Dd and being excluded by peers

[Joharvelle]

My dd is 11 and in year 6. There are only 6 girls in her class. For the last 6-9 months she had been having problems with a particular girl in her class.
It started out that she would exclude my dd from conversations and whisper to people in front of her. It the progressed to dragging one of the other girls away when my dd tried to talk to her. She had a sleepover with one of the girls and got a slew of messages from the bullying girl calling her a friend stealer, the girl was also making videos about my dd and sending them to the class via WhatsApp groups.
At this point I spoke to the school and was told that it would be dealt with. A month or so went by and it had seemed to have improved but just before Xmas is started up again. More videos about her, and now out of the 6 girls only 1 of them will talk to my dd. She comes home and cries at least twice a week. Thr main girl will sit and stare at her in class so much so that she had been moved multiple times out of my dd space and eyeline. Today she and the rest of the girls covered their fingers in pollen (my dd has bad hayfever) and they chased her around trying to rub the pollen on her face.
Schools advice to my dd is "just ignore it" but she doesn't want to go to school, she regularly cries and she often says things like "no one likes me and I have no friends left"
I have emailed the school again but I am at a total loss on how to handle this.

Document everything including screenshots.
Go over their heads?
Legal action?

Chasing your daughter in order to put pollen in her face is not bullying. It's terrorizing her.

ETA Sorry, no idea how the GIF got added.

Is this school WhatsApp groups or do they all have smartphone access?

They all have smartphone access. The girl then deletes the videos but luckily I have managed to get screen recordings of most of them. I'm just so sick of my dd feeling so despondent and noone at school seeming to care.

School have pretty much told my dd today that the girls in question were just messing about so not to get upset about the pollen.... an important point to mention is my dd has other much more severe food allergies and now I feel that they clearly do not take this at all seriously

Not acceptable. Can’t believe they’re downplaying it. I’d be going in and demanding meetings with them. She’s not safe in school. I would be requesting to see the DSL and saying that if they’re not prepared to safeguard your child’s health and wellbeing you will be putting in a formal complaint and contacting the local authority

Can she move schools? I wouldn’t be sending my daughter to deal with this every day.

The school sound weak. The girls are being vicious and they can't be bothered to deal with it. Maybe time to complain higher up the chain in writing.
Have you asked for your dd to be in a separate class from the ringleader at secondary if going to the same school?

Yes, is this possible?

Sadly the only school close by with space is a Welsh stream school and she isn't a fluent Welsh speaker. I am going to request that she is put in a different form at secondary school, she has some friends from another school that she would prefer to be in form with.
She is normally such a bright confident girl who loved school but they are making her hate it. I can't believe that they are not thinking that today it is pollen but next week it could be peanuts and my child could potentially end up in hospital.

Your poor daughter. So heartbreaking. You need to escalate this to the governors and the local authority. Look at the school policies around bullying. I had to escalate things last year and I absolutely hate confrontation and speaking up. But I had to pull up my big girl pants as things were becoming unsafe.

As soon as I wrote to the head that I was taking the issue to the governors and LA, quoting their bullying policy (that child have the right to learn in a safe environment), things started to change. I think schools will fob you off until you get serious and show you are not willing to stand for it.

B est of luck.

Your poor DD. My sibling is a teacher and has recommended these steps for bullying. Because it is bullying.

• Document Everything: Keep a record of all incidents (dates, times, witnesses) and any evidence, such as screenshots of cyberbullying.
• Talk to the School: Arrange a meeting with the teacher or head of year to discuss the issue.
• Review Policies: Request the school’s anti-bullying and behavior policy.
• Escalate if Necessary: If the bullying continues, contact the headteacher, then the school governors, and finally the Local Education Authority.

@Joharvelle Just read your post re the school's response as the girls are just messing around. You must tell them that is not on.
Read your school's policy on bullying. Use that to insist on immediate action reiterating your past complaints and their responses.
Detail anything recent.
Copy your letter to their superior body.
I'm not familiar with your system, so others who are will need to step in here to offer specific guidance if you can give your general location.
Bullying has become this thing people shrug there shoulders about, but it can lead to life long damage and it doesn't have to be a severe instance either.