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Husband lost his job. His fault but he had good intentions. We are both deeply upset. Please help.

296 replies

user1471433754 · 15/03/2026 10:21

My husband's boss phoned him a fortnight ago, and told him to stand down and to hand his laptop in to HQ the following day. My husband was so shocked, we didn't know what was happening. We were in a distressed state as he's contract and won't get paid either.
After over a week, of not sleeping, eating, desperately worried, we received a very aggressive lawyers letter from the company. It accused him of downloading documents to his private e mail to read. Husband did do this, they weren't sensitive but he did do it so he could read them at night, and deleted them right after. He honestly didn't realise he was doing wrong. He was doing his best to help his team and get the work done. He's always known for getting jobs done and been told he's a great asset.
Back story to this is, I've been very ill the last year. I nearly died, also lots of illness on my part, mental breakdown, 2 operations, serious illness. He was trying to look after me and do his job at the same time in the evening. He's now been dismissed. Looks like we are going to have to pay both sides legal fees, but he has no job, I can't work. We speak to a lawyer tmro.
He has been foolish, but he did it with the best of intentions to get the work done. We are early sixties and so distressed, I'm worried he will have a heart attack. He's cried non stop, he is horrified, ashamed, embarrassed. Please be kind x

OP posts:
Itsmetheflamingo · 15/03/2026 11:23

Atatwalker · 15/03/2026 11:19

It’s not harsh depending on the type of documents and the company policies.

The act of emailing yourself is one thing, it’s against policy. Something being against policy isn’t a big deal, in the big scheme of things. It’s a good reason to get rid of someone you want rid of though.

the real issue, and the reason the policy exists is if you allow a competitor or other hostile party who can use the information to access it through your lack of compliance- deliberately or not. That is what a company would take action for.

if there is no evidence he has done this the company are unlikely to have anything to take action against.

Atatwalker · 15/03/2026 11:24

Itsmetheflamingo · 15/03/2026 11:23

The act of emailing yourself is one thing, it’s against policy. Something being against policy isn’t a big deal, in the big scheme of things. It’s a good reason to get rid of someone you want rid of though.

the real issue, and the reason the policy exists is if you allow a competitor or other hostile party who can use the information to access it through your lack of compliance- deliberately or not. That is what a company would take action for.

if there is no evidence he has done this the company are unlikely to have anything to take action against.

This just isn’t true. We would fire and immediately dismiss for this. And have done.

im so surprised he was given notice to hand back his stuff - we would have sent someone to collect the company property asap. And given him no notice.

Wildgoat · 15/03/2026 11:24

Itsmetheflamingo · 15/03/2026 11:23

The act of emailing yourself is one thing, it’s against policy. Something being against policy isn’t a big deal, in the big scheme of things. It’s a good reason to get rid of someone you want rid of though.

the real issue, and the reason the policy exists is if you allow a competitor or other hostile party who can use the information to access it through your lack of compliance- deliberately or not. That is what a company would take action for.

if there is no evidence he has done this the company are unlikely to have anything to take action against.

Yes and personal computers are often much less secure that work ones. This is a complete no go for many companies.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Blueskiesnotgrey · 15/03/2026 11:25

He’s only a contractor, they likely went looking for a reason to get rid of him

This.

People send non sensitive emails from their work account to their personal one ALL THE TIME, and whilst it is ill advisable, nobody gives a shit if its not stuff marked confidential or sensitive and even then if you were a highly valued senjor permanent employee you would get several warnings before dismissal. I sent my private medical documents that were sent to my work address to my personal one as I needed to keep them for reference and it didnt even flag on our company DSPM software (that I manage, and can see).

SilenceInside · 15/03/2026 11:26

There’s no point asking the OP about the letter or what the DH actually did, as she doesn’t seem to have a copy of the letter and she (understandably) doesn’t seem to know the details of her DH’s role and work policies.

@user1471433754 The plan for Monday would be to get a copy of the letter and any other documents that were sent to your DH, for your own reference. As you are seeing a solicitor already, they need to tell you exactly what’s being alleged and what action the company are threatening to take. Then you need to know what the possible outcomes are from that action, how likely they are to succeed with any action, and then what response your DH would like to take. Then you’ll know where you stand and what the possible outcomes are.

