Passed my test - Now scared to drive

[Doyouknowdanieltiger]

Hi everyone looking for some advice!
I passed my test a week ago today (at the age of 36!)
Been out for two drives since, one solo and also with DH.
I was terrified the entire time, I felt so awkward, took wrong lane on a roundabout, got too close on a dual carriageway .

I was never this nervous on my lessons! Tried to bring myself to drive to the park today (6 minutes from my house) and I just couldn't do it.

Im car sharing with DH, car is a long one so that knocks my confidence although it will be while until I can afford my own.

I was thinking of getting P plates, has anyone use them, I've heard mixed reviews?

I suffer from anxiety but never this bad I genuinely felt like I was going to pass out at times.

Any advice please, I've wanted this for a really long time and I feel ridiculous.

I was a ‘late’ passer too at 33 and was stupidly pregnant. Short routes locally helped at quiet times, lots and lots of roundabouts, Tesco car parks to practice parking, basically the same roads over and over then decided I was going to do the m25 on my due date to pick my mum up from the airport - I thought if I could do that, I’m fine. It really is mind over matter I think but start small and build up is my main recommendation. Don’t let anyone intimidate you on the road either, go at your own pace. I personally didn’t have P plates, I do think other drivers treat you differently.

I would get the p plates. Just drive with a friend, neighbour, relative if you can. You will relax with practice. I had very young children when I passed. It was nerve wracking in DH big estate car.

If p plates make you feel better go for it. We all do things that we shouldn’t when driving so dont worry about that. You’ll have had the “safety” of your instructor before- it’s like anything when you are in charge you over think. Just keep doing it every day if you can and you'll soon build your confidence. Just don’t stop. The more you do it the less anxiety you will have. Leave a gap between drives it will keep peaking. You’ve got this!

Just do it don’t be like me who had an awful drive about 3 weeks after passing and just gave up (lived in London so didn’t need to drive) but now 19 years later after having moved and with a toddler my life would be so much easier if I could just hop in the car!!

Im desperately trying to get over my fear but its not easy so don’t be like me!!

I was 40 when I passed. Initially I would go for a 5 minute drive every day. Same route. I then progressed to driving to a supermarket (with a big carpark) on a Sunday morning first thing.
If you can I would go out for every day. I used to find it horrific to start with but you need to normalise it. 10 years on I’ve driven all over the country.

Friend of mine - Robert, going back to the 1980's passed his test but was too nervous to drive on his own and he outgrew his car

Is this your dh saying this? If so, ditch the passenger princess

Thank you so much for your replies. I also have little ones in the car most of the time which makes me more anxious.

I learned to drive in an electric car so felt like driving a go kart. Whereas driving DHs car feels so clunky (old automatic) but I need to make do until I can save some money .

I feel as though everyone is judging me, I've had a few scowl from others drivers when pulling into my street (it's very narrow and I have to go really slow)
I also need to reverse on my drive which is narrow and made more difficult by other cars parking on the street so it takes me a while to manouver around them.

Is this your dh saying this? If so, ditch the passenger princess

DH is really supportive, encouraging me to drive more and telling me not to dwell on mistakes.

Definitely use the p plates then. People will be more patient when they realise

I passed last year at 40! I was the same after I passed. So nervous. I had to do little small familiar routes for ages, literally just pootling the kids to school and to the local supermarket. Gradually I got the courage up to do more unfamiliar drives and have done the motorway a few times. I never used P plates because I was worried in case I got targeted by other deliverers.
Take your time. it’s true what they say that you only really learn to drive after you’ve passed.

I had P plates but lost them on my first proper drive over the snake pass! That was scary

i did get them again and they do have a positive effect on most drivers when they see them

It really does just take time and practice to figure out to drive after you’ve passed your test

Just do it. Sunday mornings are a great time to get out there as the roads in most places are fairly quiet.

Use P plates but take them off when you are confident. My friend kept her P plates on for about 3 years after passing so if she made a mistake then others would think she had just passed!
Everyone makes mistakes, I do after 26 years - just keep going out doing small trips every day and also do in heavy rain, night and then introduce rush hour.
I did a thing called pass plus - not sure if this is still around but it was 26 years ago. I had to drive an hour on motorway, hour a night, hour in rain and got cheaper insurance. Probably not these days but it certainly helped confidence!

Just keep driving to build your confidence.Within a month you will be less anxious.

This period after initially passing is tough. I used my sat nav for every single drive just to feel like I had company I think but also it was one less thing to think about. You may also find that helps.

I agree with short drives and getting used to the neighbourhood to build your confidence.

I used a rear P plate for the first few months because I found having vans up my backside at roundabouts stressful, but found people tended to drive more aggressively around me and go for overtakes etc - it kind of had the opposite effect where everyone seemed to assume I would take ages manoeuvring and or be driving really slowly even when I actually wasn't. I ended up with a courtesy car for a few weeks and my P plate wouldn't stick to it, it was a good time to ditch them.

could you use your DHs car and do some driving on a motorway.

sounds crazy but statistically it's safer than A and B roads. All heading in one direction, same speed, no L drivers. Just go out on a Sunday morning when it's quiet, maybe plan to visit a friend who lives near a Motorway.

on the day I passed my test, my father hired a car for me as a surprise and I drove to my friend's house for the weekend. It gave me so much confidence and felt great only having me in the driving seat.

I would say go out by yourself at 8am on a sat or sun. Dont take the kids, just go 30 mins max somewhere simple. Get used to the car. It doesnt matter if its long unless you are parallel parking.
Passing your test doesnt make you a perfect driver, just ready to learn by yourself. You can do it. Build up gradually.

Thank you everyone for your advice, I did a good drive today, even did some dual carriageway work.
Trying to not be so harsh on myself if my positioning isn't perfect, putting P plates on definitely helped, I found cars gave me just a little extra room and time.

Defensive driving intensive course. I did one a few years ago A full week in York with BSM. Worked a dream. Well done passing yr test!!!

Ooh I've never heard of that before will look into it thank you!

Agree with everyone else, absolutely essential to go out daily. Even if only for a quick drive around the block. Have google maps on your phone to take the stress out of remembering where you’re going. If possible leave the kids with your husband and go on your own even if it’s literally for 5 min.

Bear in mind that once you’ve passed your test is when you actually start learning to drive properly. It’s daunting and scary for everyone. You can do it! Very soon you will hop in the car without a second thought.

@Doyouknowdanieltiger fantastic news.

it really is all about just getting the driving in and getting used to different situations

my advice now is always use your signals (and I say that as an Audi driver) so if you miss something they will see what you are up to

and if you mess up your positioning a sorry hand wave can make a lot of difference to the person you’ve just cut up (again as an Audi driver)