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Original poster

Husband lost his job. His fault but he had good intentions. We are both deeply upset. Please help.

296 replies

user1471433754 · 15/03/2026 10:21

My husband's boss phoned him a fortnight ago, and told him to stand down and to hand his laptop in to HQ the following day. My husband was so shocked, we didn't know what was happening. We were in a distressed state as he's contract and won't get paid either.
After over a week, of not sleeping, eating, desperately worried, we received a very aggressive lawyers letter from the company. It accused him of downloading documents to his private e mail to read. Husband did do this, they weren't sensitive but he did do it so he could read them at night, and deleted them right after. He honestly didn't realise he was doing wrong. He was doing his best to help his team and get the work done. He's always known for getting jobs done and been told he's a great asset.
Back story to this is, I've been very ill the last year. I nearly died, also lots of illness on my part, mental breakdown, 2 operations, serious illness. He was trying to look after me and do his job at the same time in the evening. He's now been dismissed. Looks like we are going to have to pay both sides legal fees, but he has no job, I can't work. We speak to a lawyer tmro.
He has been foolish, but he did it with the best of intentions to get the work done. We are early sixties and so distressed, I'm worried he will have a heart attack. He's cried non stop, he is horrified, ashamed, embarrassed. Please be kind x

OP posts:
Atatwalker · 15/03/2026 11:53

Sassylovesbooks · 15/03/2026 11:48

Does your husband work for a company where he needs security clearance? Is he bound by the official secrets act at all? Does he have a copy of his contract? Is there anything within his contract that specifically states that he's not to download work related documents to a personal device?

The company have decided that your husband has committed 'gross misconduct'. However, I find it odd that he was told to hand in his laptop and there was no discussion. I could understand him being asked to hand his laptop over and suspended, pending an investigation. Once he'd been spoken to and they'd investigated, then dismissing him.

Why are solicitors involved? Are they claiming for a breech in contract?

If he's downloaded work related documents to his personal laptop, regardless if they contain sensitive information or not, your husband's ex employer has no idea if he's passed that documentation onto another party. So I can understand why he's been sacked.

why would they suspend a contractor? He’s not an employee.

Atatwalker · 15/03/2026 11:55

clarrylove · 15/03/2026 11:53

He's a contractor, not an employee. It is not his job, dismissal doesn't apply etc, it's a service delivery contract. One with multiple contracts by the sounds of it. His contract has been terminated. They can do that for any reason, it's not the same as being an employee and doesn't give the same rights. It sounds as though he has stolen company data. As a contractor, he must have insurance though, so if they pursue legal action he should be covered that way. I don't buy the 'he didn't realise' line. Sorry. No contractor is that naive.

Edited

Good point re insurance.

and tbh I don’t really buy it either. Especially with the related “sideline”.

Muffinmam · 15/03/2026 11:56

ValidPistachio · 15/03/2026 10:22

Why are there legal fees to pay?

Exactly.

It isn’t usual for a party to pay legal fees in this manner.

Did the company take civil action against your husband?

Why on earth would you pay?

There needs to be a reason. There needs to be a policy that your husband clearly contravened.

If this were me I would report the solicitor to the relevant practice board. But I would take legal advice first.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Jobs
XDownwiththissortofthingX · 15/03/2026 11:56

This is right. It sounds like they're threatening a claim for breach of confidentiality. From their perspective, you can understand why they'd be worried about what your husband would do with their confidential information, OP

This is how it reads to me.

As far as the company is concerned, they only know there has been a serious security lapse and their IP has been sent somewhere it shouldn't have. They only have DH's word that all he did was email it to himself. They can't be certain DH's own devices are secure and not riddled with spyware, vulnerabilities, keyloggers etc. From their perspective he could have been sending it absolutely anywhere, to absolutely anyone, competitors, the media, anyone, not necessarily intentionally either, so they have probably instructed their lawyers to instigate proceedings to ascertain the facts and ensure everything is recovered. They won't just take DH's word.

Delphiniumandlupins · 15/03/2026 11:58

As much as possible try to separate your emotions from what has happened. Your DH has made a serious mistake but you are getting legal advice on the next steps. Are you financially secure for the next month? Longer? Think about what income or savings you can live on. Neither of you are going to be able to absorb what your lawyer says unless you are calmer so it would be good if you can go with him (or a trusted friend/family member) and take notes. Your DH has been stressed with all your health issues but he needs all his courage now to accept what he has done and plan how to move forward.

Blueskiesnotgrey · 15/03/2026 11:58

And if he is indeed a contractor, not an employee, he will have professional indemnity insurance that should pay for any legal costs if they do decide to take action.

Is he definitely a self-employed contractor OP and not an actual e.ployee of the company that has just let him go?

