How can I cope with constant noise from upstairs neighbours’ children?

[GoldenAppleCakes]

My upstairs neighbours are making my life miserable, yes they are just kids and yes they can’t help it up but they run up and down all day jumping and screaming, ride toys up and down on the floor, don’t go to school so home all day, they throw things on the floor the noise is horrific I’m sure it’s laminate throughout. They stay up to 11pm most nights. Even if I go downstairs (live in a maisonette) I can still hear them. It’s a one bed flat above but keeps being rented out to families with several kids (I know COLC and all but when I first moved in I wrongly assumed I’d only have a single person or a couple living above with it being a one bed flat I was so wrong) has anyone had extremely noisy neighbours? How do you cope?

Private landlord? It’s an offence for private landlords to let property knowing that there are too many occupants for the size. Contact housing standards at your local council, or Shelter for advice.

Having said that, a couple and two small children in a one bedroomed flat, two rooms, wouldn’t be statutorily overcrowded.

Can’t stop kids being kids

It wouldn't be unreasonable to go and as her politely that say from 7pm that they are quieter. 11 is far too late for kids to be up and running about

Yes kids are kids / people my not be able to afford a larger flat / people will here some noise etc, but I think if you're a parent you should be considerate that others will hear you and just be aware.

If you do speak to them, rehearse the way you would want to be spoken to to get the better results.

Helpful.

We have a holiday home which is an upstairs flat. We used to go loads and now we have a 2yo and a 4yo we barely go. That’s for various reasons but in part it’s because we know how load it is for the lady who lives downstairs. It’s awful for everyone. However, if that was our home, we’d have no choice. If you live in a block of flats and it doesn’t prohibit children then this is always a possibility I’m afraid.

Yes but the parents shouldn’t be letting them running about making that much noise until 11pm!

No, but there is no help available for the OP if the kids upstairs are just being kids and the block didn’t prohibit kids.

I am so, so sorry you’re going through this. I actually had a physical reaction reading your message because I’ve been there, and I know exactly how horrific that level of noise is.

I had a similar nightmare with upstairs neighbours with kids before. We tried the "friendly chat" route, but it backfired, they actually got louder out of spite. Even when it was quiet, I would just find myself waiting for them to start screaming and jumping again. It got to the point where I was constantly on edge, crying, and couldn't sleep. It felt like some sort of trauma.

We tried the noise-cancelling headphones and white noise machines, but they only do so much. In the end, she got pregnant with kid number 3 and, for our own sanity, we decided to move. It felt like giving up at the time, but the new quiet home was life-changing.

Have you spoken to the landlord? Unfortunately the sounds you describe aren’t the kind of noise the council will act on, but thick carpet would help

I think you should ask for the landlords details and contact them, it’s ridiculous to have laminate in an upstairs flat. Underlay and thick carpet would reduce the noise a lot. You’d still hear them but it would be much more bearable

Me too, I’ve been through exactly this but with downstairs neighbours. They had two small children who they would let jump and thump on the wooden floors for hours and it would reverberate up into my flat. I spoke to them about it and it got worse out of spite as well. In fact, the adults started deliberately slamming doors to make my life even more hell. It was awful and they were just scummy people and terrible parents. I really feel for you and my advice would be, if it’s a possibility at all, to just move away as it will not get better.

Who owns the flat? Laminate floor isn’t usually allowed. It’s usually detailed in the home owners lease from the freeholder. If it is laminate, you could complain to the freeholder. Also contact environmental health.

Like lots of my generation in Scotland I grew up in a tenement flat. No outdoor shoes, no balls, no running or jumping. I’m sure it wasn’t perfect for the neighbours, but it wasn’t as the OP describes, and we weren’t making noise late at night. Teaching children reasonable behaviour has to come from the parents, even at a young age.

Suggestions to contact the landlord seem reasonable if the tenants are so noisy.

I agree that everyone has a responsibility to be considerate and running around at 11pm is not ok. The issue we have is that you can’t really stop a 2yo from running, or falling over or dropping his toys etc and often he’s up at 6am. Obviously we all take our shoes off inside etc. We’ve got super thick expensive sound proofing underlay but I know it’s still loud for the people downstairs because it’s a converted house rather than a purpose built block. We are always telling them not to run - it usually works for the 4yo (although he does forget sometimes) but for the 2yo it just doesn’t work. We’d have to strap him down. Which ultimately is one of the reasons we rarely go but that obviously wouldn’t be an option if it were our home and om
not sure what else we could feasibly to to improve the situation.

@2026Y you are doing your best, I think most neighbours would understand. However the issue is really with those that don’t care, don’t try to keep the noise down, are really noisy late at night. I can’t imagine your DC being up and running around at 11pm.

I could have written this.
I lived in a building that was not fit to be flats, upstairs impact noises day and night wrecked my nerves.
Chats, their carpet and rugs, our white noise, headphones and moving our rooms around had zero effect.
Sold the place as soon as we could.

One thing that does genuinely work quite well is creating a false ceiling and packing the void with insulation. This is how a property we lived in London was converted and we could barely hear the people upstairs. You need to have the height to do it though and obviously not mind spending the money. If your ceiling and the upstairs floor are separated it does help a lot. I appreciate that’s not always feasible though.

No but a decent parent can put them to bed at a sensible time.

i get that though my semi’s walls.

elephant children, one of whom has additional needs and doesnt sleep much, so runs and jumps off furniture day and night.

thump thump thump thump BANG thump thump thump thump BANG thump thump thump thump thump (pause) thump thump thump thump thump thump thump BANG.

its awful. wood floors for their pishy little dog dont help. ive no idea why they dont housetrain it. disgusting.

their other kids go to bed when they feel like it. there is no discipline. there are empty cans and rubbish out back and tyres and rubbish out front. a scrapyard up the side.

i look forward to moving.

Thanks to those that understand. Yes they are kids but up till 11pm and no school? That’s not normal kids noises. As most kids are in bed by a decent time and go to school. I work from home so stuck listening to it all day. Moving not an option as I am council and getting a move round here is pretty much impossible. Theirs is private rented.

Maybe not but parents should parent.
Children need to be wearing slippers indoors, learning about indoor voices, not being allowed to use ride on toys indoors. They need bed earlier than 11pm. All the things a parent pays attention to.
Energetic and noisy kids need lots of outdoor exercise to tire them out.
Kids will be kids is the same nonsense as boys will be boys that excuses poor behaviour and poor parenting.
I’ve lived by noisy neighbours and it’s hellish. It basically ruins every single day.

We have neighbours living below us and DS has known since very young that he doesn't go charging and jumping around. We're especially quiet early in the morning and later in the evening and have had no issues teaching DS to be considerate. It's just how it is when you live in a flat and I can't imagine expecting my neighbours to put up with it. We also have lots of carpet and rugs which (I hope) helps with any noise. Have you tried speaking to them about it?