Help with swearing SEN child

[Notanotherusername2626]

I am mortified but our partially verbal autistic child (7) has been swearing at school.

We are restrictive with screens but can only imagine they have read this, it’s absolutely not language they would hear at home.

I am really at a loss as to how though. We have parental locks and even the broadband has blocks on it.

We have removed all personal screens and they can now only use the main tv which we would be able to see as it’s in the living room.

There is the understanding they will get a reaction but not that they shouldn’t say it. I’m really struggling with what to do.

Any other sen parents been through this? What approach worked?

I feel like a terrible parent and it’s really got to me.

I know you think it’s screens but they have probably heard the words at school. Some children may even be actively telling them to say things to get them into trouble. I’ve seen this a lot!
You could write a social story about swearing. The SENCO should be able to help. You will find one online but it needs to be bespoke.
Another strategy is to write down the words that are being used ( sometimes this is a shock factor especially as they get older) and others that can be used instead ( non swear words) and sort into red and green words. Either use red and green pens or red and green paper to sort onto.
A reminder can then be given. No red words.
Please don’t blame yourself.

It's really not that big of a deal. You sound ashamed, don't be. They'll have heard it at school definitely. Don't be so hard on yourself or them, swearing is very normal in all cultures throughout history. It's a human thing to have taboo words and to use them to shock and exclaim. We just learn when it's acceptable and when it isn't depending on the expectations of the people around us and our family's values. Your DC might take longer to learn, but so what. Treat it like any other behaviour you don't like, whatever strategies you use for standing on the sofa or jumping on the bed, do the same. But don't react like it's a big deal

They almost certainly learnt it at school.

Thank you.

They are in a specialist setting so there aren’t many verbal children.

However, my DH did just say he heard one of the words repeatedly in ALDI the other day so it’s possible.

My sense of guilt about this is immense.

I think it’s because he’s SEN and I panic they’ll think he’s not well looked after and he really is! But I know that’s me making it catastrophic in my head.

I had an awful upbringing so I am perhaps oversensitive about my parenting flaws.

Especially in a specialist setting they will have heard it all before believe me. Hopefully school staff will reassure you.
Might just be a phase. Seriously don’t blame yourself or feel bad.