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12 year old playing up on school - advice PLEASE!!

4 replies

Cantheowneroftheredcorsapleasemovetheircar · 11/03/2026 14:32

Hi all,
Would hugely appreciate some advice on what to do with my 12yo.
He seems determined to pîss about in lessons and play the class clown and is constantly getting detentions because of it.
It's stupid stuff like throwing pens at his classmates, or making silly jokes and comments. Generally being disruptive and not listening.
He gets sent out of the room, put on report, given detentions, nothing seems to deter him.
At home, we remove all privileges such as his phone and Xbox every time he gets a detention, which he hates. We speak to him at length about the consequences to his future and education. Yesterday we got an email saying all pupils who don't have a record of excellent behaviour over the next three terms will lose their place on year 8 camp, which seemed to have an effect on him because he really wants to go.
Every morning when he leaves for school, we tell him to behave, be respectful, work hard and not mess around and remind him of the consequences if he gets another detention, but I've just had an email to say he's got yet another one for being a bloody idiot.

At my wits end. What do we do with him?!

OP posts:
IsthataNo · 11/03/2026 15:20

Op how is he academically, a big reason some DC mess about is boredom because they can't access the education

What were his grades like at primary and in sats

Talking about the future can see a long way off and punishment becomes the norm .
Can you try rewards instead eg extra time on xbox if no bad feedback or extra pocket money ? Help him climb the ladder of goodness...

Cantheowneroftheredcorsapleasemovetheircar · 11/03/2026 17:51

IsthataNo · 11/03/2026 15:20

Op how is he academically, a big reason some DC mess about is boredom because they can't access the education

What were his grades like at primary and in sats

Talking about the future can see a long way off and punishment becomes the norm .
Can you try rewards instead eg extra time on xbox if no bad feedback or extra pocket money ? Help him climb the ladder of goodness...

Hi, his grades are good, especially in Science. He won the year 7 science award last year. Yet I was shocked to see he even messes around in Science which is his best and favourite subject, with a teacher he really likes.

We do reward with extra pocket money whenever he gets praise from school.

OP posts:
CurlyKoalie · 11/03/2026 20:00

Does this changed behaviour correspond to him having any new friends/ friendship groups?
Sometimes even clever kids play up to fit in with what they see as the " popular kids"
If so, you might be able to get the school to move him away from those kids in lessons.

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IsthataNo · 11/03/2026 22:23

Is that a strong enough reward then ? Does he need more money does he spend it ? Have something he's saving for ?
What about getting points for somerhng really special ? Child driving experience or sky diving indoor things ?
Try and re program him
Attention seeking ,boredom ...

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