Would you expect your partner to say something on Mother's Day?

[Parsleyforme]

(TW for loss of parent)

My mum and dad both passed away when I was in my 20s (early 30s now and no kids). My mum died suddenly in an accident which was very difficult. I've been having a bit of a hard time recently and a friend messaged me earlier to tell me she was thinking of me today which I really appreciate. But it made me realise none of my boyfriends have ever said something kind on Mother's or Father's Day or checked in specifically to see how I'm feeling. They will avoid talking about it to the point they hide that they're spending time with their own parent, which is probably done out of care, but makes me feel a bit weird. Would you expect your boyfriend or partner to say something nice on these days or is totally ignoring it what most people would do?

I think it depends how established/close the relationship is. I could see where someone you’re quite newly with/dating would maybe think that not mentioning it is best so as not to upset you, if they don’t know what to say. Whereas if it was me, my husband & I have been together for a long time and know each other very well, I think if I was in your shoes he knows me well enough to know that I would want some kind of comment, an opportunity to chat about them, or just some acknowledgement that the day would be hard. It’s a level of closeness and understanding though that I don’t think a newer partner would probably have.

I presume he either feels a bit awkward and doesn’t know what to say or just doesn’t say anything about Mother’s Day at all because it doesn’t really register with him as being something you’d ’do’ as your mum has died?

You mean you aren’t a parent? Then no, why would they? My parents are dead and it would never occur to me that anyone would say anything. My children’s dad died when they were little and certainly no one says anything to them on Fathers Day. That would be kinda weird.

As someone who’s lost their father I wouldn’t expect anyone to say anything to me on Father’s Day and they don’t.

No i wouldn't expect a partner to mention it. Without kids mothers day is a big nothingness, especially if your parents are no longer here.

I think most men are avoidant so woudnt want it mentioned to them, and are applying the man logic to
you.
I think you should be able
yo tell your partner ‘I’m having a tough time today I miss my mum I’d love a cuddle and to talk about her’ and if he’s not up for that he doesn’t care about your heart

A person you lived with or a very long term partner who knew the pattern of you struggling on the day, I would expect them to be prepared to offer support. I person without that viewed experience, no.

grief hits randomly anyway. I’m just as likely to be found crying about my mother’s death on a random Tuesday than on a specific holiday.

I suppose just an acknowledgement that someone you love might be having a particularly sad day while you or other people get to see someone that person has lost. When my friend reached out it felt very caring and obviously it’s nice to have caring boyfriends. But sounds like it’s not a normal thing in relationships unless you’ve been together for a long time