This is probably going to sound like a silly thing to ask because my son is still quite young but I found myself thinking today about posts I've read recently where adult children don't want to come back to their parents for special holidays -particularly sons - and it got me thinking about ds. It's just me and him. Ideally I'd have loved to have a big family but his dad let us down badly and then raising ds alone was my priority and it doesn't look like more children will ever be in the cards for me now which I'll be honest I'm really sad about but I'd prefer that and raising ds well and in peace than risking bringing the wrong man into his life.
So realistically it'll probably just be the two of us for special occasions. Now he's young it's easy to make things special like Christmas and Easter etc, but then I think about when he's older, if he decides to have a family of his own eventually and how different it would be having Christmas for example with just me, as opposed to with in laws and a bigger family unit and all the fun and socialising that naturally comes with that.
I used to love Xmas at my in laws because it was a big family gathering, lots of games and laughter and fun and by comparison my family is very small and Christmas is really dictated by the TV and is very quiet.
If you are a lone parent to older kids or adult kids, or if you were raised by a lone parent how do you (or did they) continue to make occasions like this special and fun and enjoyable so that they actively want to be there when they have other offers?
I'd hate to feel like an obligation for ds, will raise him to prioritise any family he has and to be responsible for himself and obviously who knows what the future will hold but it's been on my mind. We've got a couple of Christmas's over us since my marriage ended and I've worked hard to make them really special, but when I pictured what it would look like for us, this is just not what I ever had in mind and I feel a bit guilty for that even though I know its not my fault logically.