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Original poster

If you used to be scared of driving… how did you overcome that?

58 replies

Idratherbewithmycat · 28/02/2026 20:19

And is it so crazy to just give it up instead?
I don’t need to drive on a daily basis but do acknowledge that my life would be easier in certain situations if I had the freedom to drive to places.
I got my licence over 20 yrs ago, never needed to drive as I lived in London. Did a few refresher lessons last year and it got better but haven’t driven for almost 10 months now and I feel back to the start. I am particularly scared pf driving if DD is in the car for example. How do I overcome this? And do I have to overcome this? I don’t want to send DD the message that driving is dangerous and that I had given up because I was scared but equally, I am scared and struggle to just get on with it!

OP posts:
apeaceful2026 · 28/02/2026 20:21

Maybe a good patient instructor for a bit longer might help you to feel confident. Even take your DD along. I've taken my DD to a few of my lessons whilst she watched a tablet and it helped.

TwoTuesday · 28/02/2026 20:27

Can you get a job or start doing an activity that you have to drive to? Then you'll get used to it. You just have to put the hours in. Make yourself drive to shops, don't get things delivered, offer lifts, go somewhere you've always wanted to go.. just get in the car. I felt like you, I got a job where the least stressful thing was the driving and I soon got used to it.

Original poster
Idratherbewithmycat · 28/02/2026 20:29

TwoTuesday · 28/02/2026 20:27

Can you get a job or start doing an activity that you have to drive to? Then you'll get used to it. You just have to put the hours in. Make yourself drive to shops, don't get things delivered, offer lifts, go somewhere you've always wanted to go.. just get in the car. I felt like you, I got a job where the least stressful thing was the driving and I soon got used to it.

I work in central London, no I can’t just suddenly get a job where I have to drive.
I can however use the car a couple of times a week to drive to the gym for example, even though it’s literally 7 mins away by car… but that still fills me with anxiety

OP posts:
Allschoolsareartschools · 28/02/2026 20:30

A massive change for me was getting an automatic. I'm enjoying driving again for the first time in years.

blackteaplease · 28/02/2026 20:31

It gets better with practice, you just get used to it. For me we moved to the countryside and I could no longer walk or bus to where I needed to be so I was forced to drive

Monsterslam · 28/02/2026 20:32

My change came when dh hit the car and dented it. It was a switch. I suddenly wasn't scared of ruining the car because he'd already fucked it!

Albarino · 28/02/2026 20:33

Allschoolsareartschools · 28/02/2026 20:30

A massive change for me was getting an automatic. I'm enjoying driving again for the first time in years.

Same for me - switching to automatic & forcing myself to drive everyday. I hated driving, used to worry about having to drive for days beforehand etc. I'm now a hugely confident driver in all situations, happily reverse park into the tightest spots & have driven all over the world. Unfortunately you just have to do it, over & over again, until the fear response abates.

HeddaGarbled · 28/02/2026 20:35

Just practice.

Also a small car that’s easy to manoeuvre, park and fit through gaps.

sparklypandabear · 28/02/2026 20:38

I was very, very close to just giving up but then I started a new hobby I had to drive to. Ten years on I’m very glad I didn’t stop, I have actually moved on to a different job now and drive there too and it’s mad to think I almost gave up driving entirely.

I looked into refresher lessons but never went down that route in the end, it’s worth considering though. I did go to an industrial estate on a Sunday morning to practise driving though!

BusterGonad · 28/02/2026 20:52

The only way is to actually drive, especially on the motorways.

Droppit · 28/02/2026 20:52

Like you I passed my test then didn't need to drive immediately. Necessity is what got me over my nerves. The only way to get over the anxiety is to build confidence by driving - the more you do it, the more confident you become.

Can you create a driving schedule and go for a drive when you don't need to?

Would you consider something like hypnotherapy to help?

SuperJune · 28/02/2026 21:06

Have somewhere you go to regularly and drive there - the gym like you say will be great. You will soon get used to the journey and that bit of confidence will help you to push yourself to drive further. Doesn’t matter if it’s just a 10min drive, it will help as long as you do it a few times a week.
as part of these trips practice parking. Naturally you will get used to your car the more you drive so this will get easier. And play some nice songs in your car, perhaps go to a drive through to get a coffee. All good things to help you associate your car with good vibes!
driving anxiety can be so tough but in my experience it’s just about familiarising yourself and gaining confidence one step at a time. And such a good skill to have!

simpledeer · 28/02/2026 21:06

Hypnotherapy

potentialdogowner · 28/02/2026 21:12

This was me and switching to an automatic was a game changer. I love driving now!

Idabelle · 28/02/2026 21:15

Moved to a small town with no public transport! I was more scared of being trapped there than driving!

EmbracingUncertainty · 28/02/2026 21:16

I was similar to you, I’m now still not totally confident but I found forcing myself to drive to places has made me more confident just by doing it. I make sure I plan routes ahead on google maps, for motorway driving I watched a few YouTube tutorials on motorway safety which went over what to do in an emergency breakdown and what all the signs mean. At the same time though, if you’d don’t need to drive don’t force yourself!

Milly16 · 28/02/2026 22:38

Automatic and short 'safe' journeys. Build up.slowly. i didnt drive for years because i was scared but forced myself to do regular short journeys and will now drive anywhere (in my manual).

DeclineandFall · 28/02/2026 22:50

I started driving at night in the city as it was less busy and just kept doing it until I was fine. I'd stopped for about 12 months because I was ill and then couldn't believe how my confidence had just disappeared.

xogossipgirlxo · 28/02/2026 22:53

I bought automatic and it eliminated 90% of my fear. I knew I won’t stall etc.

GargoylesofBeelzebub · 28/02/2026 23:21

I made myself drive every day.

BelleEpoque27 · 28/02/2026 23:26

Like others, I got an automatic. Completely different to driving a manual, for me. I still don't like long drives or motorways, but I can do it if I have to. And I actually enjoy short, easy drives - nice bit of time to myself.

rainbowsparkle28 · 28/02/2026 23:33

Getting an automatic so removing that additional stress, a job which meant I just had to get on and drive to wherever, plus honestly just time and experience as the years have gone on with regular consistent driving bit by bit (easy to say I know!) doesn’t have to be super long but just regular and keeping it up really helps I think.

rockstarshoes · 28/02/2026 23:38

I have a real thing about driving over bridges, Fucking HS2 has meant that just about every road out of my town is a fucking bridge!
I’m making myself do it! It’s horrible & scary but I don’t have much choice & it is getting easier- so my advice just keep going!>

harri7284 · 28/02/2026 23:47

By driving regularly. It really is literally the only way. I lived in London and barely needed to drive, then I moved somewhere more rural where I needed to drive to work every day (which included a slip road, my particular nemesis) and over the months I did that job (which also then involved driving to new places another fear of mine) I just built confidence. This all happened 10 years after I passed my test. I wouldn’t say I am a confident driver perse, but if I need to go somewhere whether it’s 5 miles or 500 miles down the road, I will get in the car and do it. There might be some swear words.

CoraPirbright · 28/02/2026 23:56

Allschoolsareartschools · 28/02/2026 20:30

A massive change for me was getting an automatic. I'm enjoying driving again for the first time in years.

Absolutely agree with this. Automatic was literally life changing for me. No more worry about what gear I was in and doing the whole clutch thing. 100% of my attention on the road, where it should be. I went from being incredibly nervous to someone more than happy and willing to leap into the car and drive for miles anywhere.