Separately, you need to look at your finances and whether a benefits application is appropriate or whether early retirement might be an option.

Wildgoat · 15/03/2026 11:26

Blueskiesnotgrey · 15/03/2026 11:25

He’s only a contractor, they likely went looking for a reason to get rid of him

This.

People send non sensitive emails from their work account to their personal one ALL THE TIME, and whilst it is ill advisable, nobody gives a shit if its not stuff marked confidential or sensitive and even then if you were a highly valued senjor permanent employee you would get several warnings before dismissal. I sent my private medical documents that were sent to my work address to my personal one as I needed to keep them for reference and it didnt even flag on our company DSPM software (that I manage, and can see).

I think you’re really confused, your private medical data is something you own, it is not the same.

he has sent himself company documents to download. By their very nature likely to be proprietary. It’s not the same as emailing yourself your own info,

Mildmanneredmum · 15/03/2026 11:28

I'm so sorry, this must be awful for you both. If I've understood correctly from your first post, he is a contractor and not an employee, so dismissal doesn't come into it - it's a contract termination and we don't know what he signed when he started. However - a lawyer would be best to advise on both those points. Good luck.

Itsmetheflamingo · 15/03/2026 11:29

Atatwalker · 15/03/2026 11:24

This just isn’t true. We would fire and immediately dismiss for this. And have done.

im so surprised he was given notice to hand back his stuff - we would have sent someone to collect the company property asap. And given him no notice.

That’s not what I’m saying- dismiss, agree, that’s that. Happens every day.

But You wouldn’t sue the person unless there was evidence they had used the documents to your detriment (I mean you might threaten to, but it’s not a realistic threat)

PrettyDamnCosmic · 15/03/2026 11:30

Suella Braverman was forced to resign because she sent official documents to her personal email address.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cvglgdp40dko

Itsmetheflamingo · 15/03/2026 11:31

SilenceInside · 15/03/2026 11:26

There’s no point asking the OP about the letter or what the DH actually did, as she doesn’t seem to have a copy of the letter and she (understandably) doesn’t seem to know the details of her DH’s role and work policies.

@user1471433754 The plan for Monday would be to get a copy of the letter and any other documents that were sent to your DH, for your own reference. As you are seeing a solicitor already, they need to tell you exactly what’s being alleged and what action the company are threatening to take. Then you need to know what the possible outcomes are from that action, how likely they are to succeed with any action, and then what response your DH would like to take. Then you’ll know where you stand and what the possible outcomes are.

Separately, you need to look at your finances and whether a benefits application is appropriate or whether early retirement might be an option.

Tbh I don’t think OP should do anything. I’m sure he’s more than capable of sorting it himself and as you say OP clearly isn’t going to be able to advise

EmmaOvary · 15/03/2026 11:32

Something isn’t adding up here

user1471433754 · 15/03/2026 11:33

No nothing medical. From what I've gathered, it was the amount he downloaded and because he has a little side line(he sent up a company for everyone's awareness on the job he does). He makes no money from this, he was passionate about raising awareness. I think work company thinks it's a conflict of interest?
I'm sorry I don't have lawyer letter. Also the amount he downloaded was to keep up with work as I've been very ill. He was juggling a lot. He still did wrong, but he didn't mean to.

OP posts:
TeaBiscuitsNaptime · 15/03/2026 11:33

It sounds like his boss felt exposed and that some information or other could have been leaked and panicked. If I were him, I would write a letter to his boss. Stating that he understands the importance of keeping these emails private, his reasons for doing what he did and that he won't be doing it again going forward. Or something along the lines. He could suggest a meeting to talk about it further. Maybe a chat could sort things out. Could be worth a shot

user1471433754 · 15/03/2026 11:35

I'm so sorry. I sound vague and stupid. But this last year has been horrendous.