Jollyhockeystickss · 15/03/2026 11:58

user1471433754 · 15/03/2026 11:40

No, sorry, there is definitely more than that. There is a breach of data, must be sensitive at some points and he hasn't realised. I don't know. I don't know what I'm asking for at all here. Just been so upset.

Stop sticking up for him he knew perfectly well what he was doing hes not a child, life is hard for everyone but unfortunately life has rules , would you be happy if your DR took your paper health notes home to read and left them on the coffee table, he knew what he was doing he just got caught

Atatwalker · 15/03/2026 11:59

XDownwiththissortofthingX · 15/03/2026 11:56

This is right. It sounds like they're threatening a claim for breach of confidentiality. From their perspective, you can understand why they'd be worried about what your husband would do with their confidential information, OP

This is how it reads to me.

As far as the company is concerned, they only know there has been a serious security lapse and their IP has been sent somewhere it shouldn't have. They only have DH's word that all he did was email it to himself. They can't be certain DH's own devices are secure and not riddled with spyware, vulnerabilities, keyloggers etc. From their perspective he could have been sending it absolutely anywhere, to absolutely anyone, competitors, the media, anyone, not necessarily intentionally either, so they have probably instructed their lawyers to instigate proceedings to ascertain the facts and ensure everything is recovered. They won't just take DH's word.

Edited

And he has a related sideline - did he have permission for that? I’m not allowed to do another role - even voluntary for a charity which I do do - without getting permission. Edit to add. I got permission. But if I hadn’t it’s a sackable offence and would have been in any of my contract jobs too (although they just would have terminated the contract but using sackable as shorthand).

RedRock41 · 15/03/2026 12:01

OP I’m so sorry. Is he a self employed contractor or worker or employee. If former it will be harder to enforce his rights, if latter they need to follow a fair procedure.

Did they make the rules clear? How were they able to access his emails or did they look in sent items?

Get him to get a fit note from his GP (sounds too stressed to work) and appt with CAB to get his money sorted.

Also what illnesses do you have? If these are classed as a disability (Equality Act 2010) and they knew or were reasonably aware he is a carer, mitigating circs could mean that it may be discrimination by association, or due to their failure to put adjustments in place to allow him to manage both roles. That counter argument or if there was a failure to make rules clear first might get them to back down.

Pleasealexa · 15/03/2026 12:01

Sounds like he has breached data that was commercially sensitive such as IP. As a result they will take legal action to recover their "losses". If it involves client/personal data they could be open to data breaches if they reported to the ICO. The ICO will investigate and he could be personal liable.

Your husband may not be fully open with you due to your distress.

It really depends on what data he took. He needs to confirm that the data is no longer available (check back ups) and perhaps offer his device for investigation. If they believe the breach has been contained they may just sack him and move on. If he has done anything else with the data and intended to profit from it, he needs to be open about it

Original poster
user1471433754 · 15/03/2026 12:01

That sounds about right. I don't have the lawyers letter as it's been handed over. I don't know where the copy is as husband has gone back to bed. I told him to ask he has been up all night. Also I'm struggling to look at him as he has been so foolish. He has put us in jeopardy by his actions, even though I know they weren't intentional.

OP posts:
clarrylove · 15/03/2026 12:02

Atatwalker · 15/03/2026 11:59

And he has a related sideline - did he have permission for that? I’m not allowed to do another role - even voluntary for a charity which I do do - without getting permission. Edit to add. I got permission. But if I hadn’t it’s a sackable offence and would have been in any of my contract jobs too (although they just would have terminated the contract but using sackable as shorthand).

Edited
Show quote history

Presumably you are an employee though? The OPs husband is not an employee, he's a self-employed contractor. It's not the same.

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 15/03/2026 12:02

clarrylove · 15/03/2026 11:53

He's a contractor, not an employee. It is not his job, dismissal doesn't apply etc, it's a service delivery contract. One with multiple contracts by the sounds of it. His contract has been terminated. They can do that for any reason, it's not the same as being an employee and doesn't give the same rights. It sounds as though he has stolen company data. As a contractor, he must have insurance though, so if they pursue legal action he should be covered that way. I don't buy the 'he didn't realise' line. Sorry. No contractor is that naive.

Edited

I agree with the I didn’t realise line. I’ve worked as a contractor and with contractors and you know pretty much from the start what you can and can’t do. If you breach these (a lawyer in government legal department did this) then your contract is swiftly terminated. Doesn’t mean that you can’t get other work though. Sometimes if you’re older (as with the lawyer) you may think you can do x, y and z. Even if you know you probably can’t.

likelysuspect · 15/03/2026 12:02

Giraffapuses · 15/03/2026 11:51

Hey if this is a stackable offence, I should have been fired loads of times. It might be industry specific. Without knowing what sector (e.g. SC cleared), it's hard to know, but this seems quite suspicious of his employer.

