How to overcome jealousy

[UnfoundedJealousy]

No idea why but I’ve developed severe jealousy. There’s no cause or reason it just happened. I’m not allowing it to affect things and dh doesn’t even know, but I know and I feel horrible.

It’s probably from insecurity. It started when I felt our neighbour was too chatty with dh. Now it’s one of our friends and I’ve just made excuses either not to see her or to see her away from the house and alone.
Dh does drop off 2 mornings a week and I’ve started to go too as he was talking about chatting to a particular mum. I also cancelled our cleaner and have just started doing the cleaning myself as Dh was making her a drink on arrival and not even offering me one. I told him I did it to save towards a holiday .

I don’t even know why I suddenly feel this way. Dh thinks I’m making an effort and has said how nice it’s been spending more time together and he appreciates it and thinks a holiday will be a great idea.

Do I just carry on and hope this passes ?

I think you really have some work to do on yourself and your relationship, you need to figure out why you feel this way before you can figure out how to fix it.

The way you are living now really isn’t fair on anyone involved.

Your DH sounds sweet. Has anything else in your life changed that could be adding to your insecurities? Weight gain? Problems at work? Feeling haggard? I think it's unlikely that these intense feelings of jealousy come from absolutely nowhere, unless everything is calm and steady in your life and a small part of you wants to sabotage that?

Have you always had this tendency or has it just popped up now? Has it coincided with any life changes like menopause, weight gain, job changes? It's nice to spend more time with your DH but not if your motivation is basically to stop him from speaking to any other women! Do you feel he's flirtatious or just friendly?

You're making excuses not to see your friend.

You're 'escorting' your DH to his school drop offs.

You've sacked your cleaner.

This isn't going to do away on its own OP, in fact I'd say it's likely to get worse.

I'm rarely one to suggest therapy but I really think you need it before your DH starts to notice and you begin to stifle him.