My son has no friends and I feel like it’s my fault

[Hazelboxy]

My son is 19 and has no friends I can’t help but to think it’s my fault

my son decided to start working early in his life ~ age 15, due to me and my husband struggling financially ( after a bad investment we lost our house and had debt to pay off ).

My son decided to step up and help us ( we didn’t ask him to, matter of fact we were against it ) but he wouldn’t take no for an answer

my husband passed away 2 years ago, and my son took the responsibility to be the man of the house, got a full time job and help me pay off the debt ( again on his own accord) I would never force him to do so.

anyway due to not going to college and working all the time his friendships from school fell apart and he never had opportunities to make new ones.

from our conversations I know he’s not depressed about it and he has his own hobbies like gym, swimming, rock climbing, playing guitar, cooking and drawing and he did tell me that he enjoys doing his hobbies and is not in a bad mental state but again maybe he is just saying that to not make me worry. I just wish he had friends his age to share those hobbies with.

sometimes I can’t help but to think that me and my husband should have been more firm in telling him not to get a job but if we’re being honest we knew that we needed his help

Im just wondering if there’s anything I can do for him or is there a way to make him more comfortable so that he is reassured that he can be open with me about anything

Your son sounds amazing. Can he go back
into education now or is his job working well? Could he try more social activities? An amateur football club or drama etc?

Thank you, we are almost out of debt around 2 years left of payment, I talked to him about it but he told me that his job is paying him well so he’s most likely not gonna go back to education, as far as social clubs he tried it in the past year but just doesn’t really have enough time to make that commitment

He sounds incredible - mature, grounded and a really interesting and kind young man. I don't think you need worry so much, op, if he was depressed he wouldn't be able to sustain so many hobbies and interests. Most of his peers are at a very different stage in life right now, studying or whatever, this will even out in a few years as they begin working life. I'm sure he'll find people to befriend.

Thank you, I really hope he does find friends around his age in the future, I guess as his mom I can’t help but to other think somethings

@Hazelboxy not your fault he's and adult and can interact how he sees fit!