Mother’s Day gift for deceased best friends mum - yay or nay?

[Chronicnights]

My beautiful best friend died last year following a very lengthy battle with cancer. I remain close with her mum and provide a little bit of financial support for friends son who she looks after (just shoes, clothes and little toys here and there). I’m spending Mother’s Day with her and him - just wondering if it’s weird for me to get her a card & gift? Best friend was an only child so no gift from anyone else, would love to just treat her for how amazing she treats friends son ❤️

if yay, any suggestions on what would be appropriate?

I think this could be a lovely idea, although I can see why it might also be sad for her - it's a difficult one.

How about getting her something "from" your friend's son?

How lovely you’ll spend time with them on Sunday.
I think a small gift sounds fine but I wouldn’t do a Mother's day card( if that’s what you mean) - maybe a more neutral card to let her know you are acknowledging the day.

You sound lovely. I’m sure whatever you choose will be well received as you’re close.
Maybe something that’s a nicer version of things she might usually buy, or not, for herself. Chanel nail polish, posh chocolates, L’Occitane hand creams are my go tos.

I agree that the card would be tricky in the circumstances, and I’m sorry for your loss.

Can you arrange to do something on behalf of her grandson? Like get a card he can write in or take him out to choose Granny’s favourite flowers or chocolates? I wouldn’t do anything signed from you though.

Is the little boy’s father sorting a ‘to grandma on Mother’s Day’ card and present out?
As you’re spending the day together I think you can safely bring some flowers/chocolatea/something lovely as a gift from you. Obviously nothing with ‘mum’ written on it

What a lovely, thoughtful friend and person you are.

As others have said, I think a gift from her grandson would be a good idea. If you wanted to give her a card from you, a neutral one acknowledging how the day may be tough for her would be okay, I think.

I hope your Sunday together is gentle and you find some time to celebrate your friend.

No card but flowers always go down well.

A card and gift signed from you I would say a big no, she isn’t your mum or mother figure. A card from her grandson would be lovely.

That sounds lovely and you sound like a fantastic friend. I’d make sure the dc had something to give their nanny and id buy the lady a nice card and flowers. She’s still a mother, and she’s playing a very important mothering role to her gc.

Take Gran son shopping, especially as she looks after him.

I think a card from you could be awkward, as they all say Mum / Mother would you want to send one that says 'like a mum'

You sound a really thoughtful friend x

Maybe a bunch of flowers. I wouldn’t get a card.

I think that’s a lovely thought but you never know quite how someone will react when grief is concerned, especially when it was such a premature and bloody unfair way to lose her daughter.

I think I’d take your friend’s son out for the afternoon and help him get a card to his nan, and a gift for her. You can also maybe help him get some flowers to take for his mum, if she has a grave or a favourite place, so he gets to think of her on the day as well (unless that’s something his nan wants to do with him). Your friend’s mum is going to know you helped him, so is going to appreciate that gesture from you, and there’s no way you can cause any upset.

A card like this from him

https://amzn.eu/d/0ibx5Grv

and from you

https://amzn.eu/d/01OSrtzV

I think spending the day with her is probably enough.

Giving her a card and gift for Mother's Day although obviously well meaning, may be overstepping.

I agree.
If the wee grandson hasn’t a Dad in his life and hasn’t got anything for his grandmother perhaps you could assist him.

Flowers and chocs - no card. I’m sorry for your loss.

No. Be there for them but giving a gift might imply that you're substituting yourself. I intentionally decided never to give my stepmum or MIL anything on mother's day, though I love them dearly. It was a day for my own mum and nobody could ever replace her.