'd shit yourself if you got into a bad crash regardless of whether you needed to poo or not!

This morning my husband offered his mouth and stomach to eat my breakfast for me if I couldn't be bothered to eat it myself. Very thoughtful of him.

Depends on the severity of crash/injuries. If you die, any wee or poo in you generally leaks out when you're gone anyway. If alive and you lose control of your functions, it will have been seen by first responders many times before.

If a minor crash and the other party is around - "excuse me for a moment!", open furthest front and rear doors, squat between, go, kick into hedge, wipe shoes, back up, "I'm terribly sorry about that. Are you OK?". Job, quite literally, done.

Bucket, hose, Tena, upholstered commode...

There are any number of viable solutions to this pressing problem.

This happened to me with a wee. I had driven for 30 minutes, was 10 from home and fairly desperate. Then someone drove into me, sending me into a spin before I crashed and wrote off my car. Realised several hours later I hadn't ever gone for that wee - my body definitely was worrying about other things!

The poo troll is feeling particularly inventive lately!

I think having a poo would be the last thing you would be worrying about if you were in a serious car crash ffs

I advise not sharing poo or wee stories...

I swear I’m not a troll just thought about it and realised there’s no answer that I’d be happy with.. shit myself.. shit leaks out.. hold it in… or squat between the doors and kick it into the hedges 🤣 absolutely crying that the last one

Imagine the paramedic handover in A&E…

“44 year old female, GCS 3, BP 112/90, pulse 101. Head injury with two inch laceration to the left temple, query fracture to right femur, has had 5ml morphine…oh, and she’s shit herself…”

I think it’s really important to discuss these important issues in life.

You would shit yourself within a nanosecond of impact.

🤣 ffs LOL

Somebody I know once had a pee out of a hot air balloon

I bet it was a bloke. Much easier than if you have to hang your arse over the edge of the basket!

Happens all the time though.

People are talking like this would be a really unique or niche situation but it is just bread and butter emergency care work. How do you think people who have laid on the floor all weekend til the post person finds them, or have had a fit after hitting their head falling down the stairs, or who live alone and trip in the garden and stay there all night til a neighbour hears their cries, cope? People either consciously or unconsciously have to wet themselves and the body is fairly quick to let go of poo too.

Whilst the poo trolls will be rubbing their thighs at this thread, no paramedic or nurse would even think twice about 'think they need cleaning up' being part of a handover.

Medics, nurses etc are well used to body fluids like wee blood, etc., and poo, but their priority is to save lives. Anything else they will deal with after

XDownwiththissortofthingX

OMG! Bloody hell!

I love your humour!

MORE! MORE!

Well obviously. And I have a lot of respect for our emergency services. But I was making a joke. To make people smile. Because it’s a lighthearted thread.

If your body needed to go, you would go. Whether you’re conscious or not.

I can state from experience that a very kind nurse in A&E will bring you a bed pan