New Job. How long do you give it?

[CheerfulBunny]

Started a new job a few months ago and finding it unbelievably stressful at times, very pressured and hard to switch off evenings and weekends. How long do you give it before accepting it's not right? Obviously there has to be a bedding in period of learning everything and setting in but I'm finding aspects of it very hard indeed.

I always say three months

Following with interest because I started a job one month ago and I am already seeing red flags waving (recent redundancies, my manager just resigned, etc).

I think it really depends on the job and the industry. I started a new job a few years ago and it was so complex and difficult to get my head around. I cried a lot (I’m not usually a crier!)

I was told by several colleagues that it would take a year so I stuck it out and things started to slot into place. By the end of the first year I felt far more confident in what I was doing.

Also money might be a factor here. Can you afford to leave? Will it be easy for you to get another job with a comparable salary?

Can you identify what the issues are exactly? I am in a similar position and am seeing red flags, but they aren't anything I can do anything about so am getting a bit worried.

As long as you need. My DW once quit a job on her first morning. She knew it wasn't right and said so.

It's mainly management issues with the main person I report to. They're a bit odd - by their own admission! I receive very little supervision and little in the way of positive feedback so only hear about the things I've done wrong. Added to the pressure of the role it just feels crushing and demoralising. I don't feel equipped to accept the level of responsibility I've been given. I've started to doubt myself so every decision I make is stressful because my manager is so hard to please. I'm unfavourably compared to the person who was interim in my role 😒 and have been strongly encouraged not to take annual leave or sick leave. Not good.
It's not in my nature to give up at anything but I've had a moment of realisation this week that, should I be let go, after the inevitable feelings of shock and humiliation, I'd actually be quite relieved.

Eek! Sounds like you're working for a bully. Been there, had the sick leave. Do you think you'd ever be good enough?

I would start looking elsewhere now. Easier to find a job when you have one. If you aren’t happy.

However depending on industry etc, and whether you’ve had short tenure before, that is something I’d personally consider. For example in my place of work if we have people with more than one ‘blip’ from a tenure requirement we screen them out, wrongly or rightly. We don’t want to invest time training when they have patterns of jumping ship. Usually a minimum of 6-9 months before someone is adding value in my role.

God this could have been written by me a couple of years ago. I lasted 4 months before telling them to stick the job where the sun doesn’t shine.

I gave it three months and started looking for a new job which then took 3 months.

Was honest-ish with the organisations I was interviewing for. But my reason was it wasn't taxing and I wanted a different challenge.

I left a job after 4 months with nothing to go to. Not the right fit/culture and unbelievably stressful - I hated every minute. I’m amazed I lasted that long, looking back, but I too didn’t think of myself as a ‘quitter’ so forced myself to stick it out.

I’m currently in a not too dissimilar situation, although nowhere near as bad. The difference is I literally can’t quit my job this time, or I’ll be deported. I’m an expat on a work visa which is tied to my specific job. I just don’t know what I would do if it got ‘that bad’.

I always used to say give it six months because at first you’ll usually think you e made a massive mistake and can’t possibly do this job. Slowly that should change and by six months you’ll find you’re not only doing it but enjoying it. If you still feel the same after six months I’d start looking for a move.

This is good advice if it’s just the work that you’re struggling with. If it’s the culture / work environment then it is unlikely to shift in 6 months. It’s okay to admit you made a mistake or were misled in the interview process (very common - especially when it’s an employees’ market and they’re desperate to hire), and move on much sooner than after 6 months.

I was 3 years to feel settled and confident

Thanks everyone, I really appreciate the advice. I'm sticking at it for a while and taking each day as it comes. This week has been a bit better, dare I say it. Being new at something makes you feel so vulnerable and a bit of encouragement would make me feel so much more confident in what I'm doing. My previous job had loads of supervision and praise so I suddenly feel a bit lost. I guess it should come from within though.