If you've emigrated, have you considered that it's not always easy to return?

[Wiresring]

Either permanently or for a visit?

Money, of course will protect you in many circumstances and mean that funds are available if you needed to return because of e.g. divorce or family illness, but we've seen circumstances in recent years which mean it's not necessarily as easy as it seems.

A friend emigrated to Australia and is genuinely living the dream, but I don't think she'll ever fully recover from not being able to return when her Dad was dying or from missing her funeral during Covid.

Another friend, a single man, took a temporary job in Amsterham just before Covid hit and was stuck for months, working from home, in his room in a City that was basically closed, but unable to return because of travel restrictions.

And an extreme, a friend living in the ME with her H, finally got everything in place to leave, but now doesn't know when she might be able to get a flight.

I'm not a risk taker, so probably not in the market to emigrate anyway, but especially the Holland "it's only an hour away" one makes me shudder.

My dad always said, if you are in the Uk you can always walk home

Oh thanks for the advice, yeah it never occurred to me when moving across the world. 🙄

I'm not sure what that's for. I know it never occurred to my friend in Amsterdam that one day it might not be "only an hour away".

We emigrated to Australia. I don’t think I’ll ever be at peace with leaving my widowed mother behind.

We went home for Christmas a few years ago, and honestly the grief I felt on returning back to Australia afterwards has made me think that going back to the UK for visit is just too hard emotionally. We live a good life here, but I’m left with a feeling that I don’t belong in either place now.

I’m across the Atlantic and it doesn’t bother me too much. I am not particularly close to my family and only go back to visit once a year. If world events meant I had to skip a year, that would be fine. I would find general travel restrictions / having to cancel planned holidays more distressing, truth be told.

I emigrated and lived abroad for 22 years. I had home sickness on and off during that period but when covid hit I felt completely trapped and I knew I had to move back home to Sweden. That was 4 years ago and I haven't regretted my choice one bit, but I also don't regret the 22 years I lived in other countries, they weren't wasted and I think because I did that I can appreciate Sweden in a way I wouldn't have had I only lived here.

I have loved ones in Aus and they are just stuck until it blows over it’s really worrying as their family member

If I were PM, I would make it mandatory for every student to live and work abroad. Taught me more than any text book.

Hmm. And who's going to take all these working students....?

I think most people do think of that, especially in Australia and the length and cost associated with the flights.
ive lived abroad previously and were in the process of moving out of the UK again, the positives outweigh the negatives of expensive flights or more rarer events like Covid for me

I have a number of friends who had immigrated here or elsewhere in their 20s, started a family and the relationship broke down and that is my nightmare. I have a friend desperate to move back to oz but she has a 9 year old with a British man; on the other hand I have a friend who moved to America with her American husband and wants to move back but he doesn’t.

it doesn’t seem like a life long decision but becomes one for many

Previously when people emigrated they went with the knowledge that it might be difficult to return home . Irish people had American wakes knowing they would probably never see their loved ones again .Flight prices were high and a visit home was infrequent and long planned . It is a fact that has to be addressed.
On the other hand nobody could have forseen Covid or the Iran strikes . You can't live your life on What Ifs .

But these people could just as easily have been in those places on holiday. Until recently, once you emigrated to Australia, that was that. My great uncle went in the 1930s and none of his UK family ever saw him again.
No one ever says to themselves, "I love everything about my life, oooh I feel like emigrating." People leave for a reason. There are always going to be pros and cons.

I know what you mean OP. My friend emigrated to Australia and was devastated when her mum died and she couldn't get back in time to say goodbye. Another friend is stuck in New Zealand - she would like to come home but she's split up with her ex husband and he won't give her permission to take their kids back to the UK. I guess you make these decisions with the information you have at the time and you never know how things are going to turn out.

That's true, of course, but I do think today people use the ease with which they can travel back as part of their reasoning.

I don't think holiday makers have ever been stranded long term?

But plenty of people DO think this is the case. They consider themselves 'expats' not immigrants, and get confused when they can't just 'come home', access NHS treatment, or benefits etc.

Or alternatively you can skip the chance to move to another country and end up in a place in life where you wished you'd taken the opportunity when you could, and now you're too old, and your children are at an age where moving them would be unfair.

Also, the giving examples of people being unable to get home during covid is a bit unfair, there were many people living in the UK who still couldn't see families who were living in the UK. I work with loads of young single people who were similarly stuck working in their bedroom in closed off cities, no different to your friend in Amsterdam.

You pays yer money and you takes yer choice.

I’ve been away from the U.K. since 2003 and last returned in 2008 for a funeral.

It doesn’t bother me at all

Two of your examples were during exceptional circumstances though. People could not travel even within the UK at that time.
Of course some people don’t think things through, but surely anyone moving across the world understands that distance is a factor to consider? It should be taken into account for sure, but weighed against the benefits/reasons for the move.
My parents immigrated to the US in the 1960s. I returned to the UK after uni. And yes this did mean I did not see my family for four years during Covid, but even if I had known the pandemic was going to happen it would not have influenced my choices.
I think a big barrier for some is the costs- if you had moved to a cheap house in rural France for example, then decided to return to London or other city, the increased cost of housing might make this difficult, but this is also true if you moved to a rural location in say, Wales, then moved back.
I think what people don’t take into account, or at least surprises them, is how much they come to miss their friends/family and the lifestyle they are used to. A picturesque mini chateau for the price of a two bedroom flat in London sounds ideal, until you realise your GCSE French doesn’t cut it, the peculiarities of the local shop opening hours and the red tape, plus the isolation during the long wet winters doesn’t quite match the dream. Too many think the holiday experience will be constant once they move there full time.
And it does surprise me when someone decides to move to Australia or Spain or wherever, without actually having visited the country! They get seduced by the idea. Conversely making a move then deciding in less than a year that it’s not working out - it takes time to bed in to a new area. Only the people involved can decide if it’s worth sticking it out.

I live abroad and spent one Christmas during the pandemic at my parents' house in SW England with no issues, while my brother spent that Christmas by himself having been ordered by the government to stay in London. I suppose he should never have left the village in case of restrictions to domestic travel.

Covid was an exceptional time and I don't think those examples count. No one could have predicted that the whole world would shut down. The single bloke in Amsterdam would have been in a very similar situation in the UK anyway, sitting in his room working from home and possibly being allowed to bubble up with a family member, but he certainly wouldn't have been able to meet up with lots of people.

If you go to Australia or New Zealand then you have to accept that you can't come back for everything that happens, such as every family member's funeral (uncles or aunts for example) or that you might not make it back in time if a parent is dying. The people I know who have emigrated there have all considered this. It's the risk you take.

DH parents were always so thrilled to have moved abroad.
Now MIL has died and FIL is a widower and most of their expat friends are elderly or dying my FIL feels very differently. He can barely afford a flight home as costs have risen so much and he has lots of medical bills b And he certainly can't afford to move home. The heat that seemed so lovely 20 years ago is now debilitating (thanks to his age and climate change).. I'm gutted for him

He'd have been able to move back "home" to his parents though, or to a city where he knew people to buddy up with.

I think it depends on your mindset. When I emigrated I no longer felt like the UK was my home, so my mindset is never on looking back. I would never feel stranded here because here is my new home. Part of the reason we left is because we felt so trapped in the UK during Covid