OP posts:
SomethingUniqueThisTime · 15/03/2026 11:35

I wonder whether the lawyer’s letter is because he was a contractor rather than an employee.
They will need to be sure they are not breaching the terms of the contract, rather than following normal employee termination procedures.
There will have been terms in the contract about period of notice, which will now be null and void because of misconduct, this will probably be a little complex so legal involvement is necessary.

newmenewwhatever · 15/03/2026 11:35

Honestly he is not being honest with you.
he would not have needed to move documents to a private laptop used for a sideline business.

Holdmybeermoment · 15/03/2026 11:36

user1471433754 · 15/03/2026 11:33

No nothing medical. From what I've gathered, it was the amount he downloaded and because he has a little side line(he sent up a company for everyone's awareness on the job he does). He makes no money from this, he was passionate about raising awareness. I think work company thinks it's a conflict of interest?
I'm sorry I don't have lawyer letter. Also the amount he downloaded was to keep up with work as I've been very ill. He was juggling a lot. He still did wrong, but he didn't mean to.

It still doesn’t make any sense.

They don’t sue over this. They don’t take legal action over this. They just fire you.

He had absolutely zero reason or need to email himself work product. His work laptop was at home and he could log on anytime.

The story doesn’t make sense. And you won’t answer the questions so people can help you make sense of it.

Blueskiesnotgrey · 15/03/2026 11:36

Exactly, you would dismiss for breach of contract if you wanted to but you would only take legal action if you suspected those documents had been passed to a competitor or whatever. He's being dismissed and they're using this breach of the data policy as the reason/excuse. Many workplaces, if what people are putting on here are to be believed, dismiss on the spot if the act of emailing company documents to your personal email is detected (most companies have software that detects this), public sector in particular I'd have thought, but many other private sector companies wouldn't care unless they were looking for an excuse or the documents had particularly sensitive data in them such as salary details, employee PII etc.

There must be more to the story of they haven't simply said your services are no longer required, off you go.

BunnyLake · 15/03/2026 11:37

Any historical work pensions they may be able to activate?

likelysuspect · 15/03/2026 11:37

saveforthat · 15/03/2026 11:11

I'll admit to doing this in the past but I really wouldn't nowadays. I don't think the fact that you don't think it would cause huge problems would be a valid excuse.

Exactly, the information governance and GDPR training is mandatory for most of us so everyone knows you dont do this

But at the end of the day he's just been sacked/got rid of or whatever the parlance is for a contractor, he'll get another job and Im not sure what the legal stuff is about.

user1471433754 · 15/03/2026 11:37

SomethingUniqueThisTime · 15/03/2026 11:35

I wonder whether the lawyer’s letter is because he was a contractor rather than an employee.
They will need to be sure they are not breaching the terms of the contract, rather than following normal employee termination procedures.
There will have been terms in the contract about period of notice, which will now be null and void because of misconduct, this will probably be a little complex so legal involvement is necessary.

Yes I think that's it according to lawyer friend

OP posts:
Blueskiesnotgrey · 15/03/2026 11:37

Ah, the sideline. So he was using work IP for his other business. Makes sense now.

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 15/03/2026 11:38

Holdmybeermoment · 15/03/2026 11:36

It still doesn’t make any sense.

They don’t sue over this. They don’t take legal action over this. They just fire you.

He had absolutely zero reason or need to email himself work product. His work laptop was at home and he could log on anytime.

The story doesn’t make sense. And you won’t answer the questions so people can help you make sense of it.

There’s no firing going on. They just terminated the contract.

SilenceInside · 15/03/2026 11:38

@Itsmetheflamingo yes, I suppose by “you” I meant the DH. Although, if he’s spent the weekend crying non stop then I doubt he has the capacity to take a planned approach either.

The rights and wrong, the intention, none of that matters right now. The only thing that matters is what the company that contracted him are alleging he did and what action they are planning on taking. Which the OP cannot answer right now. So, the only thing to do this weekend is to try to calm down. Crying non-stop isn’t going to help anyone.

Holdmybeermoment · 15/03/2026 11:38

user1471433754 · 15/03/2026 11:37

Yes I think that's it according to lawyer friend

So then they aren’t suing you. He just got fired but the notification came from their legal department rather than HR.

Why have you gone to a lawyer just to tell you that your husband has indeed been sacked?