How would you be in this situation?

[BiscoffCheesecakes]

A close friend had 2 sudden bereavements of close family members a few years ago. She's a widow. She is seeing a married man. He treats her very well & she is happy when she's with him for the first time in a few years. She's tried online dating etc but got nowhere. For a few reasons this man is not in a position to leave his wife anytime soon. She's tried to finish it but it makes her miserable to be away from him.

Would you support her in her decisions, knowing what she's gone through & be there for her or would you keep your distance, or something else?

Do you know the man or his wife, are you friends, do you owe them any loyalty? If you do, that would change my answer.

For me, your friend's losses are irrelevant in this. She's choosing a relationship, it has nothing to do with you. Yes 3 people are going to get hurt down the line, but that still has nothing to do with you. I personally wouldn't be in a relationship with a married man, but it's easy for me to say that because I've never fallen in love with one. Would my morality and self respect win over my emotions if I were in that situation? I hope so, but I couldn't swear to it.
I would try very hard not to judge what other adults are doing and I would put the knowledge that he's married in a box and close the lid on it. And continue with the friendship without any change

i would see her as vulnerable and try to prod her into therapy

That's good advice @ICanLiveWithIt. I do not know the man or his family. She often asks my advice on it. It would be easy for me to judge her but the truth is she is happier than I've seen her in years when she's with him but also torn with what to do, knowing he's unlikely to be solely hers at any time

That’s probably the most balanced and perceptive post I’ve ever read on MN.

She's already in therapy

Then whenever she asks you for your advice, tell her that you can't tell her what to do. Tell her that you can see how happy she is in the moment and how conflicted she can feel when she thinks about it longer term. Empathise that it's a complicated muddle of feelings and tell her to take it all to therapy.

Edited to add
Or the short hand response when she asks advice would be "What would your therapist say about that?"

I wouldn't judge her but I'd be mindful nothing good will come of it if hes not going to leave his wife. There's heartache to come

I would absolutely judge her. Being unhappy doesn't give you the right to ruin other peoples lives. I would tell her my opinion and then refuse to discuss it anymore.