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Husband lost his job. His fault but he had good intentions. We are both deeply upset. Please help.

296 replies

user1471433754 · 15/03/2026 10:21

My husband's boss phoned him a fortnight ago, and told him to stand down and to hand his laptop in to HQ the following day. My husband was so shocked, we didn't know what was happening. We were in a distressed state as he's contract and won't get paid either.
After over a week, of not sleeping, eating, desperately worried, we received a very aggressive lawyers letter from the company. It accused him of downloading documents to his private e mail to read. Husband did do this, they weren't sensitive but he did do it so he could read them at night, and deleted them right after. He honestly didn't realise he was doing wrong. He was doing his best to help his team and get the work done. He's always known for getting jobs done and been told he's a great asset.
Back story to this is, I've been very ill the last year. I nearly died, also lots of illness on my part, mental breakdown, 2 operations, serious illness. He was trying to look after me and do his job at the same time in the evening. He's now been dismissed. Looks like we are going to have to pay both sides legal fees, but he has no job, I can't work. We speak to a lawyer tmro.
He has been foolish, but he did it with the best of intentions to get the work done. We are early sixties and so distressed, I'm worried he will have a heart attack. He's cried non stop, he is horrified, ashamed, embarrassed. Please be kind x

OP posts:
ValidPistachio · 15/03/2026 10:22

Why are there legal fees to pay?

wherearethesnacks · 15/03/2026 10:24

Do you think you're getting the full story from your husband?

IngridsLittleToe · 15/03/2026 10:25

Talk to them. Put your case

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user1471433754 · 15/03/2026 10:25

A lawyer relative of ours thinks that's what the other side will want? If this goes on possibly? I honestly have no idea, never been in this situation before. We can't think straight.

OP posts:
user1471433754 · 15/03/2026 10:26

Yes, I am sure I'm getting the full story. He is a good honest man. He has made a mistake but he was trying to do his job and do it well.

OP posts:
DisplayPurposesOnly · 15/03/2026 10:26

I suggest contacting ACAS tomorrow to see if they can advise:
https://www.acas.org.uk/

Im also not clear why solicitors are involved. Im surprised this is a sacking offense.

Acas | Making working life better for everyone in Britain

Acas is the workplace expert for England, Wales and Scotland. We provide free and impartial advice for employers and employees, training and help resolve disputes.

https://www.acas.org.uk

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 15/03/2026 10:27

If this is true then apart from the lawyers letter I can’t really see what you want advice on. It’s a contract. They can terminate when they like. The reason is valid.

Seeline · 15/03/2026 10:27

What legal action is being taken?

His contract has been terminated. He has returned company property. What fees/costs are involved?

Bulbsbulbsbulbs · 15/03/2026 10:27

What are the legal fees? If he's been fired what is he expected to pay?

If he has never been told that he shouldn't do what he did and it's not written down anywhere then he may have a case for unfair dismissal. It's a stressful process though.

user1471433754 · 15/03/2026 10:28

Yes we will thank you. He has worked so hard for this company. But I think it's because of the nature of his job.

OP posts:
NotAWurstToIt · 15/03/2026 10:28

If he had a work laptop I don’t understand why he would feel the need to email anything work related to his personal email? I agree with PP that it seems strange that there are any legal fees to pay.
i think your DH has been naive at best - it’s absolutely not good practice to email anything business proprietary to yourself and this is likely to have been in his contract / terms of employment.
You are both clearly distressed and I’m sorry you are going through this and for your ongoing health challenges. I would suggest taking legal advice about the situation.
edited for typos

Pedallleur · 15/03/2026 10:29

He downloaded to a personal email not his work email? That's a breach of IT security and it depends on the IT policy of the company what was downloaded and the rules over downloads. Also what level is your husband? Is he a level where he should know better? I used to work in IT and we had people use their admin rights to access systems/download certain software. They got dismissed.

failtegusslan · 15/03/2026 10:29

See if you can talk to an employment lawyer. If hes not had any issues before then he may have a case to say that the response is disproportionate and that he should have had a final written warning. Worth talking to acas to see what they recommend.

Bulbsbulbsbulbs · 15/03/2026 10:29

So they are threatening to sue him?

TomatoSandwiches · 15/03/2026 10:30

I don't understand why there would be legal fees if he has just been dismissed.

sunsetsites · 15/03/2026 10:30

This is not the full story OP, there would be no legal fees for a dismissal and the had a laptop why would he need to email documents to his personal account?

Blanketpolicy · 15/03/2026 10:30

Why have they engaged a lawyer? Did he start legal action against them? Or are they claiming against losses due to his actions?

It’s not really clear what is going on…..

Squirrelchops1 · 15/03/2026 10:31

It would certainly be gross misconduct in my work if i sent work things to private email. It's clear in my contract.

user1471433754 · 15/03/2026 10:31

I honestly don't know what fees are to be paid yet. We had to respond to this letter by three days. We've been trying to find an employment lawyer very quickly.

OP posts:
Besafeeatcake · 15/03/2026 10:31

NotAWurstToIt · 15/03/2026 10:28

If he had a work laptop I don’t understand why he would feel the need to email anything work related to his personal email? I agree with PP that it seems strange that there are any legal fees to pay.
i think your DH has been naive at best - it’s absolutely not good practice to email anything business proprietary to yourself and this is likely to have been in his contract / terms of employment.
You are both clearly distressed and I’m sorry you are going through this and for your ongoing health challenges. I would suggest taking legal advice about the situation.
edited for typos

Edited

I agree. We all have been through no printing of documents, no putting things onto a portable drive, no emailing to personal accounts.

Sorry OP but if your OH has a work laptop this just doesn’t make sense. It would be easier to bring home the work laptop and use it there rather than consciously emailing to a private account . That unfortunately is a red flag for dodgy behaviour. This is a cyber security risk.

PropitiousJump · 15/03/2026 10:31

DisplayPurposesOnly · 15/03/2026 10:26

I suggest contacting ACAS tomorrow to see if they can advise:
https://www.acas.org.uk/

Im also not clear why solicitors are involved. Im surprised this is a sacking offense.

It would be where I work, but they are very, very clear on that - regular warnings given.

user1471433754 · 15/03/2026 10:32

Yes. Gross misconduct.
I don't know what I'm posting for really 😔

OP posts:
365RubyRed · 15/03/2026 10:32

I am so sorry for you both, what a horrible experience. In view of your ages, and your ongoing ill health, can you take early retirement?

bunnypenny · 15/03/2026 10:32

user1471433754 · 15/03/2026 10:31

I honestly don't know what fees are to be paid yet. We had to respond to this letter by three days. We've been trying to find an employment lawyer very quickly.

What are they asking you to respond to? And why? What exactly have they said? Is it the company’s own lawyer or external law firm?

Tuxedocatty · 15/03/2026 10:34

If the documents weren’t sensitive and he can demonstrate it was a genuine misunderstanding over IT policy then instant dismissal sounds very harsh. Is there a wider agenda by the company here, someone looking for a reason to be shot of him?

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