Managing hitting and throwing in a frustrated 2.5 year old with autism

[Leabee1234]

Aggression - hitting and throwing things

Hi so my 2.5 year old is on pathway to being diagnosed. I am really struggling with his behaviour at the moment if he feels frustrated or overwhemled or just randomly he will come up and hit me several times hard too. He also headbutts. He is doing this to anyone in sight so we have been away with his cousins over the weekend and he was just hitting them repeatedly if he was even a little bit frustrated. He also throws things when frustrated and picks anytjing up throws it over his shoulder and some items can be hard

When he is hitting I try to tell him no he does not listen. I have to restrain him sometimes as he will just attack and not stop

He is quite strong for his age too so its becoming a problem and Im worried as he gets older this will become worse as he gets bigger. Will he grow out of the hitting and throwing?

He is not completely non verbal but he cannot communicate. He says alot of words and repeats but cannot have a conversation

Have you tried teaching him some simple sign language?

I think the thing to remember is that even if your DS got a diagnosis tomorrow then his behaviour won't just change. Things maybe have changed no but when DS was diagnosed many years ago it was a case of - yes they are autistic. and that was it. no support. So start working now as if he were autistic and trying to find out what works for you/him.
When DS was 2 he kicked a door off its hinges when he was angry and frustrated. I learnt to wrap him up in a duvet when he was hitting and kicking, so it didn't hurt me so bad and he didn't damage things in the house either. He probably didn't stop hitting or kicking me fully until he was about 9 or 10. But it was worst at 2-4ish as he wasn't very verbal and he was struggling to communicate. He head butted the ground even when he was a little baby, looking back it was probably a stimming behaviour as it stopped as he started other stims as a toddler.
I would imagine he won't just magically 'grow out of it' you will need to teach him how to not do it. But you can't do that at the time when he is frustrated but by very slow and gentle teaching inbetween times. And part of that is of course you also learning what is frustrating him and helping him before he gets frustrated.

Good advice. Mine was like that at 2.5, and diagnosed by 3. Try to identify his triggers (I won’t lie, this takes some detective work. Back in the day I was given a bit of paper called an antecedent behaviour chart, which I never had time to look at, but it did start me off thinking about patterns and triggers).
He is still very small so don’t expect miracles quickly. The duvet idea is a good one. I used to just sit my kid between my legs and wrap my legs over his and my arms over his, luckily he wasn’t able tohead butt me, and we’d stay like that with me rocking him and making soothing noise until he calmed down. Looking at him now as an adult with job and a girlfriend it’s hard to believe he was that challenging !
definitely don’t wait for a diagnosis, start acting now. There is so much more information out there. We always used to,say, if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, treat it like a duck!

Mine did. He was a large (out of a 5 point harness at 2) child and very strong. By 4 I had difficulty with the sitting behind him and wrapping my legs and arms around him to rock him without getting hurt. Totally unorthodox but we introduced a hitting cushion on the sofa. That was the only thing he was allowed to hit - first we directed him to it and then after several months there were consequences he hit anything else (I.e. me or his sister). When he got a bit older we got him one of those child punch bags. Again, that was the only thing he was allowed to hit. By 8-9 he didn't really use it any more as he was better at communicating what was upsetting him.

Throwing - we tried with soft balls for indoors but in the end had to implement a no throwing indoors rule and just took him out regularly to throw a a ball around etc We got him one of those mini basketball hoops.

Try teaching some signs - makaton or baby signing, the ability to communicate makes a big difference to frustration levels.

also triggers as above