Well I would caution against it

Im not saying I havent done it and just like OP was initially saying, I do it because I would rather sit at home on my personal laptop than work laptop because then Im not 'working'. Its a psychological thing, I dont want to be looking at my 'work laptop' in my own free time despite actually working

May not be logical but there you are

However, OP now says that there was a 'side line' being pursued and therefore its highly possible that the husband is taking information from his job and using it for the sideline, money or no money thats not his property

However, in your case, just dont do it, I cant remember the last time I did but its not legal to do so really.

Original poster
user1471433754 · 15/03/2026 12:03

No he has done nothing with the data. And yes, they want to look at all his personal devices.

OP posts:
Atatwalker · 15/03/2026 12:03

RedRock41 · 15/03/2026 12:01

OP I’m so sorry. Is he a self employed contractor or worker or employee. If former it will be harder to enforce his rights, if latter they need to follow a fair procedure.

Did they make the rules clear? How were they able to access his emails or did they look in sent items?

Get him to get a fit note from his GP (sounds too stressed to work) and appt with CAB to get his money sorted.

Also what illnesses do you have? If these are classed as a disability (Equality Act 2010) and they knew or were reasonably aware he is a carer, mitigating circs could mean that it may be discrimination by association, or due to their failure to put adjustments in place to allow him to manage both roles. That counter argument or if there was a failure to make rules clear first might get them to back down.

I agree re contractor vs employee but your advice re him being a carer - how is this in any way disability discrimination?

Original poster
user1471433754 · 15/03/2026 12:03

I remember reading that part.

OP posts:
Betano · 15/03/2026 12:04

Giraffapuses · 15/03/2026 11:51

Hey if this is a stackable offence, I should have been fired loads of times. It might be industry specific. Without knowing what sector (e.g. SC cleared), it's hard to know, but this seems quite suspicious of his employer.

A breach of GDPR is usually gross misconduct and is breaking the law. Kindly, if you have done this, please delete everything you have sent from your company and don’t do it again if you value your employment. Have you had data protection training?

Atatwalker · 15/03/2026 12:05

clarrylove · 15/03/2026 12:02

Presumably you are an employee though? The OPs husband is not an employee, he's a self-employed contractor. It's not the same.

Show quote history

I’ve been a self employed contractor. I still would have had to run any other contracts I was doing past particular clients. And especially a related “sideline”.

likelysuspect · 15/03/2026 12:05

user1471433754 · 15/03/2026 12:03

No he has done nothing with the data. And yes, they want to look at all his personal devices.

Who does? The police?

RedRock41 · 15/03/2026 12:05

user1471433754 · 15/03/2026 12:01

That sounds about right. I don't have the lawyers letter as it's been handed over. I don't know where the copy is as husband has gone back to bed. I told him to ask he has been up all night. Also I'm struggling to look at him as he has been so foolish. He has put us in jeopardy by his actions, even though I know they weren't intentional.

OP intention is important. He sounds broken enough and will need you to stand by and with him, just as he has through your illness.

Imagine how you’d feel if he was unable to look at you for being ill. That would be really unfair.

Similarly, this situation though different arose in part from trying to be there for you and juggle the role of breadwinner and carer so hoping you can pull together, people remember who helped and who didn’t.

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 15/03/2026 12:05

RedRock41 · 15/03/2026 12:01

OP I’m so sorry. Is he a self employed contractor or worker or employee. If former it will be harder to enforce his rights, if latter they need to follow a fair procedure.

Did they make the rules clear? How were they able to access his emails or did they look in sent items?

Get him to get a fit note from his GP (sounds too stressed to work) and appt with CAB to get his money sorted.

Also what illnesses do you have? If these are classed as a disability (Equality Act 2010) and they knew or were reasonably aware he is a carer, mitigating circs could mean that it may be discrimination by association, or due to their failure to put adjustments in place to allow him to manage both roles. That counter argument or if there was a failure to make rules clear first might get them to back down.

Why a fit note? He doesn’t need one.

Money sorted. Depends if he’s employed via an agency or if he’s self employed. HR and payroll will have sorted this all out. If he’s breached contract he may only be entitled to a certain notice payment.

Silvers11 · 15/03/2026 12:05

ITMA2000 · 15/03/2026 11:45

The last year has been horrendous but it happened a fortnight ago? A long fortnight then?

Show quote history

@ITMA2000 - the details of what the OP has been through in the last year are in the original post by OP. Maybe have a re-read of that?

simpsonthecat · 15/03/2026 12:06

This is a mess and I'm sorry you are in this predicament.

However, I cannot imagine how your DH thought it was OK to download company information on to his private email. It really is a huge data breach. What is the difference between working on his company laptop and his own laptop in bed?

I do hope you get some help getting through this.

Original poster
user1471433754 · 15/03/2026 12:06

Absolutely took nothing from the company. His side line was to do with his job as he's passionate about people being aware of on line activity and not get into trouble.
Ironic.

OP posts: