feeling a bit sorry for myself tonight

[totmty]

I just feel very alone and like I have nobody in my life that even likes me let alone wants to be around me, it's a long story but a few things have happened that have made me stop and think. been happening for a long time and just seem to get worse no matter what I do or say.

First thing is sort of an ongoing thing that I have noticed, not sure how to explain it really but say someone falls out with someone else, they tend to take it out on me, so (I will make this bit up) say my cousin falls out with my mum they will stop speaking to me as well, or say my mum has an argument with someone instead of being mad at them she directs it at me. they also like to blame me for things just because I happen to be there at the time, say my uncle lost his keys he would then turn around and say something like 'I only lost them because of you, if you hadn't been here it wouldn't have happened' that sort of thing. meanwhile I had no clue he lost the keys until I saw him looking for them.. happens all the time.

I won't even go into the passive aggressive crap they pull on me as I think you get the picture.. I'm sick of saying stuff like 'if you have an issue just tell me so we can't sort it out' all I get back is 'You should know what's wrong, you shouldn't need me to explain' but from my side things were fine the previous day or even the previous hour when we last spoke..

Another thing, I was having a totally normal conversation with my mum over the phone, wasn't about anything bad, quite the opposite, I was telling her about a new job I got recently and after I finished telling her she said 'god, you are doing my fucking head in' then said she had to go. meanwhile every little tiny thing that ever happens in her life I'm expected to listen to her rant for hours, or help her, or tell her how to do something etc

Also noticed that everyone seems nice to me when they need me for something then the rest of the time they speak to me like shit, I only ever hear from people if they want my help with something, need to vent about something wrong in their life, not sure how to do something etc then when I need something there is nobody to be seen. All I ever get is 'oh just deal with it, life isn't fair'

I then back off telling everyone to leave me alone then get bombarded with texts, calls or surprise visits etc

can anyone relate?

That sounds really difficult. I haven't been in a similar situation but it might be time to put yourself first. If your mum rings about something small/insignificant but still expects you to listen could you say sorry mum I've got to go the postman's here etc just to cut the call short.

It definitely sounds like they take advantage of you being nice/passive. I'd try be more assertive and ask them why it's your fault something went missing (example) or why have you fallen out with me. It might stop them defaulting to blame you.

‘I don’t want to see you as you are being really unkind to me.’ (Possibly quoting them) genuinely very effective! There’s no real comeback for that.

All my life, I have rubbed people the wrong way. I know that I am not actually doing anything wrong, I am just different. I think in a different way to normal people, so when I talk they either don't get it or think I'm weird. I can have a childish sense of humour. I have a slightly above average IQ. I have read that that can be a factor in this. I make very good friends but they are few and far between.

There is nothing wrong with us. Keep being yourself, but learn how to put up strong boundaries to protect your mental health, if you haven't attempted that already.

You are fine just as you are. There is nothing wrong with you. x

can anyone relate?

Sure can, 100%. My ex said once in a rare moment of candour, he blames me for everything bad that happens to him, even things that go bad at work!!