No contact with someone

[Lonelylou1]

Anyone NC with someone they wish they had contact with?

Yes and no. I have no contact with someone I'd have liked to have had a close relationship with. However, they made that impossible so I think it's for the best.

No contact is generally for good reasons. If you’re wanting to break it, that’s probably not going to end well.

No, the people I’m NC with I never want to see again, that was the whole point of NC for me.

No, I am not NC with anyone really. There are family members and in laws who I don't enjoy spending time with very much, but I try to keep it civil. I have some siblings who I can only handle in small doses too.

I imagine NC is a bit of a last resort though and think it is usually for the best

So the nc is their decision?

I am NC with a sibling. They initiated it, long story but I set a boundary with their behaviour and they cut me off. I was sad but also found it was a relief. I remained very low contact for several years (just text messages at Christmas and birthdays) even though I suspected they would have been open to reconnecting. It was only a few months ago that I wondered whether perhaps things might be better now, we’re both older & hopefully wiser. Funny how these things work because something happened very soon after that showed me they hadn’t changed and their behaviour was still selfish and hurtful. So I am now completely NC.

I would like our relationship to be different, I grieve for what it could have been as we grow older. But any relationship would be at the expense of my well-being, so it’s sadly not possible.

My eldest daughter cut off contact with me around the time I was first diagnosed with breast cancer, and that was tremendously hurtful .

The initial reason was my fault, and I acknowledge that and did at the time, although at the time I was waiting for my formal diagnosis and very stressed. But to not have ANY support, or even good wishes, from her when I was very seriously ill in hospital, and throughout my treatment, was incredibly painful, especially as I continued to try and keep communication open (not pushing, just open), nearly broke me at a time when I was very fragile.

We now seem to be back to normal I think, and I hope it stays that way.

No, I am NC with my mum and very grateful for that decision.

That said, if someone is NC with you and you wish they weren’t, that ship has probably sailed. But the thing that would have made the difference way back then would have been accountability and honesty. Taking responsibility for your mistakes and fixing them. Not saying things like “I’m sorry you were hurt by what I did…..but if only you had a forgiving heart like I do.” Or “I’m sorry I put your children in danger…but you’re always so melodramatic.”

And don’t be dishonest about what really happened. Don’t make up tales or look perplexed and say you have no idea why the relationship broke down. Name what you did wrong, be accountable for it, no “I’m sorry, but…” and take the fall for your part in the estrangement. That would have gone a long way over spreading lies and performative social media posts for me. Just someone saying “Sorry, I screwed up and now I’m going to get help because the relationship with you matters.”

I am nc only with people I believe are damaging to me .

That's 2 ex's and an old boss

Yes and no I am nc with my dsis and dm i don’t want contact with dsis after everything she’s done which has also affected my relationship with dm but I do wish things had turned out differently and we still had a close relationship