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Teenage intense friendship advice please

2 replies

Pleasedontputthatthere · 04/03/2026 12:38

My DS(13) has ADHD and severe dyslexia. He has struggled with friendships generally but this has improved in the last year as he has started ADHD meds.
He has a friendship with a girl which is frankly batshit. She is 'going out' with another boy in the group but is playing them off against each other. They are on call whenever he's allowed to be on call, if they meet-up then she is calling him as soon as he leaves.
She seems to have a lot more freedom than DS so has suggested going into our city to hang out - hard no from us. DS respects this and sometimes I feel like he is glad to be rescued from situations.
He gets incredibly upset when he upsets her. She calls him very upset as her cousin recently died and I could hear it's a lot for DS to deal with, he was suggesting she speak to her parents.
What do I do here? Try and keep him busy and let it play out or put some firmer boundaries in place? I thought about asking him to reduce the amount of contact voluntarily and see how he does with that?
Anyone with sage advice please?

OP posts:
Pr1mr0se · 04/03/2026 12:47

Is your son happy with the friendship?
What is it about the friendship that makes you think it is inappropriate?
From what you have written this sounds like a pretty standard teenage boy-girl supportive friendship to me. I'd be very happy if I was the parent of the teenage girl as your son sounds like a very good influence.

Pleasedontputthatthere · 04/03/2026 13:47

Thanks for your reply.

I have no doubt that DS is a good influence but I'm not sure this girl is a good influence on him. That said, he has to grow up and make the right decisions even when it's harder.

She is certainly playing the two boys off against each other, whilst they are watching a film she will cuddle DS to annoy the other boy.

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